Super stressed!!! - UPDATE ON PAGE 2

Super stressed!!! - UPDATE ON PAGE 2

I suppose there is no other time to dump this, so I am just going to say it. I am stressed to the max!!!!
I can't even put this all into words, it would take so long to understand the whole situation and everything there is to tackle in my life.
Needless to say I am very very close to throwing in the towel w/ this whole thing.
I wish I could tell you all I was 'having a moment' or something but I am really at my wits end.
It's purely financial - we are stretched to the max around here and I have no clue as to how I am going to pay for this wedding.
I have been offered a p/t waitressing job, which I am going to take and FH's lawn season will be starting soon so we will have extra income. However it's not even extra...around here we need all we can to get our heads above water. Plus w/ his job (4am-5pm) now adding in the lawns (5pm-10pm) and then my extra hours (somewhere around 75) we will never see each other.
I am so upset. My Mother has paid for the dress and I have my deposit on the hall and I want all of it. I am cutting so many corners (as stated a million times) and I still feel like I am never going to win. I am paying for the wedding. That's the way it's working out around here. His $ goes to the bills mine goes to groceries daycare and the wedding. So imagine what that looks like at the end of the week. Then being out of work for 2 weeks killed me.
I just feel like throwing it in.
This is the real reason why I never ever sleep at night. I get so stressed and I cry and think and search for a solution.
I'm sorry to toss this out, but I really feel like I am doing this all the time

FH and I have had 2 discussions about this and we both want this to work out. I figure it's the only time we can have something like this in our lives. We have been there for everyone when they got married and I feel we deserve the same!
I could probably go on and on w/ my stress and tell you guys a million more reasons that I am flipping but lets just say
I NEED TO WIN LOTTO!!!

Re: Super stressed!!!

I am so sorry you are stressed, there are many times debate whether or not we should go through such a huge wedding and spend so much money on it being that we both dont make much, then on top of trying to find a place to live and survive living on our own (we both still live at home) is soooo stressful. We are even debating moving out of NY b/c living here is becoming impossible, I just try to remain calm and believe that everything will fall into place

Re: Super stressed!!!

omg! im soo sorry to hear this ... my best advice for you is to just take a DEEP BREATH and take it one STEP at a time - one day at a time ... there is no need to overwhelm yourself. I am SURE that you will be JUST FINE and everything will work out - and if WORSE comes to worse - you can always take some money out of the envelopes you get the night of the reception to pay for some things (i.e. - dj, flowers, etc.)

You and FH are doing everything that you possibly can - and your suffering and struggling soo much - and you will make it girl! have no fear - and just relax - and have fun planning! this only happens once in your life - and like you sd you two DESERVE it - so just try to focus on today and dont worry so much abt tom!

Good Luck!

Re: Super stressed!!!

You have my prayers.. Just remember- (I always try to and it helps a lot!!) Whenever things seem at their worst, it can only get better.. There is no tougher than this right?? Things will begin to look up.. I have faith... Try to stay strong sweetie! Vent to us, that's why we're here!!

Re: Super stressed!!!

I'm so sorry you feel this way. We're paying for the wedding ourselves and that's why we aren't having all the bells and whistles. It's tough when you want the wedding you know you deserve but it's so expensive. I hope everything works itself out for you to get what you want.

Re: Super stressed!!!

I totally hear you!! I'm so sorry you're stressing out! I also know it's hard to hear things like take a deep breath and breathe but it's true...it does help! I'm currently unemployed and my FH does not make that much yearly so we are basically in the same boat but somehow we just have faith that it will work out just like I know it will for you. You always have amazing posts on here helping us other freaking out brides and hopefully we can help you too! It may be tough for awhile (not seeing eachother) and such but that will not change the relationship you have....you are getting married and that is what is important...the rest of your lives. You can pull this off....it'll just take time...hang in there and please feel free to vent whenever you need to!! Thank you for all of your help and humor...it really does help alot!! Always here for ya!!

Re: Super stressed!!!

Don't stress out too much about it. You should make a budget and really stick to it. If I were you I would cut corners by not giving out favors, I would book 12th night for photos only and order the albums after the wedding when you have more money. Don't get a video (i'm not getting one) instead have someone film with a camcorder. Very simple flower centerpieces or candle centerpieces. Take a week or two off after the wedding to relax at home or spend a few days at a bed and breakfast or do a spa day with your Hubby and move the honeymoon for later in the year. Actually since you're wedding is in Feb you could do a cheap vacation in South America. Its summer over there and hotels and food are very inexpensive because of the great exchange rate. I spent a month in Argentina and only spent $500. For limos just get 1 limo for you and your bridal party to share. Order inexpensive invitations. Also have an engagement party if you haven't had one already and have it at home, people are going to give you presents, hopefully $$$. I don't know how many guests you're having but you can cut your guestlist down to close friends and family, don't invite co-workers etc. GOod Luck, Its all going to work out for you in the end. If worse comes to worse you can take out a personal loan and pay it back monthly. Its not the best case scenario but if your heart is set on having a big wedding this could work. Maybe you could even pay your vendors weekly or monthly. This is a good solution if you have trouble saving. Don't worry its all going to work out.

Re: Super stressed!!!

im sorry your so stressed! with all this wedding planning, sometimes we get so caught up and then start freking cause we realize we just cant afford all of it(i went through smtg a bit similar)..if it is absolutely impossible to afford, then consider other options...maybe change your hall and some vendors??we all want this dream wedding, but in reality it gets overly expensive...if you sit with FH and really want this, but really just cant make it work, then downgrade a little bit...make it fir YOUR needs, not the other way around....im sure it will all work out!keep your chin up!

Re: Super stressed!!!

trust me ... your not alone, I have absolutly no idea how we are going to pay for our wedding. Granted we are saving but its a year away on friday and we dont have half the money we need. Just take a deep breath, try to relax and realize your not alone

Re: Super stressed!!!

hey sweety.
Im sorry you going through this. I know being stressed and tryng to plan stuff really stinks. Just hang in there. Hopefully in the end it will all be worth it.

Re: Super stressed!!!

I'm sorry to hear how stressed you are. If this is really that important to you then I'm sure that you and your FH will figure out a way to make it work.

Re: Super stressed!!!

I can only imagine how you feel. I hope and pray that your situation gets better.

Re: Super stressed!!!

I am sorry you are stressed. It's very hard because everything cost money. Try to maybe cut some things out, or try to cut the cost of the extras in half maybe don't do a video, DIY centerpieces, DIY invites and favors. Don't do a big honeymoon maybe go somewhere close to home for a few days.

Things will work out. Your stressed and sometimes when we get stressed nothing seems like its going to work.

Hang in there!!!!!!

Re: Super stressed!!!

I'm sorry you are so stressed. Try to take a deep breath and have faith that everything will work out.

Re: Super stressed!!!

I am so sorry you are going through this. I think I am stressed and I dont have any kids. I want to give you 1,000 hugs to try and make you feel better. What ever you decide it is the best decision. Try and take a deep breath. Your sleep is important to you health!!

Re: Super stressed!!!

Sweetie I completely understand what you are going through. FH and I are paying for EVERYTHING including my dress, honeymoon, favors... you name it we're payin' for it! We aren't getting relief from anyone. We cut back on a few things like not having a video, minimizing flowers and using a local florist rather than one that specializes in events. We aren't going on vacation until our honeymoon and rarely go out to nice restaurants as we did before we got engaged.

You can do this. Prioritize and stay focused. If you do this together it will only make you stronger and help you feel like you can accomplish anything together. I have to say the two benefits to paying this on your own is:
1. You don't have to take anyone else's opinions seriously, allowing you to do exactly what you want
2. Gives you a sense of pride and independence

Don't think I wouldn't mind a hand-out here and there

I wish you the best of luck and am sure you will get through this just fine!

Re: Super stressed!!!

I know how you feel! We have been going through the same thing, wondering if we are going to make it and have enough money! All i can say is that somehow, someway it seems to work out. Just save as much as you can and work with what you have!

Re: Super stressed!!!

Aw Laura I just read this now (a whole day late). I'm so sorry you are feeling like this, you are one of my favorite girls on here cause you are always so positive and helpful. So I know $$ can drive anyone crazy, especially when everywhere you turn a new expense shows up. Take it slow, you know little by little things will get done. I know it can get to be to much and just saying screw seems like a great idea just tell yourself that you can only go up from here. I'll pray for you, to hit the lotto.

Re: Super stressed!!!

I am so sorry!!!!! I know how much stress it is to save for a wedding- I cant even imagine being a mommy on top of it all (so a big high five to all the mommies!)

Re: Super stressed!!!