Ok, girls I need your help. I am inviting a good # of friends that I have grown up with that are really good friends of my parents. All of their oldest children are my age (24 &25) and I've grown up with them and am totally planning on inviting them. However, their youngest children (@17 and 18 ) I am not inviting due to space limitations-and I KNOW they will assume the youngest are invited-how do I go about the invtations? And also-I don't plan on inviting anyone with a guest if they are not married, engaged or have a significant other for a while-is this wrong? I don't have the space or $ to be invting anyone I've never even met!
flower1017
Posted:
Member since
Re: Strange Invitation Question-BUT IMPORTANT
I don't think thats wrong. I agree with you. My fiance and I are paying for our wedding ourselves, and I can't afford to invite people I have never met just because they are related to other people I am inviting. Good luck.
Stacey1403
Posted:
Member since
Re: Strange Invitation Question-BUT IMPORTANT
Not to throw a wrench in your plans but if you are inviting most of a family I think (unless they are very young) you should invite the entire family IMHO
jannshari
Posted:
Member since
Re: Strange Invitation Question-BUT IMPORTANT
I think that if these people are really good friends of your parents for a long time, you should probably invite the younger children (especially since they're not really little). I think you need to either invite just the parents and none of the kids, or everyone. JMO.
As for the + guests...FH and I are paying for this on our own as well, and there are some people that I have to invite that I don't even want there who I'm not even planning on inviting with their long-term SO's. I don't care if they're insulted - maybe they won't show. But the general rule is that if the person you are inviting is married, engaged, living with their SO, or in a committed relationship, you should invite them both.
LisaT
Posted:
Member since
Re: Strange Invitation Question-BUT IMPORTANT
I agree with Stacey. I'm not a big fan of splitting up the family - inviting some siblings and not others, especially if they're adults. I remember my cousin did that years ago - invited my sister and not me (she's all of 18 months older), and I found it insulting.
As for the guest thing, we invited everyone over 18 with a guest and only 2 people (out of 25+) brought someone who wasn't their significant other/fiance. The others came solo even though they could bring a guest. Thats been my experience at friends weddings too - not many run out and bring a guest just to have a date, unless they'd be uncomfortable alone.
bird
Posted:
Member since
Re: Strange Invitation Question-BUT IMPORTANT
I totally agree with you glittergal - we are paying for the wedding ourselves and are having no children and many families we are inviting have only the oldest child invited. As far as bringing a guest, proper etiquette says that it is not mandatory for everyone to have a guest unless they are married, live together, or are in a very serious/long term relationship. Those who know you and care will understand that you are on a limited budget but of course there are those who will not understand. I even went so far as putting the number of guests on the response card myself before sending out the invitations - and I wrote it in pen.....I think only one person has changed the number so far (and it was for less)
Do what you have to do....you don't want to return from your wedding with major debt.....
dino1109
Posted:
Member since
Re: Strange Invitation Question-BUT IMPORTANT
Send one invite to the parents. then send one invite to the children you are inviting-with just their name. This should send the message thats its not with a guest. and the other younger children will know they arent invited b/c they didnt get an invite
glittergal2811
Posted:
Member since
Re: Strange Invitation Question-BUT IMPORTANT
Thank you so much for the input-my friend had an idea similar to bird's-since we are making our invites we can basically write put anything on them-my mom is amazing at these things-but my friend said to put on the response card at the bottom: Number invited(and we fill this in) Number attending (guest fills in) So there's no confusion with not bringing and bringing a guest-she did this and said it worked out great. No sheepish phone calls telling guests they couldn't bring someone they put down. And I also think you guys are right-send separate invites to the parents and to the children invited specifically.
What do you think?
SeptemberBride03
Posted:
Member since
Re: Strange Invitation Question-BUT IMPORTANT
If this is definitely how you are going to do it, then just have Mr. & Mrs. on the parent's invitation and send the older children their own invitation.
I have a similar group of family friends and I invited all children over 16. There were 3 that were under and they weren't invited.
As for the guest part, my FH and I contemplated over this for months. We are paying most of it ourselves, too. We finally decided to invite everyone with a guest. Surprisingly enough - almost all of the &guest people are not bringing guests but thanked us for inviting them with one.
