Work together on your wedding plans including your Shower. Did any MOB's feel they wanted to take care of certain things by themselves, just because it's their honor as a MOB to do so, or did they collaborate with MOG? I did Debi's Shower by myself. It was kinda my joy and honor as her Mom to do it, but families are different, so I would like to hear how your Moms handled things. Also, what about engagement parties? How was the planning handled by the Moms? Mary MOB
FCsBride914
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
My FMIL helped plan the engagement party but just a little. She helped pick the menu and she helped with the bill but thats about it. My mom did the invites, flowers, music ect. My shower, my FMIL said that she felt bad she couldn't contribute so she didn't want any part of it. As far as the wedding, huh! My mom and I are basically doing everything.
It went from little to nothing. She's just not very into it I guess.
MrsD71208
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
My mom included my MIL throughout the entire process. I am really close to my MIL and my mother knows that, so she would never have excluded her. They did a GREAT job!
donnasmom
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
Is it traditional for the Moms to work together on things? Mary MOB
fdny3113
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
My mom and FMIL get long VERY well, and they have worked together very well...i can not complain!!!!
Mici n KC
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
FIL's paid for our eparty and I did most of the stuff. If FMIL or FFIL wanted something, I did it because they paid for it. My parents aren't really types to interfere, but since I did the planning part, I made sure things were appropriate. My mom paid for my shower and my sister (MOH) did the planning and my BMs helped out with stuff. FMIL gave me the names of people she wanted invited and I just sent that on to my sister.
donnasmom
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
Girls, I really appreciate your input on this. Mary MOB
chrissybean77
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
We didn't have an engagement party so I can't really add to that but as far as the shower. My sis (MOH) paid for everything and she and my mom did all the planning with some help from the BMs. My FMIL and FFIL are paying for the rehearsal dinner but I took care of the invites. MY mom and FMIL get along very well but I guess my sis and mom just decided to handle everything themselves. It actually is for the better though b/c my FMIL has been ill recently and I'm glad she doesn't have to worry about extra details right now.
donnasmom
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
Posted by chrissybean77
We didn't have an engagement party so I can't really add to that but as far as the shower. My sis (MOH) paid for everything and she and my mom did all the planning with some help from the BMs. My FMIL and FFIL are paying for the rehearsal dinner but I took care of the invites. MY mom and FMIL get along very well but I guess my sis and mom just decided to handle everything themselves. It actually is for the better though b/c my FMIL has been ill recently and I'm glad she doesn't have to worry about extra details right now.
Appreciate hearing from you, Christine!!!! Praying FMIL feels better soon!!!!! Mary MOB
chrissybean77
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
Posted by donnasmom
Posted by chrissybean77
We didn't have an engagement party so I can't really add to that but as far as the shower. My sis (MOH) paid for everything and she and my mom did all the planning with some help from the BMs. My FMIL and FFIL are paying for the rehearsal dinner but I took care of the invites. MY mom and FMIL get along very well but I guess my sis and mom just decided to handle everything themselves. It actually is for the better though b/c my FMIL has been ill recently and I'm glad she doesn't have to worry about extra details right now.
Appreciate hearing from you, Christine!!!! Praying FMIL feels better soon!!!!! Mary MOB
Thanks Mary! We are hoping she feels better by the time of the wedding its a day to day thing so...hopefully the new medication she is on will do the trick!
BNBride60
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
My Mom did the whole thing without FMIL - which I really didn't like. FMIL has no daughters and would've liked to have helped. Funny thing is is my Mom and FMIL really like each other - so it wasn't even about that. I just think my Mom thought she HAD TO do it alone.
jeanne08
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missK
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
my mom did the Bridal shower and my MIL had no part in it. MIL did come with me to look at venues in the begining which my mom did not.. They would have worked together if they planned it
Soon2BMrsD
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
Hi mary...
we decided as a couple with our families.. that none of us really have the $$ for an e-party.. so we did a SMALL i mean like 20 people BBQ just so the parents/siblings/ grandparents/ a few aunts uncles could meet.. it was really mainly for immediate family to meet and socialize. then we sent out photo announcments. it worked out great for us.
as far as shower went.. my mom took charge and wanted to do most of it herself.. but told the BP what she wanted of them.. which was for them to do the decorating etc. She made sure she called my MIL to let her in on the details and to see if there was anything inparticular that she wanted/needed and just asked her for a guest list. and let her know the amount of people she was looking to keep it too.. my mom said everything went realyl smooth
hope this helps! megan
LCnAC
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
my mom wanted to throw my shower but my FSIL ended up taking control over everything...it was a nice shower in the end but my mom felt like im her only daughter and she didnt even get to do anything for the shower except foot the bill.
mRm2008
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
FMIL has not been a part of the planning process at all. Early on she even turned down going to see gowns with my Mom and the bridal party. Her exact words were 'I'm not interested'.
Although FIL's have given us money to put towards certain parts of the wedding, they have expressed no interest in the planning. For example RD planning - gave FH a check and said 'let us know if that's enough, when, where, ect '. Not that I mind them taking this approach, I just better not hear they aren't 'happy' with our choices in how the money was spent, since they put NO input into the planning.
Cutechef729
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
We have my mom, FH's mom and FH's stepmom. It was a little tricky because of that but FH's stepmom had it at her house. My mom and FH's mom definitely helped with the planning but I'm not sure who paid or whatnot but I get the feeling It was a lot my bm's and FH's stepmom. My mom really wanted my sister to do what my sister wanted for the shower. We don't see FH's mom too much but my bm's were in touch with her and keeping her updated. She had the idea for everyone to bring a recipe and made me a recipe book to go with it. It was kind of split up a few ways and they all seemed fine with it. If there was any feelings of weirdness I don't know about it. I doubt that they would have let that on in front of me anyway.
I would talk to the MOG and see how involved she wants to be. I think that all of my mom's wanted everyone to feel important and they were ok with splitting it up because they had talked about it. Maybe you could have lunch with her one day or call her up if she's not around you guys. Good luck Mary!!! I'm sure the shower will be fantastic!
lucky1010
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
My parents did our engagement party. FH parents didn't seem to want to get involved with it, so they just took care of it all....
As for my shower, my mom did it all again, FMIL helped with the invitations and favors, which was a nice gesture, but other than that, she was all she did. My bridal party did all the games and pretty much took care of the party once it started, but my mom was the host...
del Rio
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
Mary, for my shower I know that both Moms went to look at halls to have it at and they also picked favors together, as for the planning they left if for the MOH. For the E-party we decided everything and just had them included in most decisions, but the IL's paid for a majority of the hall.
snwb08
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Re: Tell me, Brides, how did your Mom and MIL
my mom and sisters threw my shower, and my mom paid for it. My parents also gave us our engagement party.... My MIL did not contribute to either one in terms of paying for any of it, but she did give us very nice gifts for the eparty, shower, AND wedding.
I have no complaints about my MIL's lack of contribution - she didn't necessarily NOT want to be involved; different cultures do different things and she wasn't used to all the parties, she has no daughters. she did ask DH and I at one point if she should pay for the RD - in the end he and I paid for it because you know what - it's OUR wedding and our choice to have an RD and she is older and approaching retirement, and we didn't want to take any of her money.
I agree I would ask - but it's a little different for me b/c in my family the moms pay for the shower and e-party so even if my mom called her for input she would never expect monetary contributions BUT it's nice to have her feel she is involved.
