FH's parent (well his mom, mainly) has not does anything for the wedding she has no money hasn't helped us at all - in fact we have to pay for their hotel rooms don't get me started. Also his sister we had to pay for her dress.
Anyway the point is - i know we have to give his sister something since she is in the bridal party but i don't feel like giving his mom anything to tell u the truth.
The thing is my parents are helping with some stuff. So I'd like to get them soemthing
would it be bad to give his mom and my parents both something very small at the RD and give my parents a bigger gift say the day before or something?
I just don't want his mom to feel bad...
ETA: his father is not involved at all so he is getting nothing...
Christine N Ralph
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Re: Tell me if you think this is inappropriate
I dont think its inappropriate at all. My mom really helped us a lot with the wedding and we are going to get her somthing. I just dont think I am going to give it to her at the RD...I think I am going to give it to her privately
LaurenJosh
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Re: Tell me if you think this is inappropriate
I think that is totally fine and appropriate. His mom won't feel bad because you're not presenting the big gift to your parents in front of her. I'd probably do the same thing.
regy_k
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Re: Tell me if you think this is inappropriate
as I see it its ur FH's job to think about a gift for his mom. thats how I am handling it. I already told FH and my parents what we are paying for them as a thank u for coming and helping. FH didnt think about a present for his which is frankly his problem.
on a more important note: I think paying for her hotel and as I understand for other things seems like a present to me. present IMO doesnt have to be something tangible it can also be u paying for something for them, thats actually what I am giving my parents. and besides u dont HAVE to give anyone a present. its ur wedding, ppl should be giving presents to u (thats what I keep getting from anyone I ask lol)
heathery72
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Re: Tell me if you think this is inappropriate
I think that's fine. You want to recognize your parents for helping but aren't flaunting it in front of FILs.
GR2010
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Re: Tell me if you think this is inappropriate
I don't think that is inappropriate at all and really I think it is very nice of you to give your parents their gift separately so as not to hurt FMILs feelings!!
flibbertigibbet
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Re: Tell me if you think this is inappropriate
just me, but if you paid for his sister's dress.. i'd consider that her 'gift'. especially if you're not putting her to work so to speak.
i mean, i don't intend to have a full bridal party but if i was, i'd give each girl her gift individually with a handwritten note.
and i'd just choose not to give her a gift. if you do, you're extra generous.
as for fmil - you're paying for her room. so same thing. write a note saying thanks for being part of the day (and thank her for anything she eventually does help you with if this happens)
i mean -- if you got the money flowing do what you want. but ... lol, i wouldn't.
and if you guys decide that you will... let FH take care of it.
if you decide not to - definitely do things with his and your parents seperately as to avoid any drama llamas.
asg450
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Re: Tell me if you think this is inappropriate
I see nothing wrong with your idea, your parents are contributing and you would like to say thank you. Since his mom is not, you do not have to go out of your way to get her something grand.
Clover23
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Re: Tell me if you think this is inappropriate
not inappropriate!!!
MongieToBe
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Re: Tell me if you think this is inappropriate
I think that's perfectly fine!
Summertimegal424
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Re: Tell me if you think this is inappropriate
i think thats fine. we actually didn't give anything to DH parents, they didn't help out one bit, so i didn't think it was necessary to give them a gift, they getting albums is enough!
JAAMS
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Re: Tell me if you think this is inappropriate
I don't think it's inappropriate at all. My parents are giving us a TON of money for the wedding, and FHs are giving us a small bit...so I really only think it's fair to give the presents accordingly.
