Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Original post by teachertime

Aug 27, 2003 10:26 AM

I read some posts (I think on the Newlywed borard) where people were upset and expressing concern about parents or siblings or friends not attending their wedding or ruining it because of past grudges and such.

I have just over two weeks to go and I am so afraid my FI's ex-wife is going to try and pull something! During my planning I tried not to think about it but now I am getting scared.

She is VERY jealous that we are having a traditional wedding. BTW, she is married but she eloped because she got PG by her boyfriend. They are not very happy.

Chris

acp1101 Posted: Aug 27, 2003 12:01 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

I am in the same boat.

My FI's friend (I use this term loosely) is in the bridal party and I don't trust him.

He is the type of person that needs attention. So I already warned the DJ NOT to have him speak on the mic or give any 'shout outs'. I will not have my wedding...that I'm paying for...be a celebration for him.

butterfly20 Posted: Aug 27, 2003 01:00 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

we think my mom might try, she doesnt think she is but is wsaying things like ' i wanna get drunk at your wedding'(in a serious tone)

then there is his cousin who thinks the oldest cousin should get married first and is very upset that she isnt. i could see something happening with her

Stinker Posted: Aug 27, 2003 02:03 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

my family is well behaved for the most part -
Only thing is they drink and FH family does not. I have this vision of one side of the room looking like a 'Animal House' type party scene. And the other side sitting quietly and staring - i think I am definatly mixing the tabels up. Also where FH family is more old fashioned 'old school Italian' I come from a very blended famliy ... so I really can do with out the comments from people who think they have some moral high ground over us because they seem more covnventinal on the outside.
I am most definatly giving the event manager and limo driver a picture of my nut ball ex. Just in case it cant hurt.

radiostar Posted: Aug 27, 2003 02:13 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Not a strange question at all.

My answer is, YES.

* Last week, his x-wife asked for an invite!

* There are a lot of DRUNKS coming.

* My x-boyfriend magically called me last Friday because he 'HEARD' about my wedding.

I am more nervous than ever!

JESUS HELP ME!!

Maribelle7777 Posted: Aug 27, 2003 02:19 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Xelindrya:

You know, you put some things in perspective for me. While my FH can drink, he does hold his liquor very well. Most his friends do too. The one I mentioned earlier has a problem that extends not only to beer but drugs and personal problems as well. And FH knows it and has tried talking to him about his behavior. Anyway, we doubt he can make it back for the wedding after he goes back to Ireland in Oct. But as for the rest of them, they are really great guys (and girls) that just like to relax and have a good time. They all really like my FH and they say they're thrilled we are getting married (yay!) And FH is responsible (doesn't drive when he knows he'll be out for awhile) and not every weekend has beer involved and that's his choice, and most of his friends are the same way. I think I'm just getting worried over nothing. I have mentioned it to FH and asked him not to get carried away that night and ask his friends to go easy that night too. We'll see what happens. So thank you!

Lee31200 Posted: Aug 27, 2003 02:52 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

I am a bit worried. My fiance's father always gets into a fight with at least one person at every single wedding we are at. At my FSIL wedding he got into a fight with his parents. So that stresses me. Specifically I am afraid that my fiance's father will get into a fight with my fiance's unlce because they have not spoken in over 4 years. I also have my friend Lori who is an ex-wife of my uncle. Both of them are invited to teh wedding and Lori is even helping me plan it. So it shall be interesting. I think that people should be adult enough not to starts conflits at a wedding so i am trusting that everyone will act maturley. Or hoping at least!

HearzBellz Posted: Aug 27, 2003 02:59 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

From the overwhelming response to this post I would say you are in good company.

Let's see:
there's my father, who I have not spoken to in 5 years...I am afraid he will crash.

There's my FH ex ho is insisting that he really wanted to marry her (yeah, OK...FH pursued me for 10 years, I think she is a little delusional) also not invited.

FIL's...all of thtm, let's just say they are not always the classiest, or the most tactful people.

My grandfather - this will be the first time in over 40 years that he will be in the same room as my grandmother.

Oh yeah, and the cousin who absolutely hates my guts & has hated me since HS, yet insisted that she need to be in the BP (she is not, of course...I told her to go to Hell.) She loves to start drama. She started some at my e-party this week & one of my friends overheard....Lovely right?

...um, why am I not eloping? Yeah, FH talked me out of it

All in all, I think the end result is that things will bother if you let them. As far as the party crashers are concerned, I have people watching the door for me & if they show up, they get tossed in the canal (a very good upside to my entire BP being bouncers ). Other than that, the day is about you & FH & can remain that way if let it.

Bacardi527 Posted: Aug 27, 2003 03:08 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Yes I am afraid that my FH family is going to start some S**T to make a long story short- FMIL is not talking to her sister and doesnt want her at the wedding- now her sister is married to one of my FH best friends and there is no way that he is not going to invite them- then we have my FH 2 sisters who HATE each other because one of the sisters took the other ones boyfriend of 5 years(they have a kid together) anyway the sister ended up marrying the boyfriend- so now the kids aunt is also the stepmom- bad bad blood- the sister(who is now married to the ex boyfriend) is a complete drunk (most likely from the guilt she feels over stealing her sisters man) and when she has a few budweisers- all hell breaks loose!- my FH has told each and every one of them that this is HIS day and if they cant respect each other then do not come-but Im not convinced- and then there is my family who are pretty cool(if i do say so myself) but they dont take NOTHING from nobody- so im afraid that something is going to jump off and they are going to mess things up- the ONLY thing we can do is PRAY and think positive

MarcellaBella Posted: Aug 27, 2003 03:13 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

I was..

I got several crank calls from my ex wanting information about my wedding.. I was soo paranoid that he would ruin it for me!

teachertime Posted: Aug 27, 2003 06:26 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Wow, I'm glad I'm not the only one worried! I'm not that afraid of the drinkers becuase it is a very casual wedding, so if everyone wants to get drunk on the beach, hey, good for them!

I don't think she would show up or anything like that, but she is a pro at using the kids against us. I am afraid that she won't let them come or be involved. We were suppose to have the older one this past week for his birthday and she disappeared with them all day. We went over the house twice to pick them up and she was gone. She didn't want us to see him for his birthday so she took off with them She is great at stuff like this. I am afraid that we will go pick them up the weekend of the wedding and she'll disappear again. And I know if she does this my FI will be so upset if his children are not there.

Then, this past weekend we took them to be fitted for tuxes and the younger one (6) carried on so much!! He then said he didn't want to go to our wedding and he wanted to stay home with his mom. Now this is VERY unlike him. He has known about this for a long time and was soooooo happy when we got engaged. I just have my suspicions that she may be saying stuff to them. Again, something she is VERY good at.

I guess we'll have to wait and see

Chris

HearzBellz Posted: Aug 27, 2003 06:36 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

That really stinks... I am sorry she is trying to sabotage your day

kaangel217 Posted: Aug 27, 2003 06:58 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

One of my FH's friends is 28 going on 15. He is also in our wedding party. I'll call him Fred
Fred was also in our good friends wedding. He hooked up with another girl at the wedding and proceeded to 'be with her' in the bridal suite!
Fred is loud and obnoxious at times I can deal with him for about 3-4 hours max. So FH and I have a deal, that Fred is not allowed near the bridal suite! Unless the suite is packed with the bridal party.

Edited for: My side of the family are heavy drinkers. They can all hold the alchol well but in the back of my mind I am a little nervous.

Julybaby Posted: Aug 27, 2003 09:53 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

I was a bit worried about a cousin. She has a boyfriend who is an alcoholic and is on probation and it's against his probation to drink. My stepmother was the director of the probation department for the county and has to arrest this guy if he imbibes. So my father suggested we invite this cousin without a guest. I was so afraid that she would bring him anyway, but she declined the invitation instead. I was a bit worried about DH's grandmother because she was out of control during the planning of our wedding, but she was on her best behavior that day. There will be so many people who are behind you 100% and will make sure that no one tries to ruin your day. My father told me that and he is right. You just have to trust these people who will protect you from these people who you're afraid of ruining your wedding.

larryswife2be Posted: Aug 27, 2003 10:10 PM

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Plain and Simple...............YES!!! There are so many jealous people out there (family and friends included) who have grudges, etc. But don't let whatever it is ruin your day. IT will be perfect because you won't let anything get to you. Don't worry about it.....we all have a little drama.