okay, i just started in a new school district, and am getting to be pretty close with about 4-5 people in my dept...there are a few ppl that i would like to invite- but can is it bad to invite 4-5 ppl from my department and not the rest of them (I don't even talk to them)? Or, there are two who i am getting pretty close w/-
one who i was talking to about it before- she asked if she and the other woman could come to the church to see fh and i get married (i told her i'm gettin married at the hall...and told her my dilemma- that i wanted to invite ppl, but can't invite the whole department- space and $$ issue)- I joked around w/ her that she and the other woman should come with their to the ceremony and since they came to the ceremony, i would of course have to insist they stay for the reception...that way since i didn't officially 'invite' them- no one will feel left out...what do you think? what would you do?
donegal419
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Re: teachers- invite/etiquette question
i was in a similar situation.... i was at my school only 3 months when i got engaged and about a school year and 5 months by the time the wedding came. although i am close with several people, i did not invite anyone. it just came down to a money issue.... we just couldn't afford it as we paid for the whole thing ourselves. also, it was a space issue... we were worred about maxing out our hall. also, i'm in special ed. so i felt stuck... do i invite just the sp. ed. people, but what about my grade level? what about the music teacher i am close with? it just go too complicated. plus, remember, when you invite co-workers, you also have to invite all their spouses that you probably don't know from Adam.
Everyone that i love at work was understanding... they knew the situation and respected it. i invited all to the ceremony and only 2 came... i wished more came, but i did get married during a break, so that's understandable.
ETA: just re-read that you're getting married at the hall...that's tricky. you invite a bunch to that, ou have to invite them to reception as it's right there..
snowcat
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Re: teachers- invite/etiquette question
what about the idea that the two of them asked if they could come see the ceremony, and my suggestion that if they came for the ceremony then surely, i'd have to insist they stay for the reception (this way, they can come to my reception like i want them to w/out inviitng my whole dept)
donegal419
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Re: teachers- invite/etiquette question
Posted by snowcat
what about the idea that the two of them asked if they could come see the ceremony, and my suggestion that if they came for the ceremony then surely, i'd have to insist they stay for the reception (this way, they can come to my reception like i want them to w/out inviitng my whole dept)
yes, i think that would work... that way, if it comes out later, you can say that they stopped by for the ceremony and surprised you... the others don't have to know they stayed for dinner, etc. just one question, will you tell them to stay in advance... because it would stink paying for the plates, if they end up just syaying for the ceremony or they feel awkward because they weren't 'invited' to the reception and decide to leave right afterwards.
snowcat
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Re: teachers- invite/etiquette question
i already joked about it w/ one of the teachers, so yea, i'd tell them in advance that if they want to come to the ceremony, of course they should stay for the reception- i just dont' want to give them a 'formal' invitation bc then i'd have to invite everyone (i think)
Rejjie
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Re: teachers- invite/etiquette question
I'm a teacher, and I only invited 3 teachers. Two of them I was friends with before I worked there, the other went with me when I picked out my dress. Of course, I live in LA and the wedding is on Long Island, so that's an excuse too. I don't think anyone will feel bad - even though I was invited to two other weddings of teachers. I talk about it openly with them. People will understand, I think.
MrsDtoBe09
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Re: teachers- invite/etiquette question
I'm a teacher too and I always heard it was kind of like the unspoken law that you're not expected to invite everyone but you could invite who you want without feeling guilty about it. Other people will inevitably find out but I doubt they'd be upset. I work with at least twenty people on my floor alone... those twenty plus dates would be forty extra people! I think everyone will understand it's a matter of practicality... you just can't invite everyone.
drpepper318
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Re: teachers- invite/etiquette question
My school is huge... over 250 teachers... 25 in my dept. alone. I only invited the people I'm really friendly with... about 10 people in my dept and a few from other depts. It was a really tough call though on whether I should invite some people or not.
Summer07Bride
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Re: teachers- invite/etiquette question
I was at a school all of last year and did not invite anyone. I probably woudl have only invited one person and since I knew I was not going back this year, I decided against it.
Two of my colleagues from last year got married this summer and invited everyone in our dept and then some, but not me. I assumed it was because I was not coming back, but I still thought it was rude. I probably wouldn't have gone anyway seeing as how it was the week before my wedding.
IMO, it is okay to not invite everyone as long as it is just not one or two people you are leaving out.
kellygirl
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Re: teachers- invite/etiquette question
I have been in my district for three years now and I am only inviting 3 of my work friends and their husbands. We all hang out outside of school though too. My dilemma was whether or not to invite my principal(s). I am in 3 different schools and 2 of the principals are new, so I may just not invite any of them. I'm sure they won't be offended.
