strange

BunnyBears Posted: Apr 28, 2007 06:48 PM

strange

Several people have told me that I cannot invite people to my engagement party who have already given me a gift because it will be awkward. I think thats crazy. I want to celebrate with these people too- just because they gave early I cannot have them there because they may feel weird- is this true? I was thinking of sending a personal note with the invitation that says something along the lines of ' We would love to have you at our engagement party - lots of food and fun! I realize that people bring gifts to these things, but please know FH and I are still appreciating your generous gift and are not expecting anything more.' ??????????????? Thats also cheese? or just put 'no gifts' on bottom of their invite? Or just say something in person like ' Youuu knoooowww, like, don't bring a gift' or just say nothing and if they bring another gift say ' You already did! you didn't have to do this! Thank you'

agh.

emcheung Posted: Apr 28, 2007 06:50 PM

Re: strange

i would invite them anyway but just let them know ahead of time that they're not expected to get you another gift. most of them will already figure out that they don't have to get you another gift.

Espo22 Posted: Apr 28, 2007 06:50 PM

Re: strange

Yeah they might also not feel obligated to give if they already did...HONESTLY i think everyone is wrong, i would think that people who thought of you from the beginning and sent a gift with no obligation of a party deserve to be invited...I would feel a bit insulted if i had sent someone an engagement gift and then didnt get invited to the party so its quite the opposite. The whole note thing sounds great, and think it will work out.

BunnyBears Posted: Apr 28, 2007 07:31 PM

Re: strange

Thanks guys! my family is driving me nuts- I dont know where they come up with these ideas.

I knew they were wrong.

Luvbsb4eva Posted: Apr 28, 2007 07:38 PM

Re: strange

Posted by Espo22

Yeah they might also not feel obligated to give if they already did...HONESTLY i think everyone is wrong, i would think that people who thought of you from the beginning and sent a gift with no obligation of a party deserve to be invited...I would feel a bit insulted if i had sent someone an engagement gift and then didnt get invited to the party so its quite the opposite. The whole note thing sounds great, and think it will work out.

I agree completely... we're not having an eparty, but if we were... the people that gave us gifts are the closest friends and family... I would definately want them to be there!

PS. We're date twins, yay!

SherinJeff Posted: Apr 28, 2007 07:40 PM

Re: strange

I would think it rude NOT to invite them... I mean.. isnt the party for a celebration.. not for gifts?

btw..I am so out of the loop, I didnt know you give a gift at an engamenet party... or even for an engagment. There is after all, the bridal shower and the wedding to give gifts.

So no.. you are not crazy.. invite them! :)

FullersBride Posted: Apr 28, 2007 07:56 PM

Re: strange

PErsonally, If I gave you an engagement present early and then found out you had an engagement party and wasn't invited I would be insulted.

You risk insulting someone by not inviting them. JMO

Summer07Bride Posted: Apr 28, 2007 08:05 PM

Re: strange

I invited people who previously gave me a gift. I think it is fine.

Pam and Mark Posted: Apr 28, 2007 08:14 PM

Re: strange

Your family is weird.

Invite who you want. I don't even think you need to write a note to the gift givers.

dancerandchef Posted: Apr 28, 2007 08:55 PM

Re: strange

We would definetly invite them.

~dancer and chef~

lacey&mark Posted: Apr 28, 2007 09:10 PM

Re: strange

engagement parties are a time to celebrate, gifts are usually given, but they should NOT expected. therefore i don't see any reason not to invite the people that have already given you gifts. writing anything on their card about gifts might show that you are having the party just to get gifts, rather than to celebrate with your loved ones.

drpepper318 Posted: Apr 28, 2007 09:17 PM

Re: strange

Of course they should be invited!!! A party is to party, not just collect gifts, and I'd be offended if I weren't invited just because I gave an early gift.. what does that even have to do with being invited to the party?

BunnyBears Posted: Apr 29, 2007 10:01 AM

Re: strange

OKay, good- I am going to just invite who I want and say nothing about gifts.

I think what my family's thought behind the weirdness is ..If they gave a gift and got an eparty invite they would think 'sheesh, do i have to give another gift now? how can i come empty handed?'

so, if this feeling was common, then i would not want my guests to feel weird like that.

overall, i am not expecting gifts but know from word of mouth that people are waiting for the eparty to give gifts and i would give if i knew someone was engaged so i wont be surprised if i get gifts or if some or several people dont bring gifts.

thanks for your input, brides!

CrisiDrue Posted: Apr 29, 2007 11:00 AM

Re: strange

Posted by Summer07Bride

I invited people who previously gave me a gift. I think it is fine.

I did the same, and they didn't bring another gift. It was actually a chance to thank them in person (I had already sent the thank you note) for their beautiful gift!

Tori9299 Posted: Apr 29, 2007 12:19 PM

Re: strange

Just invite and the people that gave gifts write no gifts, or tell them .

fallinlove91407 Posted: Apr 29, 2007 02:02 PM

Re: strange

Posted by CrisiDrue

Posted by Summer07Bride

I invited people who previously gave me a gift. I think it is fine.

I did the same, and they didn't bring another gift. It was actually a chance to thank them in person (I had already sent the thank you note) for their beautiful gift!

same here!! actually some people that gave us gifts previously ending up bringing wine or champgane to celebrate which we thought was so sweet of them

Jkiesel Posted: Apr 29, 2007 02:06 PM

Re: strange

NO way...........invite them anyway. Just let them know you are not expecting them to buy another gift!

Mandyin2007 Posted: Apr 29, 2007 02:11 PM

Re: strange

I think it is fine to invite them.

the future mrs m Posted: Apr 29, 2007 03:49 PM

Re: strange

that is strange. i would still invite them.

PreshusSmurf Posted: Apr 29, 2007 05:52 PM

Re: strange

We had our engagement party about 5 1/2 months after we got engaged ... and had already received gifts from some people ....

We invited all of them. Some didn't give anything additional, some gave something small.

IMHO, for us it wasn't about having a party to get gifts, it was about having a party to celebrate this special time with our nearest and dearest ....