i have a question - is it rude to not let single people bring a guest to your wedding?
I am starting to freak out about the size of the guest list - it's getting out of hand and we just cannot afford to have everyone who is on the list actually come to the wedding!
is it rude to not put 'and guest' on the invites to single people?
thanks!
branflake1229
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
I was going to have everyone bring a guest because mostly everyone I'm inviting is already in a serious relationship or is married, so it was very few people, such as cousins, who would be the single ones. But I'm going to my cousin's wedding this weekend, and my sister (17) was not invited to bring a guest. So I'm either going to have 18 or 21 as the cutoff age to bring a guest, or do as someone else suggested and only add a guest if they're in a serious relationship. Even though there are only a handful of 'single' cousins, it does add up very quickly.
MrsDtoBe09
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
Honestly I think it puts your guests in an uncomfortable position... they're adults. I feel like, at least for me, I really like everyone I'm inviting to the wedding and wouldnt want to make them feel awkward.
VickiR510
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
Thamk goodness everyone we are inviting we have known for years & have been apart of our relationship in some way. We love our guests & for the people who are not married or engaged they are invited with guests but most of all of them we know & arefriends with as well.
I say you have to do what you have to do. If its a matter of money then its all your decision. Wedddings are expensive & you have the right to do what you wish!
CMBove
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
people are getting a guest no matter what if they are in the bridal party--actually all will be married on the boys side; my girls though will not likely be married and I want them to have fun! I am hoping some of them find great guys
Other guests if they are in a serous relationship, otherwise no.
CandB4604
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
I'm only inviting a guest with my bridesmaids. All other single friends can hang out with all our other friends. I dont' have the space or money to invite strangers to my wedding, but I think my bridesmaids should have a date.
PoppedInASnap
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
Posted by little34
whether it is rude or not I don't know...but we are not inviting everyone with a guest....we have a rule that unless someone is with a person for a significant amount of time then they won't get 'and guest'. we have to keep our list under 119 so unless they are in a serious relationship they are not getting and guest.
We're doing that as well. I have cousins who have a new girl/boyfriend every week...if they cant s*ck it up and have fun with family rather than their new 4 week old relationship thats their problem. Sorry to sound so mad but i just got into an argument about it as well...esp when you have a cousin who makes it his business to break up with a girl after he...you know...
KimiDanny1010
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
I don't think it is rude as long as the person you are inviting knows other people at the wedding...then they can mingle with everyone ...
Future Mrs Roo
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
not invited with unless its a SERIOUS realtionship for family members. coworkers and friends are invited with guests.
Jsquared279
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
I think the best way to handle this situation is to make a 'rule' and stick to it no matter what. For example, FH and I made a rule that there are no children under 16 and that someone will only be asked to bring a guest if they are married to, living with or engaged to, or in a seriously relationship with that guest. So therefore our 'single' friends are not going to be asked to bring a guest. I know it stinks but everyone can't bring a guest it is just too expensive. Also if you have all single people bring a guest sometimes they just end up bringing a friend of theirs and it is likely someone you may not even know. And at $125 a plate who wants to do that?! I don't think it is rude at all. We also explained our rule to those who we thought it might bother! Everyone seems to be understanding so far! HTH!
TheLadyJ
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
I am trying to invite everyone with a guest. The only exception is older aunts and uncles who have never been married and are not dating.
I am, however, passing the word around to my single guy and girl friends (whom all know eachother) that it would be greatly appreciated if they went with eachother. 4 of them have already agreed to be eachother's dates if they are not in relationships at wedding time. And others have said they don't care if they have a guest.
So, just be honest with people. But in general I dislike going to weddings without a date, so I wouldn't want to do that to my friends.
littlepixie12
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
i dont think so, do the guests that arent allowed to bring a gues part of a group, like do they work together, so maybe they can sit togehter?
little34
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
Posted by Espo22
also keep in mind that alot of single people who know others at the wedding will come alone, especially single guys hahaha.
We did send all our single guests 'and guest' and let me say that that most of our single friends came alone regardless. Many of them knew other people at the wedding so i guess they felt comfortable coming alone and knew they'd be sitting with friends. Some single friends who knew eachother drove together so worked out for them.
When i was single i never went to a wedding alone BUT i would've if i knew other ppl there and knew i was sitting with friends. If i didnt know anybody i probably would feel awkward. I recently had to go to a shower where i didnt know anybody just the person it was for but of course theyre busy. I did feel a bit uncomfortable, especially since i sat with ppl who knew eachother so they kept talking to eachother.
do you think your single friends would bring somebody just to bring a date or do you think they'd come alone. Most ppl i guessed ahead of time that they would come alone even if i put and guest and i was right with everyone i guessed it about.
I agree....I would invite someone with a guest if they knew NO ONE at my wedding...that way they are comfy....but for those who know everyone and or family I am not inviting with guest unless they have a significant relationship
