FH and I are planning to have our wedding in the Fall of 2008 because his cousin is getting married in January 2008 and I didn't want to steal her thunder.
FH originally wanted to get married in Fall 2007 but I vetoed it because of his cousin.
However, after seriously thinking about it, waiting another year to get married is going to cost us thousands(at least $15,000 for expenses that would be cheaper if combined). We are also a lot older than her and ready to be married now.
It makes more sense for us to get married this year, but his cousin is so excited about her wedding and I really don't want to offend or hurt her.
What should I do?
alison1daland
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
Did you ask her about it? She might not mind, as long as there were a few months between the 2.. (i.e. if hers is in Jan, do your in Sept. or Oct, so that afterwards there are a few months for the limelight to switch to her and her to enjoy it...)
Princess Cut Bride
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
$15,000 is a lot of money!!!! I would definitely do it in Fall 2007 if it meant we could save that much money. It's not like you would be getting married the same month as FH's cousin. What month were you thinking??
eelharas4700
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
why dont you talk to her? tell her you have your heart set on this fall and things would just be better for you (especially financially). as bride to bride, im sure she would understand. dont put your thunder on hold to worry about her thunder either!
AlliCatB
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I wouldn't care, my cousin's getting married one month before me. Talk to her about it though, if you're concerned.
cbcf
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
I say do what you want. It is your wedding and you should have it when you would like to have it. Especially if you and FH will be saving almost $15000. I mean hey I wish I could get married now to save that kind of money instead of 2009
But I mean it isn't like you are having it the same month as FH's cousin or even in the same season!! Plus no matter what people will be excited for both of you even though your weddings would be closer than having it in the Fall of 2008. I mean I don't understand this stealing someone's thunder!! Many people get engaged and married at all times of the year and we can't always make everyone happy unfortunately.
I had this when FH wanted to propose to me. He was going to propose in the mid winter/beginning of spring of 2006 (around March/April). But his brother said NO because his wife would be mad cause we would be stealing their thunder (they were getting married August of 2006). UM...hello an engagement and a wedding are two different things and plus it wasnt like everyone was going to be focused on us and not them at their wedding since we would be engaged! So FH proposed this past October so he wasn't stealing anyone's thunder!!!
With all that said hehe...I think you should go with your gut....but you could still talk to her about it and see what she thinks...
ali120206
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
If you think she'd be upset, I'd definitely talk to her and explain your situation. I personally wouldn't be upset unless you planned your wedding in close proximity (less than a month)
I got engaged after my cousin and ended up getting married before them. I asked before we booked, knowing that we wanted to get married in the fall/winter. They wanted May '07. If we waited until the fall/winter of '07, we'd be engaged over 2 years. I was hoping for a year-year and a half engagement and that's what we ended up having.
HelenZ
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
I would definitely go for fall 2007- if you go for October than that still leaves 3 months roughly between your weddings.....I don't think that would be considered stealing her thunder. Plus you said it yourself, you guys are older then them, so you are totally justified to want to get married this year. We also had some date drama in picking our wedding date this year, but we've been dating 6 years and I'm 27, FH will be 32.....we really didn't want to wait another year either!!
cindyandkevin
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
I would def talk to her.
My cousin got engaged before me and had her wedding date set for November 2006. Then we got engaged and I wanted a June wedding. I really didn't want to wait until 2007 so I asked her if June 2006 was ok with her. It's a difference of 5 months and she was absolutely fine with it!!!
I don't think the time difference between your 2 weddings would steal her thunder at all!! In fact, you'd prob have a lot of fun going through the same things planning your weddings together!!
Kara and Todd
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
Talk to her about it.
I honestly don't see what the big deal is... It's not as if you're getting married the week before her or anything...
mskittynj
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
Ask her about it.....See how she feels.....I don't think you'll be stealing her thunder, as long as the wedding is not too close to one another.... XOXOXO Kitty
Summer07Bride
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
Talk to her about it. I personally would not mind, especially if it was separated by months.
Bride4Mike07
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OK... I don't mean to get detailed...but I understand your situation. Before FH and I decided on our date, I knew my sister was getting married in June 07. She's been planning this for years now! I had originally wanted to get married March 07 but due to pricing, we changed it to July 07. I know it's two weeks after her wedding, but a lot of the people, she was inviting wouldn't go to my wedding and vice-versa. We're 'half-sisters' so a lot of the family that knows me doesn't really know her, so I knew that wouldn't be a problem. Three months ago, my FBIL proposed to his gf of 6 years. At first they told us they were getting married at the end of 07, in 08. In Dec. his gf tells me that they looked at several places and they didn't like the price, that if they wanted to get married at the price they wanted, they had to book for Mar. 07 FH and I knew that was total BS but nonetheless remain happy for them. We figure, by the time they get married, everyone will have talked about their wedding and focus on ours. Final advice: If it costs you less to do it before your cousin, do it, especially if you and Fh are paying for this on your own. Just remember, we're already in 07, any changes you make may end up costing you more than if you were to proceed as you planned. Good luck to you!
snydl40
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
I would talk to her about it. We are getting married 3 months after my brother and he and FSIL didn't mind at all. We were even thinking about this past Fall(2006) and they didn't mind either way. It's definetly worth the $15000 to ask. I would explain all of this to them.
stephanielyse
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faithandkevin
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My cousin is getting married 2 weeks after me. We just look at it as nmore reasons for our family to celebrate!
Becks526
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
I don't think you'll be stealing her thunder. Your wedding will be exciting, and so will hers! But if you really think she'll have a problem with it, just ask her.
thelastresort
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
I booked my date and later on my cousin got engaged and booked his wedding a month before mine. It totally did not phase me. What WOULD have phased me is if it were at the same place, doing the same colors, etc. So I would talk to her about it, find out what she's doing and be totally different.
AlBaBride
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
Get married when YOU want to get married. Everyone chooses his/her own date for his/her own reasons. If you're not doing it out of spite, then get married in Fall '07.
greenfreak
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Re: Stealing her Thunder?
Two of my cousins - brother and sister, mind you - got married with only a month between them. And those were two of four cousin weddings that year!
I really don't see why anyone would be upset about a 2-3 month gap. I say, if they're in different seasons, you have nothing to worry about.
