Stressed over Rabbi situation - vent - long
Okay, here goes:
My FI's mother is a principal of a Hebrew School. Really connected into Jewish Temple society. She searched pretty hard to find a rabbi for us, and I didn't care that much about it. She found this guy, said he was really cool, he plays guitar and likes animation. He also has taught at her temple. She asked him to do the wedding - we said 'sure.'
Well, my FI and I met with this rabbi, and although he would be fine, he isn't quite what we want. He didn't ask us ANY questions about ourselves, just went on with what seemed to be his oft-repeated speech about weddings and marriages. I'm sorry, I'm a Jamaican converting to Judiasm - you'd think he'd want to know something about us and the way we met, how we plan on living Jewishly, etc. Also, and this is relatively small, he's conservative, and so our Ketubah (marriage contract) would be more traditional than we'd like and he doesn't seem amendable to the idea of short vows placed in the ceremony, which is something we wanted to do. Also, he's expensive - our FILs are paying, but still.
It's 95 days to the wedding. We've contacted a few other rabbis, and one could do it. She's a little less expensive, and seems to be much more open to the things we want. She might be *too* liberal though. We're meeting with her soon.
We've told my FI's mom about our concerns about this guy, but she's convinced that he'll be better the next time we met him.
So, I don't even know my question. It's kinda like - should we stay with the current guy - he's nice enough, and he works with my FMIL. I'm wavering on the importance of the vows - our Ketubah will be read out loud and I'm thinking maybe we could read some of it - the english is very beautiful.
With the other rabbi, the ceremony wouldn't be too different - just the addition of the vows and the hebrew on the ketubah would be less tradtional, basically. And we'd probably *like* this person more on a personal level - she does weddings all the time.
I just need to vent/ think out loud.
My FI's mother is a principal of a Hebrew School. Really connected into Jewish Temple society. She searched pretty hard to find a rabbi for us, and I didn't care that much about it. She found this guy, said he was really cool, he plays guitar and likes animation. He also has taught at her temple. She asked him to do the wedding - we said 'sure.'
Well, my FI and I met with this rabbi, and although he would be fine, he isn't quite what we want. He didn't ask us ANY questions about ourselves, just went on with what seemed to be his oft-repeated speech about weddings and marriages. I'm sorry, I'm a Jamaican converting to Judiasm - you'd think he'd want to know something about us and the way we met, how we plan on living Jewishly, etc. Also, and this is relatively small, he's conservative, and so our Ketubah (marriage contract) would be more traditional than we'd like and he doesn't seem amendable to the idea of short vows placed in the ceremony, which is something we wanted to do. Also, he's expensive - our FILs are paying, but still.
It's 95 days to the wedding. We've contacted a few other rabbis, and one could do it. She's a little less expensive, and seems to be much more open to the things we want. She might be *too* liberal though. We're meeting with her soon.
We've told my FI's mom about our concerns about this guy, but she's convinced that he'll be better the next time we met him.
So, I don't even know my question. It's kinda like - should we stay with the current guy - he's nice enough, and he works with my FMIL. I'm wavering on the importance of the vows - our Ketubah will be read out loud and I'm thinking maybe we could read some of it - the english is very beautiful.
With the other rabbi, the ceremony wouldn't be too different - just the addition of the vows and the hebrew on the ketubah would be less tradtional, basically. And we'd probably *like* this person more on a personal level - she does weddings all the time.
I just need to vent/ think out loud.
