Super stressed!!! - UPDATE ON PAGE 2

Original post by transamgirlie

Apr 12, 2006 10:18 PM

I suppose there is no other time to dump this, so I am just going to say it. I am stressed to the max!!!!
I can't even put this all into words, it would take so long to understand the whole situation and everything there is to tackle in my life.
Needless to say I am very very close to throwing in the towel w/ this whole thing.
I wish I could tell you all I was 'having a moment' or something but I am really at my wits end.
It's purely financial - we are stretched to the max around here and I have no clue as to how I am going to pay for this wedding.
I have been offered a p/t waitressing job, which I am going to take and FH's lawn season will be starting soon so we will have extra income. However it's not even extra...around here we need all we can to get our heads above water. Plus w/ his job (4am-5pm) now adding in the lawns (5pm-10pm) and then my extra hours (somewhere around 75) we will never see each other.
I am so upset. My Mother has paid for the dress and I have my deposit on the hall and I want all of it. I am cutting so many corners (as stated a million times) and I still feel like I am never going to win. I am paying for the wedding. That's the way it's working out around here. His $ goes to the bills mine goes to groceries daycare and the wedding. So imagine what that looks like at the end of the week. Then being out of work for 2 weeks killed me.
I just feel like throwing it in.
This is the real reason why I never ever sleep at night. I get so stressed and I cry and think and search for a solution.
I'm sorry to toss this out, but I really feel like I am doing this all the time

FH and I have had 2 discussions about this and we both want this to work out. I figure it's the only time we can have something like this in our lives. We have been there for everyone when they got married and I feel we deserve the same!
I could probably go on and on w/ my stress and tell you guys a million more reasons that I am flipping but lets just say
I NEED TO WIN LOTTO!!!

futrmrsblt Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:32 AM

Re: Super stressed!!!

Aww Laura.. everything will be fine in the end.. it will all work out the way its supposed to... you are a very strong woman.. and having the open communication with your FH is the best first step (which you have!)...
Just take a week or soo off of wedding planning.. it should be a happy time.. at the end of the day no matter how you end up married. you are just that.. married...
Vegas, town hall, big gala.. all= married..
if you dont have the money now.. get a nice quick civil marriage and do a vow renewal when you save up money..
or ill just come and be your DOC, set up your stuff.. haha so you save tons of money!!!

I'm here if you need to talk !

werock0709 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 11:27 AM

Re: Super stressed!!!

Listen Laura, from one working mother to another. It'll all pan out. I know where your coming from. I mean, Darren and I have ALOT on our plate now as well. We have Lucas' birthday May9th, his communion the 21st, the birth of our child in June, the babies christening in September, and our wedding the following May I basicly work for free. My money goes to the wedding fund, and clothes and supplies for my son, since his father stayed the deadbeat that he always was. I can rant for days on end, but it solves nothing for me. The problem is still there when I sleep, and when I awake. I need to hit the lotto too. Sit tight. Good things happen to good people. If you wanna talk, you know where to find me!!

tonimike Posted: Apr 14, 2006 03:33 PM

Re: Super stressed!!!

Laura,,

Dont feel like your alone,, I know that statement wont pay the bills, But I know what you feel..

My fh works 6 days a week, my job pays bills & his supports us , now with the wedding , omg, what bill isnt behind, whos getting thier money late, it *****,, Im up to 2 packs a day now ..

I dont really have much adive for you , just letting you know I know how u feel..

We are paying for everything, I mean everything. If you think about it a wedding costs like $30k, u got a year to pay for that , yea ok,,,, Some peopel take out car loans for that & take years to pay off, so to come up with that in a year stinks,,

MY fh has a good paying job but he is union, when it rains , no money,, & In the winter he collects , so it hurt us real bad this year, He used his taxes to buy my ring,, If i knew i would have taken a fake one , seriosuly,, Because for what he got , would have made a lil dent in wedding stuff,,

Plus he has 2 kids , ie: child support which is like $300 a week,, Right of the bat ,, Its hard ..

& no less being we are older everyone just assumes we got it,, yea ok,, right imagine that one,,

So im with you girl,,

bride2b24 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 05:24 PM

Re: Super stressed!!!

dont worry girl.....relax take a deep breath and the best advice i can give you is to be practical........take some time to sit down with FH and put it all on paper.......think logically if it is really possible......if not im sure theres something that you can do that will be just as nice.....i hope everything works out

Nina Posted: Apr 14, 2006 05:25 PM

Re: Super stressed!!!

Mrs_C_in_'07 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 05:44 PM

Re: Super stressed!!!

I understand where you are coming from. This is a frequent crying spell of mine to FH as well. The thing that he always says to me that makes me feel better is, 'Baby, we're fighters. We fought for all we have in our life. Everything we wanted we did it ourselves. This wedding will be no different!'

From reading your posts, I get that feeling from you too. I know you have a son. When you found out you were pregnant, I'm sure these same thought of not being able to make it financially crossed your mind. But I betcha you said that you were going to find a way.....you had to find a way....to make this work.

Honey, this wedding is the same thing. You and your FH want this so you will make it work, somehow. I know the answer isn't staring at you in the face now, but it is there. You will cut corners, do without, but when the day comes, you and your FH will be able to stand there, look at each other and say 'we did it' and mean it from the heart.

It will be OK. I know that's easier said than done, but you guys will find a way and it will work out!!

transamgirlie Posted: Apr 15, 2006 09:21 PM

Re: Super stressed!!! - UPDATE ON PAGE 2

I want to say thank you to ALL of you. I have had a rough few days here, but I am hopefully back and improved (as if this model could get improved upon ) We talked and stuff and I got that second job and hopefully things will work out in the end.
You all have no idea how much each and every one of you have helped me. You all come through when a girl is down and I thank you a million times over for it!
I know after I posted this I disappeared but that was work induced and I will try not to stay away too long next time.
I also got a call from my father yesterday that my grandfather has been moved from the nursing home to the hospital. He had another seizure on Friday and he has taken a really bad turn for the worse. We are waiting and hoping here. His birthday is next week so I need some good thoughts for my Pop.
Well my 07 girlies I have some work to do on these boards!