thank you card - lots of opinions needed

I have mentioned a few times about a 'friend' who no-gifted us.

For the shower she never RSVP'd & my sister had to track her down. Her answer, 'Of course I will be there & let your mom know I will arrive early to help her.' She arrived to the shower just in a nick of time. My mom was ready to ask her to leave because she showed up to the place literally seconds before I walked in. Then she had to leave before dinner was even served because she lives in NJ. Meanwhile I have other family & friends who live in NJ & stayed until the end. She made a big stink about opening her shower gift & it was a bag of crap. It had two kitchen dish towels, a pack of mini photo albums & those yellow scrubing gloves. Her excuss, 'I thought there was a wishing well.' (my sister told her no wishing well) Then she said, she would send us a registry gift. Never received one.
I let it slide & said, well thats how she is.
For the wedding:
She was suppose to do a reading at Church & didn't make it on time. (she is listed in the program & its on the video of the priest calling her to the alter & nothing happening.) I was mortified. To top it off she didn't even stay to see the ceremony from the time she arrived. Btw: she called me 2 hours before the ceremony during my pictures talking my ear off about how excited she was about the wedding, etc.

She was sending me apologizing texts & leaving me voicemails while we where taking our pictures. One of the messages says, 'I really do not now why you are ignoring me.' HELLO, its my wedding day & I am taking pictures.
Then when we arrived at the hall she was waiting outside, wanting to talk about it. I just brushed her off because I didn't want anything to ruin our day.
Then we come to find out that she left the reception early because she had to go back to NJ & she no-gifted us.

Its really not about the crap or lack of gifts but she could have given a nice card & made it on time to the Church. I have not heard from her since that night.

I do not want to send her a thank you card because I have nothing to thank her for. I realize that by not sending her a thank you card it means our 'friendship' is over. My sister thinks I should call her & see if she has any explanation.

What do you ladies think??? TIA

Wow- I can’t believe she was missed doing her reading- that’s insanity. I don’t know if I would call her-I think it’s really her place to call you. After all, she’s the one who messed up. And I would NOT send her a thank you card.

oo this is a tough call.. clearly she sounds like not a good friend! Seriously you don't need ppl in your life like that.. did you say anything to her about the reading??

Personally since I hate confrontation I would probably write her a thank you but literally just put in there...
Thanks for sharing our special day. Regards, (and not talk to her from here on out)

Like a one liner.. like getting the hint you know. I can't believe she texted you the day of why are you ignorning me! UM no bride has time for that NONSENSE! ughh the nerve.

i'm not sure the thank you card is the issue. even if you send it to her, it will probably be insincere and she'll sense that.

the best thing may be to talk to her. i personally hate confrontation but i also need to discuss my grievances.

ETA: i just wanted to add that you should only talk to her if ti would help YOU. the girl deserves to know she's a POS. she doesn't deserve anything else from you...including a thank you card.

Honestly, she sounds like a selfish brat. Who EXPECTS a bride to answer her phone on her wedding day?! That's insane.

She obviously doesn't realize how she treats people. That's evident in her not caring to be places on time. She just doesn't care, but wants everyone to think she does by making false promises. By doing that, she's dug her own grave because she always lets you and others down.

This is not a friend. You're probably close, but not close enough to make her a BM (thank goodness because she would have been late and held up your entire day!). I see that she was a reader, but obviously that didn't mean anything to her.

Give it up. NO thank you card, NO nothing.

If she decides to confront you about it, refer to your OP and read it word for word.

I wouldnt send her anything. In fact - if I were you Id be done. Forget about the gifts and the calls .. she missed her place at your wedding ceremony.

DEAL BREAKER. Thats not a friend. You dont need people like that in your life.

Sorry youre going through this - you are better off without her.

I'm sorry, I don't want to be insulting or offensive, but I do not see a friendship there. You do not have to be from ny or watch wedding shows to understand that u should not act like that on somebodys wedding day.

Who does she think she is that ur gonna stop everything and chat it up and get upset on the day of ur wedding. She shoudl never have made a commitment to u if she could not keep it.

I'm so sorry that this has happened to u. IMO, she is not a friend and if she ever recieves anything from me, it would be a phonecall/house visit explaining how upset she made me and how much of a POS she is and how we are no longer friends.

HTH

ordinarily I'd say you ALWAYS send a thank you card, even if someone no gifted you..but in this case...

Hellllll Freaking NO! honestly, she was supposed to do a reading and missed it? no..no no no.

and she tried to make YOUR wedding all about her.

Cut this biatch off and never look back.

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Posted by StaceyWill

Wow- I can’t believe she was missed doing her reading- that’s insanity. I don’t know if I would call her-I think it’s really her place to call you. After all, she’s the one who messed up. And I would NOT send her a thank you card.

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I totally agree!!! She has some nerve!!