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The ex factor please give me your opinion

Lee31200 Posted:

The ex factor please give me your opinion

hi! I need your help with something. So my fiance's twin sister just got her wedding video back from when she got married a couple of months ago. The video is great execpt for one part. At the begining when there are all pictures of them growing up is a picture of my fiance who was my fiance at the time of the wedding, his sister, her now husband and my fiance's ex girlfriend of like three years. I thought that me and his sister were getting really close and i had always said she would be in my wedding party but now i feel like crap. I just don't understand why she would put that picture in there. Am i over reacting?

The Original 2nd-time-around Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

I'm so sorry

That would bother me too

Jordan Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

Maybe she liked the pic and the memory that it evoked - since it was about her and her fiance and their memories? I wouldn't let it bother me, personally, that was in the past.

Sunny Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

That stinks! It would bother me, too.

KathleenG Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

That would absolutely bother me!!! She used poor judgement. It is something I would definitely never do, but some people are kind of dense that way. She may have absolutely no idea of what she did!! I feel for you though, that sort of thing would make my blood boil, I am not good with exes!!
NovBride Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

I don't think you are overreacting. It was unexpected. Something similiar just happened to one of my friends too. Her FH's brother is getting married and his fiance put a photo album together for her shower to show them through he years and in the album was a picture of her FH and his ex-girlfriend. She was very upset too.

I agree that it is upsetting, but she was probably just thinking about the video and not your feelings at the time. I personally think it is rude and tacky. Before you x her out of the wedding party you may want to speak with her about it. It might just be one of her favorite pics of her and her brother.

Sorry you are so upset.

smooch Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

i am close with my exes. i am not bothered by DH's exes. but to see a pic of an ex in a wedding video, well, the poor taste of his sister would really bother me.

if she really loved the pic, she could have approached you first to see how comfortable you would be.

i know, it is HER video, but it would be the nice thing to do.
Lee31200 Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

I honeslty don't think I will ex her out of the wedding party although right now I would like to.. I am going to get over it. I do not want to say anything to her though because I think it would wind up causing more problems then its owrth. Plus it would put my fiance in a bad situation. I think I just wanted to vent and make sure I wasnt just a crazy person for being uspet about it.

prncssrachel Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

I KNOW I would be upset, but I also know that I would KNOW in the back of my head that the picture had nothign to do with the ex, but more to do with the other THREE IMPORTANT people in the picture. Maybe there were no other good pictures of them, and cutting her out would have just been bad karma Hey, at least there's no picture of her on YOUR video
aliciahelene Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

yeah..I wouldnt like that too much!
xjulietx Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

It might bug me, but then I would have to think about how I have grown close to some of my brother's exes and I wouldn't want to forget that I was friends with some of them just because he is with someone else.

You can't change the past or the way people felt about one another at one point. That ex-gf of your FH's helped make him who he is now (whether in a good or bad way)
butterfly20 Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

it would bother me too, but one of the girls brought up the idea that maybe she felt close to that girl, or maybe wasnt thinking about it..
i guess it woudlnt hurt to ask her about it, calmly that is
Xelindrya Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

eep..

I'd be startled myself too.. but I am friends with all my ex's.. as a matter of fact... the imfamous Ex (you know what i mean) is invited to the wedding with this current arm candy.. we've known eachother since we were 18. FH understands this and trusts me.

Like someone else here said..prehaps she just had a bond with her outside her brother's connections to her.

But bottom line is.. yes... id feel icky about it.. Im pretty sure I'd talk to her about it.. but still include her in the wedding.

SeptemberBride03 Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

I would definitely be hurt. What does your FH think of it? Your FSIL probably just didn't think about it and didn't do it on purpose - but the fact that she didn't think about it would hurt me, too.

MarciaD Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

It would bother me a lot! I'm so sorry
jenny2penny Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

That is crummy and would bother me too. Knowing my FH he would say something to his sister.

michele31 Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

I would be VERY upset. That was totally uncalled for. But you will probably never see the video again.
Wow. Some people can just NOT think before they act. I don't know what I would even say to anyone about this. It is just so unfair and wrong.
babybride Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

That would bother me too! Hopefully though you will never have to see the video again!
Rob-luvs-me Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

I know it can be upsetting - but if you say you are close to her I am sure she didn't intentionally do that - she probably liked the photo for some reason or her husband did and they put it in not thinking how it might affect others. I mean she didn't put the video together FOR you - so I doubt it was malicious - even if it was poor taste. I know it is hard to think about - but we do have to remember that we all have a past of some sort and we have to remember that it was just that PAST and now you are in the present. I'm sorry you are so upset by this - but you probably will never have to watch the video again.

cookiek1 Posted:

Re: The ex factor please give me your opinion

I would be so hurt by that and sorry but don't tell me she didn't realize that when she was doing it. Unless she is retarded or something.

What does FI say about it?

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