i have a question - is it rude to not let single people bring a guest to your wedding?
I am starting to freak out about the size of the guest list - it's getting out of hand and we just cannot afford to have everyone who is on the list actually come to the wedding!
is it rude to not put 'and guest' on the invites to single people?
thanks!
little34
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
whether it is rude or not I don't know...but we are not inviting everyone with a guest....we have a rule that unless someone is with a person for a significant amount of time then they won't get 'and guest'. we have to keep our list under 119 so unless they are in a serious relationship they are not getting and guest.
StefPalma
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
that makes me feel so much better! my FH and my mother are telling me it's not rude at all and that we shouldn't be inviting people with a guest unless they are in a serious relationship and i tend to agree with them but one of my bridesmaids said that i should invite people with guest (she also isn't paying for the wedding!) so i got nervous
thanks for your help - i think that' what we're going to do!
cherish83
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At first we were inviting EVERYONE with a guest.. and our numbers were getting out of hand.... So what we did is if we don't know there significant other (like the JUST started dating), the dont get a guest... If we know their date, we would allow it... You have to do what you have to do to keep the guest list under control
iYexie
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
Posted by little34
whether it is rude or not I don't know...but we are not inviting everyone with a guest....we have a rule that unless someone is with a person for a significant amount of time then they won't get 'and guest'. we have to keep our list under 119 so unless they are in a serious relationship they are not getting and guest.
i agree 100%...... we're doing the same thing. FH & I are not inviting people we don't know. i don't think is rude @ all. (JMO)
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
We are inviting everyone with a guest. We had the space to do it and I just think it is a nice thing to do. I have a friend who isn't really seeing anybody and she is always invited to weddings alone and it really stinks for her because when everyone is up and dancing together she is usually alone. I dont think it is a MUST to do, but if it can be done i think it is nice.
jenniferd
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This was a good question. I was wondering this myself.
StefPalma
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
thank you everyone for your help!
i would absolutely love to invite everyone 'and guest'. i really wish we could. but our guest list is getting out of control and if we took out the 'and guests' it would be much more manageable AND more affordable. i do feel badly about inviting people without a guest, but i also cant afford to have everyone bring a date
thank you girls - you made me feel so much better
kostena
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
Posted by little34
whether it is rude or not I don't know...but we are not inviting everyone with a guest....we have a rule that unless someone is with a person for a significant amount of time then they won't get 'and guest'. we have to keep our list under 119 so unless they are in a serious relationship they are not getting and guest.
I agree!! FH has a lot of single friends that have new girls every weekend. What do i care if they are at my eng party or wedding?
Lisa218
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
I am glad you asked this question because i was starting to wonder the same thing. my guest list is big enough. If i can fit more people then I will invite them with a guest, if not.. no way. I mean, all of my BM's will be invited with a guest but everyone else.. i don't know. Depends on how serious they are
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
Posted by StefPalma
thank you everyone for your help!
i would absolutely love to invite everyone 'and guest'. i really wish we could. but our guest list is getting out of control and if we took out the 'and guests' it would be much more manageable AND more affordable. i do feel badly about inviting people without a guest, but i also cant afford to have everyone bring a date
thank you girls - you made me feel so much better
definitely understandable..you di what you can and people absolutely understand and will be happy to be at your wedding either way!
Renee77
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
Posted by MrsDrinkh20
We are inviting everyone with a guest. We had the space to do it and I just think it is a nice thing to do. I have a friend who isn't really seeing anybody and she is always invited to weddings alone and it really stinks for her because when everyone is up and dancing together she is usually alone. I dont think it is a MUST to do, but if it can be done i think it is nice.
I have to agree. When I was single, I was invited to a few weddings without a guest and I was at least 24 or 25 at the time and I have to say I was insulted. For one wedding, I was seeing someone for a few months but, I was not invited with a guest because I didn't meet the 1 year ruling. I felt this was very unfair (I was even in the bridal party). I understand people have guest limits but, they could have made a bridal party rule to avoid insulting anyone else who didn't meet the 1 year rule. I am keeping this in mind and I am definitely inviting singles with a guest if they're over a certain age.
JMO
Sweeteey51
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
Budget is important. But i think if i was single and invited to a wedding alone, i would send a gift but i wouldnt go personally. Its would be lonely and awkard. However, If the person that is coming alone knows some of your family or knows other people attending then thats okay just sit them at the same table. That way they wont be alone. Just a thought.
Espo22
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
also keep in mind that alot of single people who know others at the wedding will come alone, especially single guys hahaha.
We did send all our single guests 'and guest' and let me say that that most of our single friends came alone regardless. Many of them knew other people at the wedding so i guess they felt comfortable coming alone and knew they'd be sitting with friends. Some single friends who knew eachother drove together so worked out for them.
When i was single i never went to a wedding alone BUT i would've if i knew other ppl there and knew i was sitting with friends. If i didnt know anybody i probably would feel awkward. I recently had to go to a shower where i didnt know anybody just the person it was for but of course theyre busy. I did feel a bit uncomfortable, especially since i sat with ppl who knew eachother so they kept talking to eachother.
do you think your single friends would bring somebody just to bring a date or do you think they'd come alone. Most ppl i guessed ahead of time that they would come alone even if i put and guest and i was right with everyone i guessed it about.
JoesFutureWife
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
Just from my own experience, we invited every single person with a guest and the guest list blew out of control. We ended up inviting 296 people and so many of them didnt bring guests that we automatically lost 50 people off of the list cause so many people decided to go stag. It's totally up to you. The only problem you may run into is if there are siblings and you invite one with a guest and not the other but i wouldnt worry too much.
StefPalma
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the thing i am worried most about is that i think my single friends would not bring a date just to bring one, but suppose they do? and suppose they bring someone that ends up causing a scene or someone i hate?
i honestly think that my single friends won't bring dates, but there is that nervousness that suppose i invite everyone with a date and they all bring one?
thanks so much for all of your help girls. i really appreciate it!
We are inviting everyone with a guest. We had the space to do it and I just think it is a nice thing to do. I have a friend who isn't really seeing anybody and she is always invited to weddings alone and it really stinks for her because when everyone is up and dancing together she is usually alone. I dont think it is a MUST to do, but if it can be done i think it is nice.
I am doing the same and I agree with you lauren. it is hard because we are paying for everything ourselves and of course if you cant afford to do it you cant do it but if you can possibly make it work try to....I just think it ***** to be single at a wedding of all places....but if the budget and space does not allow..make sure there is a group of singles together or at least sitting with people they no as to not make them feel uncomfortable.
dazies1011
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
Im inviting everyone with a guest because we have the room to do so but, I have been to weddings where people arent invited with a guest and some where dating someone , to me that is rude. If they are single I see no problem with it.
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
Everyone on our list is getting to bring a guest. We're a smaller wedding as it is, so we need to make the minimum
beram63
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Re: the 'and guest' dilemma
we're only inviting guests for people who have an established significant other. guests who aren't in a long-term relationship will have to accept that they're coming to the wedding alone. sorry, but the cost pp for weddings is too high for me to start buying dinner for strangers.
