So a couple of months back I had a member of my BP tell me she was upset that i didnt chose her as my MOH and suggest I have her as well as the 2nd MOH.. I was caught off guard and shocked by her bluntness so I told her I would consider it as a possibility.. I didnt handle this properly as I should have told her how I really felt but I was shocked.. Since then I have avoided talking to her about it and made wedding talk short or brief so that it wouldnt come up.. Now a few months later, I am tired of avoiding this and feeling bad about sharing my wedding plans with her.. but to make matters worse, my FH and I have decided to both have 2 MOHs and 2 Best Men; &I'm still not chosing this friend! I feel badly about this because she is an old and close friend but for so many reasons I dont feel she is my MOH and for so many other reasons these 2 girls are.. I have considered having her as even a 3rd MOH but thats just crazy & would take away from the specialness of having the other 2 girls but I just don't know how to avoid drama and making her feel badly about this..She doesnt know about the 2nd MOH and I haven't even discussed her first request so I really have to talk to her.. Any suggestions on what I can do??
Espo22
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Re: Suggestions NEEDED for BP issue
that is INSANE that she would tell you to make her a MOH, who does that. I would just tell her that she will be a bm. You already have made your decision and picked each person and hope she can respect your wishes.
ajlgmm815
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Re: Suggestions NEEDED for BP issue
I think that you should tell her sooner than later you dont want to put a strain any further on the relationship. BUT I do not think you should make her a MOH, tell her that you are happy to have her as a BM and tell her how great it is to be a Bm because they have an important role too!
Good luck!
squeekietoy
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Re: Suggestions NEEDED for BP issue
I would be straight with her. No reason to make yourself sick over this.
aimerlena01
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Re: Suggestions NEEDED for BP issue
Explain how important her friendship is with you first but that you have chosen to have 2 other MOH. Let her know that you feel so lucky to have her in your BP.
littlepixie12
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Re: Suggestions NEEDED for BP issue
dont feel bad just tell her how you feel and be honest that you chose two other poeople... be nice but firm and tell her ... thats how i would handle it
jmd75
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Re: Suggestions NEEDED for BP issue
I do think you need to talk to her to get it off your mind. I definately would start out by telling her how special her friendship is and that is why you want her to be part of your wedding as a bridesmaid. I can't imagaine being told who i had to pick as my MOH so i'm sure I would have reacted the same way!!
B2B 2009
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Re: Suggestions NEEDED for BP issue
THanks for your thoughts and help!!! Im definately going to build up the courage to give her a call this week to set things straight.. I usually don't have any problem telling people how i feel but i have quickly found that weddings bring out the best and worst of those you are closest too
Sweeteey51
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Re: Suggestions NEEDED for BP issue
Make your MOH someone you can depend on and that realizes MOH duties. Trust me!! Me and my best friend are no longer on speaking terms because she was the maid of honor and i told her later on in the months closer to the wedding she may have to instruct the bridesmaids on certain things. well she got real nasty with me and told me how selfish i was and how i have to have things my way, i didnt even ask her to do anything yet and she was buggin out...well yeah byatch its my wedding and moneys coming out of my pocket .. So fyi make it someone you can rely on.
Autumnbride03
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Re: Suggestions NEEDED for BP issue
What is wrong with some people, seriously?? I can't believe some of the crap I've dealt with (An old college roomate is apparently pissed she isn't in my bridal party, at least she didn't say it to me).
Even if I wasn't planning a wedding right now and know how it is I would never say something like that to the bride. Jesus.
I would not have her and have a calm discussion with her, tell her that it is important to you that she is in your BP but this is what you want. Good luck!
