stay at home moms

---

Posted by kristi313

as much as i would love to be a stay at home mom, a big part of me doesn't want to be. when the kids are little and not in full day school that's one thing, but i think and i'm speaking from actually conversations with stay at home moms that they get bored and want to work as the kids get older and are less dependent.

if we are financially stable enough to allow me to stay home even for just a few years i would like it very much. but then i'd want to go back to work.

---

Agreed. I'd love to stay home until they are in school full time.

---

Posted by Mimacat

My mom stayed home with me until I was 10. We went out to lunch... shopped... drew pictures... went to plays... it was tons of fun. I'd totally do it if I was financially able, although I would feel as if I wasted my degree and would likely do something, even if it was only part time. I do *not* buy the 'its the hardest job in the world' line at all... nor do I buy the 'I'm lucky if I get a shower' line... Granted, its sometimes stressful and trying... but I do not believe for a moment that my moms life home with me can be compared to the 'hard work' my father did out at work all day...

Now go! Attack me! I've left myself wide open for it!

---

Perhaps you were just a really easy child.
Imagine having twins... or 2 under 2... or a colicky baby... these aren't even extremes.

---

Posted by ant n tilde

---

Posted by mishjohn

---

Posted by Mimacat

Ok, I have one.

Stay at home moms / housewives who do not work

How do you REALLY feel about this? Are you one? Do you think that women should be in the workforce and not at home?

---

i am a stay at home mom, but i do work (waitress) 2-3x per work. why would this topic cause drama???? is there something wrong with stay at home moms???? i think moms should stay home at least until kindergarten or full day!

---

it causes drama bc by nature women cannot be supportive of other women and their decisions

so if i dont think i will be a SAHM that means i instantly have to bash all SAHMs and berate them for their decisions and vice versa




ETA: excellent example. Last weekend a new mom asked me about what I thought about childbirth. Now, for my own personal reasons I have researched all natural childbirth and it is something I would love to look into more. . . I am not saying it will definitely happen bc only God knows but it is something that I would really love to happen.

instead of saying 'wow hope you have an easy labor mine was horrible so i couldnt do it' the moms in the room laughed at me, said i could never do it and basically called me an idiot. when i gave examples of people i know who have done it they just continued on about how *I* couldnt do it. . .

if women were supportive of each other - we could get a lot more accomplished!

---

see i think that is silly, just b/c i'm a stay at home mom, i can't support others decisions...people ultimately do what they can, financially and for other reasons......i support everybody b/c it's their life to live and their decsions to make!!

---

Posted by AMGBride2008

---

Posted by Mimacat

My mom stayed home with me until I was 10. We went out to lunch... shopped... drew pictures... went to plays... it was tons of fun. I'd totally do it if I was financially able, although I would feel as if I wasted my degree and would likely do something, even if it was only part time. I do *not* buy the 'its the hardest job in the world' line at all... nor do I buy the 'I'm lucky if I get a shower' line... Granted, its sometimes stressful and trying... but I do not believe for a moment that my moms life home with me can be compared to the 'hard work' my father did out at work all day...

Now go! Attack me! I've left myself wide open for it!

---

Perhaps you were just a really easy child.
Imagine having twins... or 2 under 2... or a colicky baby... these aren't even extremes.

---

Although I was an only child, I was NOT easy. I was sick often. I projectile vomited. I talked and walked VERY early and was moderately annoying. I required attention. But even so, I don't think dealing with your own child (or two) is as demanding as working a corporate job for 60 hours a week, or doing hard labor (as my dad did)

---

Posted by mishjohn


see i think that is silly, just b/c i'm a stay at home mom, i can't support others decisions...people ultimately do what they can, financially and for other reasons......i support everybody b/c it's their life to live and their decsions to make!!

---

ah but that is not how the message boards work!

See girls! You wanted drama, and I delivered!

---

Posted by Mimacat

See girls! You wanted drama, and I delivered!

---

I think it's just a good discussion!

---

Posted by Mimacat

See girls! You wanted drama, and I delivered!

---

I'm scared.

---

Posted by Mimacat

I guess I'm confused b/c I always just figured that you could take the baby in the little seat or swing into the bathroom with you to rinse yourself off really fast. That way you can shower, even for like 3 min, and keep an eye directly on the baby.

---

that is what idid when my kids were young-
mine are now 10 and 3- anyone want them for the day please feel free- i am a stay a home mom and i am going from 5 am till at least 11 pm every day-I wish i could go back to work but it would cost way to much for the day care all day for baby and afterschool programs for my son- soooooo here i am-- only 3 more years than i can find something part time...

---

Posted by Mimacat

---

Posted by AMGBride2008

---

Posted by Mimacat

My mom stayed home with me until I was 10. We went out to lunch... shopped... drew pictures... went to plays... it was tons of fun. I'd totally do it if I was financially able, although I would feel as if I wasted my degree and would likely do something, even if it was only part time. I do *not* buy the 'its the hardest job in the world' line at all... nor do I buy the 'I'm lucky if I get a shower' line... Granted, its sometimes stressful and trying... but I do not believe for a moment that my moms life home with me can be compared to the 'hard work' my father did out at work all day...

Now go! Attack me! I've left myself wide open for it!

---

Perhaps you were just a really easy child.
Imagine having twins... or 2 under 2... or a colicky baby... these aren't even extremes.

---

Although I was an only child, I was NOT easy. I was sick often. I projectile vomited. I talked and walked VERY early and was moderately annoying. I required attention. But even so, I don't think dealing with your own child (or two) is as demanding as working a corporate job for 60 hours a week, or doing hard labor (as my dad did)

---

I had a feeling you weren't an easy child Mima .

I think what it boils down to is this... we can only ASSUME what works and what doesn't work and what staying home vs. working a 40, 50 60 hour week is like. Being a parent doesn't end on a Friday afternoon nor does it end at 5pm everyday... if you're not feeling well, you can't call in sick or leave early, KWIM?

I'd love to be a SAHM if we can afford it. I'd love to be the one to raise my child and be there for every single first experience... Hopefully it will pan out that way (thank GOD FH is more motivated than I am at work!!! )

AND I know a few women that SHOULD get a job bc even though they are home - they DO NOTHING with their children. Their children would be BETTER OFF in daycare actually learning and doing different things each day.

I love that someone posted this! I was a SAHM with my daughter for two years and I encountered women like this. Some women dont understand that when they are home with their children that IS THEIR JOB and they should take educating their children and as seriously as they would a 9-5.

These women give stay at home Moms a bad name.

---

Posted by wifetobe

---

Posted by Mimacat

I guess I'm confused b/c I always just figured that you could take the baby in the little seat or swing into the bathroom with you to rinse yourself off really fast. That way you can shower, even for like 3 min, and keep an eye directly on the baby.

---

I agree with you.. but having many new moms in my life...you are sooo concerned with them that they'd rather not do it unless someone can watch the baby..
Not being new moms..it's hard for us to judge how we will feel especially with all of the hormones that make new mothers NUTS!!!!

Very protective and the thought of 'what if' drives them nutty.....

---

I was just going to write something similar to this. Before I had my daughter I also thought that the SAHMs had it easy and I did not believe the 'too busy to shower' excuse either. Seriously though, I think being a new Mom is something that you cant really understand until you experience it. I was one of those people that did not shower until FH came home because I was petrified that 'something' would happen with the baby in those five minutes that I was in the shower, lol. The fear of the unknown is awful.

Also, another thing that I found difficult was 'being in charge'. I was my own worst critic. I had to make sure that I fed my daughter the best foods, read her the best books, that she had enough social interaction, etc. and would get so upset if I felt I did something less than perfect. Couple that with the fact that you also have to run errands and clean the house, make yourself look presentable and make dinner and there is a lot of pressure to accomplish many tasks in not a large period of time. Then FH comes home, eats dinner, leaves his dirty plate on the table for you to clean and puts his feet up to watch the Yankees game, lol.

---

Posted by yelley77

---

Posted by Mimacat

See girls! You wanted drama, and I delivered!

---

I'm scared.

---

Wait till the LiFers see this thread and attack

I think that Heather is right in the fact that having a child doesnt make it work. That is a lifes decsion.

I think that woman and men who stay at home with kids are raising a family. That is part of life. If you hire a nanny,, or put your kids in a program while you are at work ,.... then you have a job and raise a family!

---

Posted by Mimacat

Also, it irks me that ppl consider raising their old children 'work.' To me, 'work' isnt something that I enjoy or would love to do... spending time with your family shouldn't be 'work.'

---

i completely agree with this!!!

and like dana said--- i think if you have the money and you want a nanny have one for a reason- bec you work and your husband works or you are a single mother and work but make enough to pay a nanny...why should you hire someone to babysit your children when you are out shopping or having lunch with friends or just plain lazy and at home

that pisses me off...i saw so many nannies in the city when i lived there with the mother standing next to the stroller nad the nanny pushing it W T F

---

Posted by Mimacat

---

Posted by AMGBride2008

---

Posted by Mimacat

My mom stayed home with me until I was 10. We went out to lunch... shopped... drew pictures... went to plays... it was tons of fun. I'd totally do it if I was financially able, although I would feel as if I wasted my degree and would likely do something, even if it was only part time. I do *not* buy the 'its the hardest job in the world' line at all... nor do I buy the 'I'm lucky if I get a shower' line... Granted, its sometimes stressful and trying... but I do not believe for a moment that my moms life home with me can be compared to the 'hard work' my father did out at work all day...

Now go! Attack me! I've left myself wide open for it!

---

Perhaps you were just a really easy child.
Imagine having twins... or 2 under 2... or a colicky baby... these aren't even extremes.

---

Although I was an only child, I was NOT easy. I was sick often. I projectile vomited. I talked and walked VERY early and was moderately annoying. I required attention. But even so, I don't think dealing with your own child (or two) is as demanding as working a corporate job for 60 hours a week, or doing hard labor (as my dad did)

---

yeah like i said before my mom had 5 kids under the age of 8 home with her (besides while going to kindergarten and pre-school hours) we were all home and i was a very colicky baby as well as my sister...and my mom had to deal with the death of my brother (who is one of my sisters twins) when he was 3 months...so i say my mom has been through it ALL yes. I see my mom as such a courageous individual and someon i look up to everyday she showed me whta it is like to be a great mother and a wonderful woman!!! yes it was very hard for her at times but she would never ever consider it WORK to spend time with her children and she LOVED being with us (financially thankfully our father could support us while my mom did stay at home then) but she loved doing it but she also wished she worked a little during that time.

---

Posted by cbcf

---

Posted by Mimacat

Also, it irks me that ppl consider raising their old children 'work.' To me, 'work' isnt something that I enjoy or would love to do... spending time with your family shouldn't be 'work.'

---

i completely agree with this!!!

and like dana said--- i think if you have the money and you want a nanny have one for a reason- bec you work and your husband works or you are a single mother and work but make enough to pay a nanny...why should you hire someone to babysit your children when you are out shopping or having lunch with friends or just plain lazy and at home

that pisses me off...i saw so many nannies in the city when i lived there with the mother standing next to the stroller nad the nanny pushing it W T F

---

its a shame. I see that everyday. Does it take that much effort to push a stroller, especially when YOU'RE own child is in it? why pay someone..

A very good friend of mine married a very wealthy man a few years ago. They decided it was time to have kids. (hes alot older) so they have a 1.5 yr old now. As soon as the baby was born, her husbands solution was 'we will hire a nanny' so she fought back and said 'nooo I can be a mom just like everyone else, i dont need someone walking around with me, taking care of my child'
She has no family, her mom is sick. Her husband wants nothing to do with this child. At all. Doesnt watch him, never changed his diapers, never even stayed in the same room with him longer than a few mins b/c he 'cant handle it' and 'its not his responsibilty'...he was raised (along with cousins/uncles/aunts etc.) with nannies and nurses taking care of them. Not their own parents.
very sad situation. And then they wonder why these kids grow up to hate their parents
not all cases of course but still