So, even before we were engaged I was struggling with who to ask to be a BM. I have a sister, and then 4 friends who I am very close to (ranging from Jr. HS to law school). Fiance has 2 sisters.
That's 7. Which seems like a lot to me. We are aiming for a wedding of 130-150 guests and want a really low key, relaxed vibe. But I just don't know who to cut out.
Has anyone else struggled with this?
sharivera
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
You could always go the easy route... have your sister be the MOH..and does your FH have a brother or best friend to be his BM?
We only had my 13 year old daughter, as my MOH & FH's best friend was his best man...
No BM'S , no ushers (only my son was a jr. usher) .. it was also less stressful on us....and we still had a fantastic wedding...
(also , none of my friends were insulted they weren't asked to be in the BP since we didn't really have one!!)
Mrs Z To Be
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
Posted by sharivera
You could always go the easy route... have your sister be the MOH..and does your FH have a brother or best friend to be his BM?
We only had my 13 year old daughter, as my MOH & FH's best friend was his best man...
No BM'S , no ushers (only my son was a jr. usher) .. it was also less stressful on us....and we still had a fantastic wedding...
(also , none of my friends were insulted they weren't asked to be in the BP since we didn't really have one!!)
\
We are having a rather large wedding. 250 ppl. If we included everybody, it would be too much, but you cannot cut any because of politics, blah blah blah. THEREFORE, I am only having my one sis, as my moh, and Dh is having his only bro as the BM.
Future Mulligan
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
we had 150 guests at our wedding, we had 3 attendants on each side, i wanted to keep it small and simple, for us it was a great decision we had our best friends and siblings and that was it
SusiBtoM
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
Keep it small and simple. Just go with the sisters.
asg450
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
Are you close to FH's sisters? If not then you don't have to include them as BM's. You can ask them to do the readings for the ceremony, so that, they are still included in the wedding.
DWKSwed
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
We had the same problem. In the end, we realized it's not the worst thing in the world to have a bunch of people that we MUST have in the wedding. I have MOH + 6 and he will have the same on his side... I feel like it's a lot but what can you do. It's not like you're having 15 ppl on each side. It's actually a common size.
Espo22
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
I wouldn't cut somebody JUST bc of the amount of guests you are inviting. WHats more important than that is asking those you are very close to really care about. SO if all these 7 ppl mean ALOT to you then at the end of the day that would be the most important part, a bridal party should be picked bc of that not to reach a certain number or stay under a certain number. Just do whatever makes you happy, don't worry about the numerical part of this.
Hey some people have more people they are close to, including family and more friends they are close to. Everyone is different so keep that in mind.
we had a big pp, 22 ppl in total and you know what it was great. We had no issues at all, nobody caused any drama once during the whole planning or day of.
bride2b57
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
Posted by Espo22
I wouldn't cut somebody JUST bc of the amount of guests you are inviting. WHats more important than that is asking those you are very close to really care about. SO if all these 7 ppl mean ALOT to you then at the end of the day that would be the most important part, a bridal party should be picked bc of that not to reach a certain number or stay under a certain number. Just do whatever makes you happy, don't worry about the numerical part of this.
Hey some people have more people they are close to, including family and more friends they are close to. Everyone is different so keep that in mind.
I agree with this! You don't want to have regret for not asking someone important to you. We are having 7 too. We couldn't leave anyone out. On the other hand, if it is MORE important to keep things small...there are so many things that people can do to help out or be apart of your day in some other way (ie..read the readings, pass out programs, help with the guest book, seating etc...)
Jenn04
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
I had 3 BM but it could have easily been 13!
I decided to keep it small and personally I like that better. I did my 2 sisters and 1 of 5 high school friends. ( left out 3 college friends and my cousin). It was hard to decide to pick just 1 friend but this friend is alittle different than the others and she was there the day I met DH. She played a part in us meeting (not on purpose) but anyway it was a hard decision but I chose only her and everyone understood.
Remember it is a big expense for both you and the bridesmaids. It is only a dress they are wearing and if they are true friends they should know where they stand. Find other ways to incorporate them - invite them to the rehearsal dinner, etc.
JAAMS
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
Posted by Espo22
I wouldn't cut somebody JUST bc of the amount of guests you are inviting. WHats more important than that is asking those you are very close to really care about. SO if all these 7 ppl mean ALOT to you then at the end of the day that would be the most important part, a bridal party should be picked bc of that not to reach a certain number or stay under a certain number. Just do whatever makes you happy, don't worry about the numerical part of this.
Hey some people have more people they are close to, including family and more friends they are close to. Everyone is different so keep that in mind.
we had a big pp, 22 ppl in total and you know what it was great. We had no issues at all, nobody caused any drama once during the whole planning or day of.
ITA I struggled with this for awhile too... but then I reminded myself that I truly wanted all of those people to be standing there with me, and that I wouldn't have been happy any other way.
We're having 26 people total in our BP.
Nina1010
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
I'm at lucky number 7 too. We're not having a MOH... and we're only having 3 GM. So... we are having 1 guy escort 2 ladies each and my sister will walk alone before me. No ring bearer or flowergirl...so it won't seem too long.
allegracristina
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
Posted by Espo22
I wouldn't cut somebody JUST bc of the amount of guests you are inviting. WHats more important than that is asking those you are very close to really care about. SO if all these 7 ppl mean ALOT to you then at the end of the day that would be the most important part, a bridal party should be picked bc of that not to reach a certain number or stay under a certain number. Just do whatever makes you happy, don't worry about the numerical part of this.
Hey some people have more people they are close to, including family and more friends they are close to. Everyone is different so keep that in mind.
we had a big pp, 22 ppl in total and you know what it was great. We had no issues at all, nobody caused any drama once during the whole planning or day of.
ITA...We have 16 in our BP, and each person is there because we love them and want to honor them and share our day together. Pick it based on that, not based on how many is 'too many' for your size wedding. Good luck!
Lsorrent
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
Posted by Espo22
I wouldn't cut somebody JUST bc of the amount of guests you are inviting. WHats more important than that is asking those you are very close to really care about. SO if all these 7 ppl mean ALOT to you then at the end of the day that would be the most important part, a bridal party should be picked bc of that not to reach a certain number or stay under a certain number. Just do whatever makes you happy, don't worry about the numerical part of this.
Hey some people have more people they are close to, including family and more friends they are close to. Everyone is different so keep that in mind.
we had a big pp, 22 ppl in total and you know what it was great. We had no issues at all, nobody caused any drama once during the whole planning or day of.
I agree with this one too. I have a total of 8 girls, because I just couldn't choose between them. I love them all and wanted all of them to play a special part of my day. On the flip side, FH only has 5 guys. So it really can go either way.
violet
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
It can get out of hand. We were going to have a bridal party at first, but luckily he had one brother, I had one sister, and we said, let's just have a MOH and best man. So much more simpler, less headaches.
Oh, and we did have 2 flower girls and 2 ringbearers though just because I have a lot of nieces and nephews, so I included the oldest ones.
MarjorieFrank
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
You may regret not having some important people by your side on your wedding day just because you feared it was too large of a number. When you look back on this important day, what will you care about more... the friends and family next to you or the size of the bridal party? Just another way to look at this situation... (I am struggling with this as well) Good Luck
stargazerlily
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
I don't know if this will help...but my best friend thought that she was going to be my maid of honor because I don't always get along with my sister. Tough decision...but I wound up choosing neither of them. My brother will be my man of honor. So I wanted to do something special with them. My sister is the only one who will see my dress besides my mom. I'll take her to the fittings with me. My friend is going to come with me to the salon the morning of the wedding. Everyone else will be getting ready else where. I tried to make each one feel special in a different way. I'm sure they were somewhat disappointed, but they seem happy to do those special things with me and If they are mad about it they haven't showed that to me.
MrsCtoB
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
I have 8 BMs and my FH has 10 GM, I wouldn't be so concerned with the size of the BP as long as you are surrounded by the family and friends that you are closest too! It's ur day, you can do whatever you want!!!
IrishCro
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
Posted by Espo22
I wouldn't cut somebody JUST bc of the amount of guests you are inviting. WHats more important than that is asking those you are very close to really care about. SO if all these 7 ppl mean ALOT to you then at the end of the day that would be the most important part, a bridal party should be picked bc of that not to reach a certain number or stay under a certain number. Just do whatever makes you happy, don't worry about the numerical part of this.
Hey some people have more people they are close to, including family and more friends they are close to. Everyone is different so keep that in mind.
we had a big pp, 22 ppl in total and you know what it was great. We had no issues at all, nobody caused any drama once during the whole planning or day of.
Thanks for everyone's thoughts and ideas, I think I agree most with this post. It's not my ideal number, but these women are extremely important to me in one way or another and I want our wedding to reflect that. I think I am going to have 2 MOH's, and then 5 BM's, it is what it is. When I think about getting ready and walking down the aisle, these are the women I want to surround me and to share my excitement with. My first official wedding decision is made!
Lori-Chris2008
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Re: Struggling with size of bridal party
I had my two older sisters as my MOH, then 5 BM which made 7 girls...
Then hubby had One Best Man and 6 GM which made 7 boys.
Then two flower girls and two RB..
It worked out sooo nice.. the pictures came out great and the ppl in our party are the ones who are so close to us and everything went great...
I say dont go by number. Go by how you feel about the ppl...
My one sister had her wedding and had 12 each!!!! lol... so dont worry 7 is not a lot! lol
