Ok heres my story ( a little long) I am only having two MOH's my sis and my best friend. my sister is teacher just like me and she is alos in charge at her school of all senior stuff like prom, gradation etc. So she tells my mom that she is having my shower at the end of June ( 7/30 is my wedding) b/c she is going to be busy with work until then. Now I don’t know if I should be annoyed that she is putting hers students ahead of me or if she truly feels she cant give her all until then and wants her full attention devoted to my shower but nevertheless… My fh and I (although I know we are not to be involved in the shower but.) feel that to have a shower late June and then 4 weeks later ask for another gift at the wedding is a bit much. Also its two weekends in the summer that you are sking people to give up( i know if they want to be there they wll but still) People have plans and other parties to go to especially in June I don’t want to not have anybody at my shower either b/c its an inconvient time ya know? Now my questions are 1) Am I being a bridezilla for not really wanting my shower 4 weeks from my wedding should I just mind my business? 2) Do you think I should be annoyed at my sister at all?
My solution by the way is this.. Sunday we are going dress shopping so I am going to give my sister a list of people for my shower and say listen these are some dates that my shower CAN NOT be b/c I have other things (weddings and showers of my own to go to) and I am just not going to have any June dates (except for 1st weekend) im going to say I have plans every other weekend which is really not a lie. One weekend I have two weddings and one weekend I have a christening (future niece or nephew of my other MOH) who by the way is with me all the way on this its my sis not my best friend who is making this an issue.
OPINIONS PLEASE
beachgirl13
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
Could they be trying to throw you off? I'm not sure about this one, I think plenty of people have showers a month before their weddings. If it were me, I wouldn't say anything, people will go to your shower no matter when it is. But thats jmo!!
MrsTC
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
I would be annoyed but dont worry - people understand about the gifts and stuff - I mean, I would.....what comes around goes around! They'd be giving u a shower gift and a wedding gift anyway.
prncssrachel
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
Ok, here's my honest opinion. Please do not get offended, this is just how I see it. First of all, I think that you should feel grateful that your sister wants to throw your shower to begin with. I also think that although you only get married once, it is unfair for you to think your sister is putting her students before your wedding. It's her JOB. Her job is an important one, and she has a responsibility to do it as well as the right to do things so they are convenient for her. Also, as for guests having to go to a shower a month before, I don't think they would be all that annoyed. If they really are, then they just won't come. I always assume there will be a shower, so I plan for it even before I know when it is. I think everyone who will be invited to your shower will be expecting the invite, and the date won't be as big a problem as you think. You can say what you want to your sister, but remember that a shower is NOT an obligation, it's a nice gesture. JMHO.
LisaT
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
personally, I don't see any reason to be annoyed. Showers are OFTEN only a month before the wedding - I know mine was exactly 4 weeks prior (and I picked the date for mine since I had to fly in).
I wouldn't look at it as your sister putting her students BEFORE you, but the time should be convenient for her as well.
If there's really no reason why it can't be that date, I would just let it go.
04Bride
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
Thanks girls
nycchic_24
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
Hey girl,
I guess this is what the vent was??
I understand where your coming from but I must agree with some of others and say that a lot of showers are a month before the wedding. Mine was exactly. So dont worry about the other people, I think this is the norm.
In all honesty, I wouldnt say anything. You are not being selfish or acting like bridezilla but I know many girls who didnt even get a shower and your sister obviously loves you and cares about you enough to want to give you one. She also wants to make it at a time when she seems to be able to focus on it. I wouldnt stress it too much. No matter when it is, it will be wonderful.
This is just my honest opinion.
Sunny
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
I agree, I would just let it be. Mine was 9/7 and my wedding was 10/4.
bride2B04
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
HUmmmm i am not sure here i see both sides if you truly have things to do on all those weekends then you should let her know when you cant make it. I also see her trying to throw you off is a possible solution and completly UNDERSTAND about her job my Job is very important to me and even though i am planning MY wedding my Job comes first b/c without it i am not going to be able to have a wedding. I am not sure what to say here however my Future Mother In Law is brought up the point to me that she wants to have mine early b/c it gets in to more $$$ to close to the wedding but like someone else said these are things you plan for when you know someone is getting married. did i help at all?
04Bride
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
Yes Noreen that was the vent and a littel more that i didnt post.
Thanks you girls for you inputs i dont get affended or anythig iw ouldnt ask if I didntw ant some varing opinions. I totally undertsand that not everyone getrs a shower but my point is not anythgin taht has to do with me I am truely concerned about other people. It sounds crazy but throughout this whole planning FHG and i have considered our guests in everythign... the date of the wedding, the time etc.. Thanks girls!! Keep em coming!!
ChristineC68
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
Your guests know there will be a shower at some point, so when it is won't really matter.
And I honestly feel that the end of June is probably more convenient for people. There are a lot of family events that come up like communions, graduations, mother's day & memorial day which soak up a lot of the time from May - mid june, so the end of june seems like the perfect time to me.
It also gives your sister a chance to devote the time and attention she wants (and deserves) to your shower when she won't be pulled in 10 different directions.
Sage10.03
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
I wouldn't be worried about it at all....I think having a shower the month before is absolutely fine (timing wise) and wouldn't be an inconvenience to your guests...why would it be?
Along with her duties as your MOH and sister, she has to also think of her Job, and finding a balance could be difficult.
I wouldn't be annoyed at all, just the opposite infact. I would be glad that my sister wants to be so involved and would look at it as she is waiting until she has enough time to devote the kind of attention she wants to your shower....
I wouldn't worry at all....
04Bride
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
Thanks girls i am not annoyed at all i am just worried about my guests and so is my Fh in fact he is teh one who got even crazier abotu this than i did.
ChristineC68
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
That's sweet of you two but not necessary. When the time comes, enjoy your shower!!!
my shower was 6 weeks before the wedding...and the shower was June...wedding July...this is normal...
one thing that will make wedding planning a lot easier is to understand while everyone is happy for you...your wedding isn't the first thing on their mind...even your sister...we (and especially LIW women) become a bit obsessed about our wedding...which is fine...but then are a bit disappointed when everyone else is obsessed...
being a HS teacher...I know there are tons of work to do in June...and I don't think your sister is putting her students first...but trying to even out her stress...
04Bride
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
Right Thats exactly my point peopel have other things to do besides my wedding and shower especially in June and thats why I think its hard on people to do a LATE june shower and a july wedding. Thats exactly my point but I think somewhere in this post its been taken the wrong way. I totally understand my sister being busy I am a a teacher too but she is also not plannign it alone and late June is not good for my other MOH.
ChristineC68
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
So when do you want the shower?
I would let the MOH's work out the best date to plan your shower for. There is no good time for everyone so it's impossible to take everyone's schedule into consideration.
IMO, you really shouldn't worry about this. You only have to show up and be fabulous at your shower
04Bride
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
I think my problem cam off all wrong here i am tryiong to be anythign but selfisdh to my guests in this situation.My fh's and my bigest concern are the guests.
i know there is no PERFECT TIME but i think the dates that seem to be a bit more convienet shoudl be considered thast all.
Not t to mentio that liek i said before my other MOH doesnt want it in the end of june b/c thats no good for her.
Anyway thanks girls for all the feedback!!
Jenn P
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Re: Tell me if I am being a Bridezilla!!!!
I got married 7/27 and my shower was 6/30. As you can see from the general consenus, your sister's timetable is normal.
Are you truly busy every weekend day that month? If you tell your sister you're busy the entire month of June, she may push it even later.
Christine has a point-the last weekend in June is probably not a bad bet. Graduation parties are usually the weekend before (around 20-22nd) and Fourth of July follows so a lot of people will probably be open.
I realize it's not good for your other MOH, but they'll work that out between each other. Besides, people sacrifice. My aunt and uncle, who are my godparents and to whom I'm very close, told my MOH way in advance they would be away the last week of June. When did my shower happen? June 30th was a Saturday and they came home from their cruise that day. They made it but they had to rush like madmen: major changes in travel arrangements, no breakfast, etc., etc. People know when they become someone's MOH it's a duty, just like any other, and they do what they have to do.
