Brides Helping Brides ™ - Thanks ladies!

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Nov 04, 2009 09:59 AM

Thanks ladies!

I feel a lot better...you've all really eased my mind

I wrote her, she hasn't responded. The ball is in her court. I need to do ME and worry about MY happiness and my relationship with FH. I feel really good about things between us and this is a new leaf, so to speak.

I involved her too much, that was my fault. But if she truly cares, she'll understand where I am coming from.

Soon2bShea Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:02 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

aww! sorry you are going through that! its really unfair for your friend to say those things to you. i think its awesome you and FH are working out any issues you have. screw what anyone else thinks and do whats best for you!

GiannisWifey Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:03 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

I kind of had a similar situation with a 'friend' a long time ago....

you have to do what is right for YOU. there are so many people out there who don't realize what they say and do and don't realize their actions and words can hurt.

You and FH need to work on thigns and if she disagrees, so be it. It is not HER life or HER relationship, it is yours.

Stay strong hunny and remember, every relationship takes work sometimes and we all go through our little rought times with FH. Stay stong and just remember what has brought you guys this far, LOVE!

We are all here for you hunny!

StaceyWill Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:04 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

First off-
And second-it's awesome that you and FH are working things out-everyone goes through ups and downs and highs and lows. And I totally disagree with people who say that you shouldn't have to work so hard, etc...Life is work, relationships are work, they just are.
If she's truly your BFF, she will be there for you whatever decisions you make. I hope everything is better very soon!!!

christine2010 Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:04 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

this is really a tough situation. i think the best thing to do is for you & your FH to work things out how its best for you.

AngnShaun Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:04 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

I'm sorry that you are going thru this now... but i completely agree with you... and i think it takes more courage to work on a relationship... its so easy to leave and it such a cop-out... did she respond to you?

AdriandSteve Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:05 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

It's not cool what she did. Yeah as a friend you want to be open and honest about how she feels about your relationship with FH. But once that's said and done all she can and should do is support you and stand by you. She doesn't have to agree with you but she should respect your decision.

StellaStar13 Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:07 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

I'm sorry to hear that you are dealing w/both of these situations. That must be REALLY emotionally draining It sounds like you have a great head on your shoulders and a good plan in handling this 'bump' (which we all have) w/FH. I concur w/what you are saying that you cant follow anyone elses 'rules'. Stay strong focus on YOU and FH. If she really is a BFF, she will come around and respect your choices as long as you arent putting yourself in any physical or emotional danger.

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:08 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

Posted by AngnShaun

I'm sorry that you are going thru this now... but i completely agree with you... and i think it takes more courage to work on a relationship... its so easy to leave and it such a cop-out... did she respond to you?

She hasn't responded yet.

MrsDrinkh20 Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:09 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

just wanted to send hugs heather...youre right..you need to do what you need to do and feel is right...let me know if you need anything!

soontobecruz Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:09 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

Well it seems she is practicing what she preaches. Which is SAD! and NOT RIGHT... she said she wants you to run and have FH chase you... she is running and wants you to chase her... I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. As hard as it seems bc she is a 'friend' she certainly isnt acting like one.

You said your self she is the type to still play games and not have a real relationship... wel then she doesn't know what its like to be in a REAL RELATIONSHIP. You do have to work at it, you can't run, and there will be ups and downs. I am sure you adn your FH will work everything out. As far as your friend... try to let it go for now. DON'T chase her... thats what she wants.

Finally sadly take it as a lesson learned. OFten times our 'friends' are not who we think they are..

Hang in there hun, it will all work out

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:10 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

Posted by AdriandSteve

It's not cool what she did. Yeah as a friend you want to be open and honest about how she feels about your relationship with FH. But once that's said and done all she can and should do is support you and stand by you. She doesn't have to agree with you but she should respect your decision.

Thank you! That is how I see it, and thats how I am as a friend.

She only sees MY side in this. She thinks I am an angel but there's definitely things I've done that have contributed to our issues, but she won't see that. She's making it out that FH needs to 'win' me back. Well, I also have some 'winning' to for FH, its a 2-way street.

AngnShaun Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:12 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

Posted by mrsdraskin2009

Posted by AdriandSteve

It's not cool what she did. Yeah as a friend you want to be open and honest about how she feels about your relationship with FH. But once that's said and done all she can and should do is support you and stand by you. She doesn't have to agree with you but she should respect your decision.

Thank you! That is how I see it, and thats how I am as a friend.

She only sees MY side in this. She thinks I am an angel but there's definitely things I've done that have contributed to our issues, but she won't see that. She's making it out that FH needs to 'win' me back. Well, I also have some 'winning' to for FH, its a 2-way street.

so really shes being, almost, too loyal... which is also not helping in situation where you need unbiased advice.

MrsHazel2B Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:12 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

Sorry you're going thru this..but you know what? All good relationships have rough patches and when you love someone, you work hard to make it work. I went through the same thing with my BF and you know what I did? I stopped telling her stuff. Nothing bad anyway...yes you need an ear to vent to but not at the expense of her second guessing your decisions. I don't tell my BF about any of the arguments we have anymore, this way, we can avoid her calling me 'crazy' for working things out.

RGEC47 Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:15 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

A relationship is never easy and only people who are in a serious relationship (like all of us) can relate to you. Concentrate on your relationship with FH and work on that as much as you both want to. No one lives your life so you can not be expected to live someone else's. Good luck and like you said, you are just going through a rough patch, It will pass!!!

Iluvpoodles Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:18 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

Your relationship with him is really none of her concern. Yes, if you were in a bad one I could see her giving advice but she has to know that, that's all she can do, then step back. I personally don't like one of my friends BF's for a variety of reasons. I listen to her go on and on all the while I keep to myself what I feel about him and anyone who heard what he's about would, but I don't say anything negative about their relationship. I can't control who she's with. If your friend is going to give you an ultaminatum then maybe it's time to let this friendship go. Also, doesn't she know all relationships take work. If that's her mindset to just throw in the towel whenever something doesn't work out it looks like she'll be living at home the rest of her life.

Golden Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:20 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

Sorry that you have to go through this. Everything will work out with FH because that's what relationship and marriage is all about; communicating and CHOOSING to stay when it's so easy to just leave.

In re: to your BFF. She took your pain and personalized it and that's what friends do but she has to learn to let you make your own decisions when it comes to love. One thing my mom told me when I told her I was engaged was to find some married friends because my single friends and I are going to be in two different worlds. So, keep your BFF but maybe next time, keep your vent to yourself or vent to a married friend.

It'll work out honey! Stay positive. Praying for you!

Dawa Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:23 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

relationships ARE hard work....and if you want it to work it can take a lot of time, energy, and tears. you know what you have to do to make the 2 of your right, don't let anyone else opinions get in the way or cloud your judgment!

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:23 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

Posted by soontobebanny

So, keep your BFF but maybe next time, keep your vent to yourself or vent to a married friend.

Yeah, I feel foolish for opening up and venting when she really can't relate. I just didn't expect her to throw it in my face. I still always talk to her every day, have 'date nights' with her so she can't say I'm never around for her.

AdriandSteve Posted: Nov 04, 2009 10:26 AM

Re: Really sad friend situation..

Posted by AngnShaun

Posted by mrsdraskin2009

Posted by AdriandSteve

It's not cool what she did. Yeah as a friend you want to be open and honest about how she feels about your relationship with FH. But once that's said and done all she can and should do is support you and stand by you. She doesn't have to agree with you but she should respect your decision.

Thank you! That is how I see it, and thats how I am as a friend.

She only sees MY side in this. She thinks I am an angel but there's definitely things I've done that have contributed to our issues, but she won't see that. She's making it out that FH needs to 'win' me back. Well, I also have some 'winning' to for FH, its a 2-way street.

so really shes being, almost, too loyal... which is also not helping in situation where you need unbiased advice.

Maybe she just needs to realize that once that ring is on your finger games are done. He doesn't have to chase you.. he has you. (You know what I mean). I feel like it's different if it's a bf or just dating.