thanks all!

thanks all!

removed-thanks all!

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

This is a touchy subject. I personally wouldn't have my wedding anywhere near another family member's. Think about how you would feel if someone did this to you. Even though the date you chose has a special meaning, maybe you should reconsider and choose a date that's just going to remind you of the happy memory of getting married. If I chose a date of someone who had passed away, I think I would spend most of the day being sad thinking about that person. Good luck deciding.

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

i know! i wouldn't want to tread in those waters... at the same time...my grandmother suggested we use the day... at first it was sort of a bittersweet thing, but then it really grew on me!

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

this is really tough! especially since you haven't ANNOUNCED IT YET!!!! and the fact that it's a WEEK BEFORE... so it's like in some ways could be seen as 'taking their thunder' I think that the best thing to do (if you are REALLY INTO HAVING THIS DATE) is talk to the bride and groom and really get their feelings on it...... before mentioning anything to the family

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

IMO, you are inconviencing your family by doing that... Yes, it sux that this happened, but you kinda have to be flexible now.... Thats alot of $$ for family to be paying out at one shot... And think of thoe OOTers that cant be flying back n forth in that time span...

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

Also, you wouldn't be able to go on your honeymoon right away without missing their wedding.

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

i guess it's one of those things that stinks but you deal with it and move on.... now it's a matter of - i don't want to announce a date that's too close, but we already agreed that we want to get married in the summer season. i guess we have to entertain the idea of waiting until the following year or sucking it up and having it later in the year. either way, it's an undesirable decision that has to be made.

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

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Posted by bonnieanneryan

i guess it's one of those things that stinks but you deal with it and move on.... now it's a matter of - i don't want to announce a date that's too close, but we already agreed that we want to get married in the summer season. i guess we have to entertain the idea of waiting until the following year or sucking it up and having it later in the year. either way, it's an undesirable decision that has to be made.

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Never never wait!!! I would be fuming if that happened and kickin myself in the asss

I really think you should talk to the b&g first and see what they say... Not like they should eb the decision makers but if they OK with u having it earlier then you wouldnt even have to think about the year after! I def dot think you should change the year unless its for personal/financial reasons... Dont do it just b/c they are gettin married that year!

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

I agree with Mazz, I wouldn't change the year, maybe wait a few months, but i don't see the need to but it off that much.

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

that's really good advice... but maybe i shouldn't even mention it to save the risk of them stressing, worrying, or even feeling guilty... i'm thinking... what they'll never know won't hurt them and fh and I will just go back to the drawing board. what do you think?

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

is there anyway you could get married that day this year? or push it back to 2010?

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

i think this year may be too soon.. FH's first reaction when i just asked was to keep the date and push it forward one year to 2010. i must say, i'm a little disappointed, but life goes on....

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Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

i think you're totally right. and in that case, we could consider having a late fall/early winter wedding in 09 (and not change the year) or the summer of 2010. i guess since our hearts were set on summer, we should wait. but maybe i should sleep on it and see how i feel tomorrow.

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

What about a May or June 09 wedding????

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Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

I would just call up the b&g to congratulate them, and while your on the phone just mention how you were also planning your wedding for the summer of 09, and that you had a date in mind but you don't mind switchin it now...just so they know where you are. I wouldn't change the time of year OR year you wanted to get married just because they announced it first...I don't think thats fair at all..just like you wouldn't expect them to change their life-plans because you wanted to get married at that time. I agree that having it so close is bad idea, just because of what other ladies said - too much for fams, honeymoons..etc... But I don;t see why you can't both have a wedding in the summer of the same year..

Re: need advice! wedding date & family etiquette

I would talk to FH brother in law and see how they feel. I am leaning towards telling you to just keep your date since it is meaningful and if it is your FH brother in law he is a little different then immediate family.