My grandmother passed away 2 years ago. She was the matriarch of our family and held us all together. Well my grandfather hs recently met a new woman online FROM ENGLAND?!? She came to visit once and NOBODY in the family wanted to meet her (including me) because it just doesnt feel right yet.
So....my e-party has been planned for August 25th for quite some time. He invited his lady friend from England to come back and visit and she willbe here on August 25th for my engagement party. I dont want her there. I think it will be uncomfortable for me and the rest of my fathers family to be meeting this person for the first time at my e-party?
I understand that he has the right to move on and not be lonely but he also needs to respect my feelings and the fact that he knew when my e-party was an invited this woman back to visit upsets me.
What do I do, do I just suck it up and deal with it or do I call him and let him know that maybe he should not bring her and see if she can change her plane ticket and go home 2 days earlier (as of now her return flight to london is the day after my e-party)????
This is totally not fair to put me in this position. Am I being selfish?
jgl
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Re: Stressed and need advice
Posted by MikeandJess
ok honestly I understand what you're saying and how you're feeling. However, IMO, your grandfather also deserves the right to be happy. Two years might not feel like a very long time to you but that is two years with no partner for your grandfather, he is probably very lonely. JMO, you should let him bring his british lady friend.
i agree, though it is def a hard situation and i can understand that it is wierd to see your grandpa with someone other than your grandma, he does have the right to be happy also. Think about i, he was prob married to your grandma MANY years, hes probably lonely,
I think by allienating this woman, you are going to push your grandfather away. and not only that, this could divide your family even more.
just think about the pros and cons and the outcomes of both decisions before you choose
GL
SeaMaiden
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Re: Stressed and need advice
i understand how weird it must be to see your grandfather with someone else, that is not easy. Keeping that in mind, it has been 2 years since your dear grandmother passed and he must be lonely and deserves to have a companion. three months after my grandmother passed, my grandfather remarried. I literally mean my grandmother passed on october and the ceremony was in december. now that was hard on my family, but he was older and just wanted to ejoy his life and be able to travel and share his experiences with someone else. i have met many elderly men who have not been able to cope with their wives passing and basically became lonely depressed men that find no reason to live. its a very sad and i pray that they can find someone or something in their lives to enjoy the rest of their years.
i know it is hard to see this woman seem to take your beloved grandmothers place, but no one can take her place. if you think her presence will ruin your party or be too upsetting then i suppose you can request she not attend and explain to your grandfather how you feel. but then be prepared to deal with how hurt your grandfather may be and consider how difficult it may have been to cope with his wifes death and finally move on...
Good luck and i hope it all works out
Snowflake08
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Re: Stressed and need advice
i hope this doesnt sound harsh, but yes, i think you are being a bit selfish no one wants to live their lives alone, no matter what age and i actually think it is wonderful that he wasnt afraid to get out there and meet someone
let him be happy and whatever makes him happy is good for him
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: Stressed and need advice
I understand where your coming from! I think anyone would feel weird in that situation..but to be honest with you ..i think he has a right to invite a guest if he wants..especially because he's trying to get his life back together and move on
Princess Cut Bride
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Re: Stressed and need advice
I'm sorry you have to deal with this stress. I understand that you and your family will be uncomfortable but I agree with what tilde said about 'getting this out of the way'. It's better to have everyone meet her now as opposed to your wedding day.
Hopefully everyone will not let this woman forget thhe reason for the celebration...You & your FH!!!
