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Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

teachertime Posted:

Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

I read some posts (I think on the Newlywed borard) where people were upset and expressing concern about parents or siblings or friends not attending their wedding or ruining it because of past grudges and such.

I have just over two weeks to go and I am so afraid my FI's ex-wife is going to try and pull something! During my planning I tried not to think about it but now I am getting scared.

She is VERY jealous that we are having a traditional wedding. BTW, she is married but she eloped because she got PG by her boyfriend. They are not very happy.

Chris
Sunny Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

I have an aunt that makes me nervous...

aliciahelene Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

I do have someone that I think is extermely jealous of our wedding, but I dont think she'll try and ruin it..she just isnt very happy for us and rolls her eyes alot and its RUDE!! But its not going to stop me in anyway enjoy my day!

LizD Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Is she invited to the wedding, or are you afraid she is just going to show up uninvited?? If she is not invited, I would have someone who knows what she looks like keep their eyes open for her and if she shows up escort her out quietly.

smooch Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

I was concerned, and SIL did pull a stunt. It's a long story, but quickly: she did something terrible to me, and in turn it hurt DH. She then told her whole family that DH and I were at fault. We did nothing to her and in fact acted more mature and with respect to his whole family that I wanted to. But she told them all stories, they fell for it, and she became the victim. We wanted nothing to do with her but we were always gracious and courteous towards her, though not friends with her.

At the wedding, in the middle of the reception, she went up to DH and balled her eyes out for everyone to see. She claimed she never meant for anything to happen, etc. In other words, she wanted to come off looking like the bigger person, but DH and I have been the bigger people for the last 1.5 years. Then she runs into the bathroom. I have to follow to make nicey-nice. She's in there with all DH's SILs. They are all patting her on the back, trying to console her. She wails to me, 'I feel like you don't even like me!'

Now I looked like the bad guy. It's my and DH's wedding. Get over yourself. You give us every reason not to like you, but we never acted on it. We were always gracious and courteous. We treated you with respect, which you didn't deserve. And you never treated us with anything but disdain. And now you pull this at our wedding, making us look like victmizers, and you the victim?

Well I made nice because I didn't want any problems. I still don't like her. And I don't like some of DH's SILs for the way they treated us when this whole thing happened. But I did NOT let her ruin my wedding. F&*k her. She had her day, let us have ours. You can only be brought down if you are willing to let it happen.

(edited because I typed FH instead of DH - still takes some getting used to!)
Marcela1654 Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Emdonlon: What is wrong with some people I'm so glad that you didn't let it ruin your wedding

As for being afraid of someone, I'm afraid that my Dad's wife will pull a stunt That's why I'm 90% sure I'm not inviting her. I'm going to have to sit down with my mom and dad to discuss this. The woman hates me (I'm not kidding, she's VERY jealous) and she's been kissing my @ss lately. Hmmm, I wonder why???
Xelindrya Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

heh.. where to begin?

My stepmother is a freak and very jealous of me, period. Stupid and an out and out embarassment. She LOVES to ruin things for me.. has it down to an art form.

There's my real mother. That would just get plain ugly if she shows up. She would do it only to spite me and she's real good at lying and spreading nasty rumors fast. Then there is her loving husband who is fortunate enough to actually think she's right. He'd wheelchair himself in to gain pity for him and my mother. Joy oh Joy.

Then there's Jim's father. Dead beat father who deserted his children. He may just show up to preen and mock how his first born son married a hispanic woman (the shame). Problem is, my FSIL is a terror when he's around. She hates him passionately and is known to completely disregard common sense and surrounds to share her emotions about him. She's a BM.

Let's not forget Cousin Jerry who's an angry drunk. God help us. I hope he takes his meds. He's known to cause leathal damage.

But hey, it's my wedding. They can all go nuts and kill eachother.. as long as he says 'I do' I don't care. Its one day of my life. No matter what the others do.. I know it will be one of my best.
I just give up on worrying about the weridos. hehe

Boop2704 Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

OMG, Yes!!! Lately FH's ex has been SOOOOOOO Jealous!! He has a child with her, and both my FH and another ex of hers are getting married. And nobody wants her, she is sooo jealous!! She had the nerve to question FH about our wedding, asking who will her son know there (DUH!! His family), she wants to know when , where everything. How is her son going to get home? I told FH he better not tell her a thing. We will take care of his son, she needs to have nothing to do with it. Then she started questioning our Honeymoon, when are we going, and for how long. He told her three weeks and she said, what are you kidding? So your not going to see your son for three weeks? We have talked to his son and he knows what will be happening and totally understands. And we will be back on the third weekend to pick him up. His ex has been making so many threats to us lately, and things are going to start happening soon that will really P I S S her off. So Yes, I am extremely worried that she will try to do something. However, I am preparing people to get rid of her if she does show. Luckily, we have some cops in the family.

Sorry this is so long! I guess I really just needed to vent and get this off my chest!!
tracyg Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Theres an aunt and great aunt on FH's side who are feuding... according to great aunt, there won't be a problem.. the aunt says she doesn't even want to hear her name let alone be in the same room... GRRREEEAATT!!!! (opposite sides of room i think or don't come! its something that happened about 6 years ago... get over it!!!!)

Warned FH's friend not to even think of proposing at our wedding!

(i have a jealous stepmom too... hoping she won't wear off white, cuz thats customary in the Phillipines)
LIPrincess00 Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

I am worried about my FI ex-wife who is living with her boyfriend for a couple of years
longer than we are even together and his sister. The ex just cant get over the divorce
of about 7yrs ago and the sister just thinks she should run everything and I wont let
her. The sister already ruined my family e-party by not responding, so I cancelled
her and her parents and had a wonderful time with my family (supposedly they love me)
If you are getting married (ceremony) in a hall (I am) you can ask the person you
arranged the wedding with to keep her out. Since its considered a private party
you can do this at most places. Always remember though, this is your day and no
matter what - the day is going to be beautiful and you are marrying the man of your dreams.
jannshari Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Oh god, yes! FH's parents are divorced. It was a bitter, angry, hate-filled divorce. FFIL remarried and the woman used to work with FFIL and FMIL (FFIL owned a business). They haven't spoken in years and hate each other with a passion. In the Jewish religion, both the mother and father of both the bride and groom escort them down the aisle. FH is freaking out because it's going to extremely emotional for him seeing them in the same room together, let alone walking him down the aisle, and they are supposed to stand together under the chuppah, which will be interesting to say the least; FMIL refuses to be in any parent pics with him (which is fine and I completely understand that - I love FMIL, so whatever she wants is fine by me), all of their joint friends who chose sides after the divorce will be there, and FFIL has a tendency to drink, a lot, as does his low-class trash wife. When FFIL's wife drinks, she gets loud and stupid, and I can totally see her making some stupidass comments or falling down drunk halfway through the wedding. Just the tip of the iceberg, but you get the picture.

We're going to have to have 2 aisles for the ceremony - his mother's side, his father's side, and my side in the middle to buffer them!
smooch Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

OH BOY! Such problems we all have! Well, we just have to make the best of it and not let anyone ruin our days!!! That's all anyone can do!

Boop2704 Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

I am also worried about my family. My parents have been divorced for 16 years. This wil be the first event since where both families will be in the same room. There is a lot of hate and animosity between the two families. So, my wedding may turn into the WWF Royal Rumble. Can't wait!!
Xelindrya Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Boop can I borrow a few?
I am SERIOUSLY considering hiring a off duty cop.

If my mother shows up .. GOD help us ALL!! This is the woman who did some rather unmotherly like things to me as a child (such as burning me with fire for fun). She's let me know in the past she wishes I was never born. The whole family is in shock at her threat to show up.

My stepmother and I actually have come to the agreement we hate eachother end of story.. but we are normally civil for my father's sake.. but she knows my buttons and pushes them at will.

Im not sure who a cop will be protecting.. me or her! hehe
franksbride Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

As far as I know, I don't think anyone will be trying to ruin my wedding...but to all of you who are a little worried.... to all of you...I hope everything goes smoothly on your day!!! I'm sure it will though...I don't think anyone would do anything!
Fran M Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Wow you ladies certainly have a cast of characters potentially waiting in the wings to stir things up. to all of you.

I hope each of you have a drama free wonderful day. Concentrate on you DH and those you love. The day goes way to fast to pay any attention to anyone causing you a moment of unhapiness or displeasure.
Maribelle7777 Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Fortunately I don't have any ex's or crazy relatives. I had an aunt who, in retrospect, we realize she was either bipolar or a schitzophrenic (sp?) but never diagnosed or treated. However, she is deceased. I have a cousin who might be a pain but she doesn't do it intentionally so I'm not concerned. She means well.

What I am worried about is all of FH's friends coming over from Ireland. I have met some and they are kinda big drinkers. And from what FH tells it, weddings in his neck of the woods (I know not all Irish weddings are not drink fests, I've been to quite a few myself) but sounds like it might get a bit out of hand with the drinking. One guy in particular I am nervous about as he's a nasty horrible drunk, but he is going home for good in Oct from what I hear and probably won't come back for the wedding. We are going to rent a bus for this group to go back to the hotel in and already one of FH's friends said 'oh yeah try to get everyone on that bus will be impossible' -- or even what it will be like on the bus. I'm freaking.
tracyg Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

FH already said that if those two women start acting up at all, they will be escorted out!!
But i'm not worried... they'll just ruin the day for themselves... not me!
Xelindrya Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

Well i used to live with 2 irishmen (my roomies)
One was a 35 yr old slacker in the tech industry
The other was a bartender.

Both drank heavily.. and dragged me with them from time to time.

I don't know about your FH's friends... but my guys were dreams!!! Drunk sure.. a few fights... maybe.. but NEVER when it mattered. They would defend me or a good friend to the end. Drunk or not. The two guys I roomed with could really hold their liquor I mean they were drunk..but still had better use of their minds than most people that drunk.

I think it will be ok. Hell I'm inviting my drunken irish buddies cause they're a HOOT when they get going. They ARE a party!!!

ETA: They're not just irish by heritage.. they're from Ireland.. been in america about 4 years. Whats with the Irish ? They can find other Irish anywhere! hehe
palebride Posted:

Re: Strange question, but is anyone afraid someone is going to try and ruin your wedding??

my mother's cousin isn't invited becuse he is a sleaze!!!!! when they wre children he did some terrible things to my mother...so inviting him would make everyone uncomfortable...my mother wanted to invite him anyway for his parent's sake....but i refused because he's such a creep and i want everyone there to be peoplei want to be there.

and the uncle who ruined my parent's wedding with his drunken antics is no longer with us, so he isn't a threat...

so i think we might be ok!

good luck to the rest of you though! some terrible people out there in your lives!

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