Such dilemmas...HELP!

I'll try to not make this a book.

FH and I are considering not having a rehearsal dinner because we are getting married at the hall, and both clergy can not attend a rehearsal. So, our option was to host bridal party lunches. Me with my BM, he with his ushers. Now here's my dilemma. The week before my wedding is Memorial Day weekend, one BM will be in Florida at a wedding. The weekend before that and the one before that, another BM (who is very very dear to me) will be in Floriday on vacation. The only weekend left is the very first weekend in May, which also happens to the Best Man and Matron of Honors Birthdays. (Yes, both in the same weekend). Now, my dilemma is....

Do I have the luncheons that first weekend in May, almost a full month before my wedding, to give them their gifts as well as tell them what will happen the day of the wedding? Is it way too early to do that?

So confused!

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

How about Monday night or Tuesday night after Memorial Day weekend, with just a few days before the wedding? Then things will be fresh in everyone's mind

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

I think a month is too early AND its not really too nice to ask your best friends to spend their birthdays celebrating your upcoming wedding.

My suggestion is to hold a dinner right before the wedding but call it something like a preparatory rather than rehearsal...you can still have a great time, give out gift, thank everyone, etc.. without having the actual rehearsal part.

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

I agree - can you do something at night instead?? A full month before does seem kind of early to me - JMO!

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

I don't think that's too early. Kinda of spreads everything out a little bit.

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

When are rehearsal dinners usually held? Are they the week before or the night before?

Edited to add: I'm Jewish, fi is Catholic. Rehearsal dinners are not customary in the Jewish faith...that is why I'm kind of clueless!

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

Usually a night or two before.

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

We are also getting married at the place and are not having a 'rehersal' per se, but we are still having a dinner the night before with our bridal party and out-of-town guests. You don't need to have an actual rehersal to have a dinner, if that's your concern.

RDs do typically happen the night before the wedding.

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

Misty: Usually the night before but its become more popular lately to do it a few nights before. We did it a full week before because a)I didnt want to be dealing with that the night before the wedding and b)we wanted everyone to be able to enjoy themseleves freely so it had to be on a weekend night. So glad we did it the Friday before because it was a blast! If it had been the night before or any day that week we would all have been toast and had to leave early.

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

Mistyeyed

I am getting married 5/25, and am planning the BM luncheon for April. May will get real busy real soon So I don't think the luncheon is too early.

I never heard of a GM luncheon. Have you considered a combined lunch / early dinner so the BP can all hang out together?

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

I've considered everything, but it's just so hard logistically. This is the one big drawback to having a big bridal party. Trying to get so many people to do the same thing on the same day! You're right about the GM lunch thing, FH would think it's corny!

We are also running low on funds, so the thought of having to shell out another couple thousand on a dinner like this would be slaughter on us. His parents are helping pay for the wedding, so I'd hate to even consider asking them to pay!

As they say in my world...oy vey.

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

Hoonestly, trying to coordinate everyone's schedule is tough. I wasn't able to pick a day that whole bridal party could make. I did what was best for DH and myself and the priest and unfortunately some people missed the dinner or had to come very late. We did ours the Friday (one week) before the wedding. My options with the priest were that night or a Tuesday.

Do what's best but I think one month before is way too early. Typically they are done a night or two before but you are not doing a rehearsal dinner so do what works for you and your Dh and unfortunately it may be that you cannot accomodate everyone!

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

You're right about that, especially with a big bridal party. I'm going to talk to FH tonight about it. It also might be inexpensive to host a pre-fix dinner on a weeknight, say the Thursday before the wedding for everyone.

Thanks so much ladies for all your advice!

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

I think it would be good for you to plan something a couple nights before. Most rehearsal dinners are during the week anyway. Plus, if you have it out, you will probably get a lower price per person than on a weekend.

Re: Such dilemmas...HELP!

Why don't you have it a day or two before the wedding? Instead of calling it a RD just call it a BP dinner.Does your wedding party know your not having a RD yet? Tell them your having a dinner in their honor in place of a RD.