Brides Helping Brides ™ - Thank you all so much.

springsandra Posted: Jun 18, 2009 08:11 AM

Thank you all so much.

I read everyone's wonderful, helpful, and supportive reponses, and I looked some more and am starting to feel a bit better.

I think I will send an email to the photographer just to explain to him my feeling about some of the shots being a bit less than flattering, and hopefully the same thing won't happen on the wedding day. It's funny but most of the time I'm photographed, I make sure to look a certain way so it doesn't end up like this, but I didn't do that here.

Thank you all for helping me see the forest for the trees. It's so easy to get hung up in insecurities and self-doubt. I really am such a happy person, I need to make sure that takes center stage.

springsandra
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That's incredible!!!

I think I'm gonna go home and work on my arms every night for a while. Why not, right? It can't hurt.

Thank you thank you thank you all -- you gals are the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!

LadyDuda81509 Posted: Jun 18, 2009 08:22 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

Honestly!! I think your E-pics came out REALLY good!!
I know its hard we all have issues with our bodies etc.
Its our wedding days and we wanna look our absolute best!! (ive been slacking with working out etc too)

you really shouldnt be so down on yourself! your FH loves you and is happy with you just the way you are!

you are a very pretty girl, you FH knows it and you should too!!!

Cheer up!

GT143EA Posted: Jun 18, 2009 08:23 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

First of all I just want to say that I just looked at your epics and I think they came out great! You are adorable and should not be feeling bad about yourself! Losing 40lbs is a huge accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself! And you do not look like a sack of potatoes! Stop being so hard on yourself!! I think you need to take some bpics to get that confidence back up!

Debrian2009 Posted: Jun 18, 2009 08:23 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

You have FM

Try to stay positive!

shell1879 Posted: Jun 18, 2009 08:25 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

hey hey hey
you look very pretty and you are not fat!!!!!
i am much bigger than you and i'm sure our e pics will look like crap
but yours are very nice.
stop beating yourself up they are all great pictures!!!

julesrbf Posted: Jun 18, 2009 08:26 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

Good morning sweetie.

I remember you posting the other day about not being 100% confident in your looks (which is something I have remembered you saying in the past), but that every time you remember how much your FH loves you, and the way he looks at you, you feel like the beautiful woman that you actually ARE.

I know it's easy to get down on our looks (when I saw 75% of my e-pics I was near tears because I thought my face looked so fat and hideous). But please keep in mind that a) as you've said, you've made a tremendous accomplishment in losting 40+ pounds (I wish I could say the same!) and b) that you are getting married to a man who sees you for exactly what you are - a beautiful, caring, compassionate and intelligent woman!

We are always our own worst critics and willing to see the worst in ourselves. But no one else sees the physicial flaws the way we see them. And if they DID, then they wouldn't be worth our time anyway.

You have so much to be happy and excited about. Don't let a few pictures taken at unflattering angles get you down. I know I've seen pictures of you in your dress, and every time I have, I note how absolutely GLOWING you are, and how you have a KICK A$$ hourglass shape that is super sexy, feminine and beautiful. Just remember these things!

We're all allowed a low-self esteem day here and there. But try to cheer up and remember all of the positives, just like you remind us all on a daily basis!

FM me if you would like to ...

MrsCastanedain09 Posted: Jun 18, 2009 08:34 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

Hey!
We're all going to tell you that you're beautiful....because you are....and honestly you're one of those rare people who are truly beautiful inside as well- and it even shines through your posts.

I can relate to how you feel, I think most of us can. Sometimes I look at photos and I think- that's what a bride should look like...I don't look like a bride. We all have those days.

You've lost 40 pounds- that's a huge accomplishment. I also have lost 60 from my highest weight and have gained back 15 since I started dating FH....pround to say I have lost 7 recently and would like to lost another 15 before the wedding. It's possible.

If you are unhappy with your e-pics, I would HATE to have you feel that way about your wedding photos. In the end, it's how YOU feel about them. You have a month till your wedding. You can easily tone tremendously in that time. You CAN do it- if you want to.

It's all up to you hon. You live in the Slope- Prospect Park has a boot camp group that meets in the mornings at 6 (I believe)- give it your 3 week best shot- if anything the endorphins and sweating out any toxins will be GREAT for your appearance and your esteem.

You're going to be a BEAUTIFUL Bride.

dazies1011 Posted: Jun 18, 2009 08:52 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

I think you look great, love the pics.
You have FM

gina409 Posted: Jun 18, 2009 08:59 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

im not even going to go back and look at ur epics

i have no doubt in my mind what a beautiufl person you are,and i am confident in saying that never meeting you,just because of your posts

you have beauty on the outside as well as the in and if u did not u would not have a man who loves you as much as fh does and who wants to marry you just as you are..which is beautiful

we all have those days wjere we feel not so hot but always remember true beauty really does come from the inside..it can radiate through ur face..thats why a biotchy girl who may be pretty can turn into the ugliest thing u have ever seen

im sorry u dont like ur pics,they really are great and all i can say to u is what really makes them beautiufl is the look of love in urs and fh's eyes

hope u feel better and u can fm me anytime u want to talk

chicky724 Posted: Jun 18, 2009 09:26 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

I felt the same way when I saw a lot of my shower pics… UGH! Esp the ones where I was opening presents and looking down – I look like I have 17 chins! Hardcore dieting start Monday.

ELluvsMB Posted: Jun 18, 2009 09:32 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

Honestly after reading what you posted and before clicking on the link i was expecting to see someone totally different!! You look AMAZING the pics really do look great in all honesty. I think you are putting a lot more pressure on yourself then you need to. But to be honest I know how you feel. I've gained a little weight since the wedding and I don't feel great about myself. But I had a great workout at the gym yesterday and I feel so much better today....I'm sure I look the same but in my head I feel better. Maybe try and get a few good workouts in a week to boost the confidence.

Im a Pepper Posted: Jun 18, 2009 09:44 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

Oh my goodness, look at how much he adores you. It makes me want to cry - a happy cry, of course! You're a beautiful girl. You're so full of life and energy - you can tell just by looking at your photos. FH loves you JUST the way you are but, of course, you have to love yourself.

I think every girl looks in the mirror and overanalyzes every last part of her body. You've lost so much weight already - you know what you can achieve! I think the first step for any girl is learning to appreciate yourself as you are now and then you can move forward and make the changes you want to make. I know, for myself, that hating the way I look doesn't help me change it. If anything, it makes me less motivated. It's hard to do but I try to look at it from a different perspective - love who you are inside and out and know that you can do whatever you want to do for yourself and your body. You've already done so much!

For me, changing my core structure takes a ton of discipline that I don't always have - eating right and LOTS of cardio and exercise. Some days it works for me and some days I lose my mojo. But if you have a goal and keep it, you know that you can achieve it! You're gorgeous! And your photos are amazing!

edited for spelling

CandB4604 Posted: Jun 18, 2009 09:44 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

Hey there,

I've been sorta having a blah week like you are and I completely agree with what everyone has been saying to you above. So, I'm not going to repeat it, just because I want to go a different angle to give you something else to think about.

I have big boobs (34D/DD on a 5'0 frame, ugh.) and I have bigger arms, but a much smaller waist... so there are SO many times when my friends wear these like.. 70's style 'straight' dresses and look so cute in them! So I'll go to the store and try them on and my big boobs with the big arms and waist covered makes me looks like an umpa-lumpa (from Willy Wonka).

And it's just so hard on this freakin' short body to feel thin if I'm more of a curvy gal as it is.

So then, I will go to another dress where it has a slight sweatheart, goes in and tight at the waist, and drops to right in the middle of my knee and poof! I'm a girl again.

So my point is this, you DO look great and CONGRATS on the 40+lbs!!! If you don't mind my saying, I want you to go to a store, and find the most flattering shaped dress/outfit and either buy it if you need more clothes, or buy a cute big fun belt to wrap around a long shirt or dress... this will re-do the image you have in your head of yourself. THERE SHOULD ALWAYS be something you can know that brings you 'back' to remembering how beautiful you are!!

I hope this helped and I hope I made sense! (I haven't had my coffee yet today, haha)

MikesBride2B Posted: Jun 18, 2009 09:48 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

Sandra you and your pics are BEAUTIFUL!!!! Everyone has their own insecurities, and honestly sometimes I feel as if its a symptom of an LDR...you don't constantly have someone around telling you how beautiful you are so you forget. Tell me you don't feel like the most beautiful girl in the world when you look into FH's eyes!!!

Maybe it would help if you looked at a pic from before you lost the weight to remind yourself how far you've come?? I am here if you want to talk about ANYTHING

littlepixie12 Posted: Jun 18, 2009 09:58 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

WOW.. honestly, and Im not just saying this to be nice, you came out really good in your epics!! You arent fat!! I just dont see your body image persception in those pics.. you look really pretty in them!! Not fat at all!!!

If you are serious about losing weight ( i dont think you should lose that much) try weight watchers.. it worked for me and its healthy so you wont be hurting yourself with that diet and its also gradual too.

MLAngelo Posted: Jun 18, 2009 10:01 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

OK first of all, your e-pics look beautiful. I have met you and I think they capture your sweet and fun personality and like you said the love between you. I think you look beautiful in them.

But I know what is like to look at a photo and be upset with yourself. I hate my photos from the day after our engagement, the only memories I have of the day, I was at one of my heaviest weights in years and bloated. No matter what people tell me I will never be happy with them. I also hate a few of my e-pics because of a weird ugly, deeply creased line that recently started appearing under my nose when I smile. He took beautiful close ups of me and every one has that stupid line. No matter what people tell me I won't change my opinion. So we can all tell you your crazy and that you look beautiful all we want, I know you have formed your opinion.

Here is my suggestion... talk to your photographer about the ones you hate. Make it clear its not his photography but the angle your standing at. This way he will make a conscious effort not to pose you that way at the wedding. You still have a month so keep doing what your doing to lose weight. You can do a lot in a month. If you hate your arms, do some arm exercises, bicep curls, tricep curls, rows. I wish you lived out here, I would drag you to Tues/Thurs classes with me at my gym (mainly so we could hang out because I loved hanging out with you.) I find just making the attempt and knowing I am trying boosts my confidence and self esteem. And please remember 40+ lbs is a great accomplishment.

Most importantly... you are an absolute sweetheart and that is why FH loves you. That is what is important.

tinadansr Posted: Jun 18, 2009 10:01 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

I thinkyou look really nice in your epics
Don't be to critical of yourself!

JamDancer Posted: Jun 18, 2009 10:15 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

Ok, most people said this, and this probably sounds cheesy, but honestly in your pics you have this inner beauty radiance just coming out of you! You look truly happy and in love!

We all are our own worst critic- there are things I am very critical and self-conscious about too, as I'm sure we all are.

I would suggest though, to try to exercise from now until your wedding. Not even for the physical benefit- it really does wonders for your mind and self-confidence. And if you drop a few extra pounds- bonus!

meg922 Posted: Jun 18, 2009 10:15 AM

Re: Got our ephotos and now I feel more ugly and fat than ever

I think your pics look fantastic, but the only thing that matters is what you think.

Have you tried talking to your photographer about what you like and what you don't like about your epics? He may be able to pose you differently or use different lighting to achieve the look you want.

Also, try opening up the photos and look at each one for no more than 10 seconds and see how you like them. If I scrutinize my photos I see every roll and muffin top, but when I look at them more from a distance, so to speak, I can appreciate the overall feel.