The INSANITY has to stop!!!!

What is wrong with people??????

Am I incorrect in saying 'If you aren't paying for it, your opinion and input are not warranted!'

I'm sitting here at work, and I get a call from my mother. Now, yes, she's splitting the reception site with FI's parents, but nothing else.

She's going on and on about my dress, and how's she's really not comfortable with the gold sash, and thinks the sash should be white.

UM...it's a sash, it's not like it's the whole f'ing thing.

I said 'Mom, honestly, this is the only think that I'm dead-set on. I'm sorry, but I want the sash, b/c it's simply elegant and really sums up my personality and everything I stand for.' She then asked me to go into more detail about how it's a reflection of my personality.

I responded again with 'I'm not about that stark white on everything. I wanted some color, and at least it's not black or red! I'm wearing the dress how it is, you're not wearing it. If you were paying for it, then I'd be a little more flexible with you. You're not paying, so get off my back, and trust my judgement.'

AM I WRONG?????

I don't think you are wrong at all. It's your wedding day. Your dress is not outrageous and still looks like a wedding dress.

Thanks girls, I feel a lot better, and spoke to her.

I apologized for being nasty about it, but justified why I'm standing still with it, and it's the ONE thing that I'm set on and will have.

Thanks again!

Have a dress made for her just like yours with the WHITE sash since she seems to think it is HER wedding. She may as well be the bride!

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Posted by ChristineAE

I responded again with 'I'm not about that stark white on everything. I wanted some color, and at least it's not black or red! I'm wearing the dress how it is, you're not wearing it. If you were paying for it, then I'd be a little more flexible with you. You're not paying, so get off my back, and trust my judgement.'

AM I WRONG?????

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LOL I'm wearing red and black! Show her my ideas for my wedding and tell her 'at least I'm NOT doing THAT! I bet she would get off your case after viewing my webpage. LOL

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Posted by Goldi1021

Have a dress made for her just like yours with the WHITE sash since she seems to think it is HER wedding. She may as well be the bride!

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Do you know how close I was to actually saying this?

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Posted by ChristineAE

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Posted by Goldi1021

Have a dress made for her just like yours with the WHITE sash since she seems to think it is HER wedding. She may as well be the bride!

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Do you know how close I was to actually saying this?

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I sort of understand where you are coming from. I have been 'prepping' Mom for various things in regard to the wedding before we actually set them in stone. My idea for a natural look type of wedding as opposed to a hyper-floral thing would not have been her original choice but she has taken to it quite nicely after a few months of coaxing.

You see, my mom is paying for 80% of the wedding, FH and I paying for 20%. As grateful as we are for my family's generosity, we have to remind Mom that SHE ALREADY HAD HER DAY. Knowing the kind of woman she is, I hardly think she allowed my grandmother to dictate what her wedding was going to look like. So every once in a while, she says 'All I am good for is writing the checks' in true Jewish guilt style. So I said, 'FINE, your new name is now CHECKBOOK.' When we go to vendors, I say 'Come on CHECKBOOK, we have to go now.'

I have three criteria for opinions.
One or more of the three must apply for the opinion to be considered.

1. I have to ask you for it.
2. You have to be paying for it
3. You did significant research/leg work on it

I have to say this also applies to my FI....especially the third one....no work no opinion...

Is that too harsh?

It's your day, it's your dress...not hers. Being supportive and giving your opinion is one thing...but to try to force it down someone's throat and make them defend their decision is INSANE.

The gold sash is elegant. Your dress is beautiful. Be happy.

I hear you completely. Last time I visited my mom she was going on and on about what I have to wear and what I need. Granted, my parents paid for 50% of my dress, and she picked it out, and I agreed, so I figure that's the one thing I let her do. Everything else is up to me.

She was going on and I looked at my dad who was sitting there helplessly and asked him 'She's living vicariously through my wedding, isn't she?' He just nodded. I think all of our mothers in some way are.

I find when anyone has opinions or questions, the best thing to say here is 'who is getting married here, me or you?'

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Posted by ChristineAE

What is wrong with people??????

Am I incorrect in saying 'If you aren't paying for it, your opinion and input are not warranted!'

I'm sitting here at work, and I get a call from my mother. Now, yes, she's splitting the reception site with FI's parents, but nothing else.

She's going on and on about my dress, and how's she's really not comfortable with the gold sash, and thinks the sash should be white.

UM...it's a sash, it's not like it's the whole f'ing thing.

I said 'Mom, honestly, this is the only think that I'm dead-set on. I'm sorry, but I want the sash, b/c it's simply elegant and really sums up my personality and everything I stand for.' She then asked me to go into more detail about how it's a reflection of my personality.

I responded again with 'I'm not about that stark white on everything. I wanted some color, and at least it's not black or red! I'm wearing the dress how it is, you're not wearing it. If you were paying for it, then I'd be a little more flexible with you. You're not paying, so get off my back, and trust my judgement.'

AM I WRONG?????

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um christine take it from me get what you want 'get the gold. i dont think a white sash would look the same. jmo!!!

look whos taking now! LOL

JMO

your dress your money your way.

you shouldn't have to present a defense to anyone regarding your choice of dress.

even if your mother (or anyone else for that matter) were paying for your dress - i would think they would want you to be absolutely in love with it. they should want you to pick what you wanted and be happy they were able to make it a reality for you.