Ugh....so FH logs onto his myspace tonight and there is a message from his aunt...she asked him why he didnt send out the invites yet and that her, jada ( his cousin...her BF and their baby) will all be in ....get this...Rhode Island....July 25th so they can come to the wedding...
so 1. we dont live on Rhode Island. 2. Jada is not invited...nor her boyfriend....NOR their newborn baby!!
So, FH writes back, we havnt sent out the invites yet, its hard to get everything done when we are living in FL. That they will go out when we get the chance...
her response...
Well dont you think that you should...i mean, its comming up really soon and you should get them in the mail.
ummmm, K...thanks...i really asked for your opinion and our extended family isnt invited!
This is why i wanted to have this long talk with FMIL and she flipped out that we werent inviting kids and blah blah.and she freaked out on me....my mom is paying for the whole wedding and she isnt putting in a DIME!!!
UGH I hate ppl!
Sorry so long and prolly didnt make sense lol
SummerBride10
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
Aww I'm sorry you have to deal with that! I hope it all works out
Eternalyyourz
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
Aww.. let the fun begin! Your not even getting married until July! They need to calm down about your invites. I sent mine out tues. and I am getting married in may!
mariaobride
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
you still have plenty of time to send out invites- talk about being rude and impatient fh handled it well- dont stress her!
Soon2BMrs.T
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
I feel your pain. You would never believe that your family member or his family members of all people would give you drama. Get this one, my FH aunt did the same thing. We reserved one seat for her on her RSVP, I got her response back and she placed 5 people instead of one. It looks like this: { } Accept __ of 1 will attend. She did { } Accept 5 of 1 will attend. Does that make sense.
Well, This is the way you have to look at it. This is your wedding not theirs. If they chose not to come that is one less person to think about.
FutureMrsLV
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
Ok I totally feel your pain! But im 100% on your side for this one! we havent even thought about our invites yet because its so early and we also arent in the same situation bc both my parents and FH parents are helping equally with the wedding...BUT... If my parents were paying for the whole wedding then I KNOW for a FACT that they would have a limited amount of people that they could invite and anything over that they would be responsible to pay for their plate! It is not fair for your FMIL to invite extra family and people that you arent close with esp. since shes not contributing to the expenses. I think you need to sit down with her again and explain that you and your parents just dont have enough money and can not afford to invite the extended family and that shes more then welcome to invite them if she wants to play for their plate b/c its too much money for you! Then I would also explain NO KIDS! its your wedding! good luck!
MaggieLuvsJoe
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
Ughhh so sorry youre having to deal with this.....ignore them, it's your wedding, you do what you want
SusiBtoM
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
You will find as your wedding day gets closer that there are a lot of people that will be fishing for an invite. My DH got really good at telling people NO and not feeling bad about it.
Your invites should go out around Memorial day, all depending upon what RSVP deadline you give yourselves. My advice, give yourself an extra week for RSVP so this way you can get the straggelers in the mail before you have to stress about making phone calls.
But, you and FH really need to sit down with FMIL real soon and set her straight on who is invited and who is not. You need to be prepared to give her a fixed number of guests she is allowed, but be reasonable at the same time. Just because she isn't contributing doesn't mean that she can't invite anyone.
Once upon a time, a bride's parents were expected to pay for the entire reception. My dad didn't contribute, and I didn't ask him to. Bless his heart, he had no clue. Had my mom still been alive I'm sure she would have contributed, or at least bout my dress. That didn't stop me from asking my Dad who he would like to invite, and when I made suggestions told me I didn't have to since I was paying for the wedding. DH and I paid for most of the wedding, with some help from his Mom.
emirem
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
I know how you feel same thing happened to me. The worst thing is that people were trying to bring people they know not that I know or FH . It totally ***** just have patience. That's all
bluegreen08
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
i am so scared of this happening with us
ligirlz
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
I think we all went or will go through that. People do not understand that you have a limit and only are inviting certain individuals.
I didn't have the issue of people trying to invite themselves. I thank god for that I just had the issue of them sending them back on time.
(P.S. FH's aunt has the wrong island )
mf2009
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. Keep in mind that this weding is for you and FH and FMIL needs to be told the number of ppl she can invite and thats it!. You do NOT want to regret inviting ppl you don't like or don't even o=know just because tis the right thing to. ME and my mother are already getting prepared for the backlash because we cut a good chunk of people out of my list because we just can't afford it and I am not going to be the girl who has the grandiose wedding of her dreams and still lives with her parents afterwards cause she is broke!
BAL5-9-05
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
I feel your pain...unfortunately I'm anticipating the same thing to come...BUT, to try to cut it off at the pass, we've been telling everyone how SMALL this wedding is going to be & how we want to keep it very 'personal'....SO, hopefully the rumor mill will send out the message of the expectation that NOT EVERYONE is invited (obviously)...Time will tell...
Cpt2007
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
Posted by BAL5-9-05
I feel your pain...unfortunately I'm anticipating the same thing to come...BUT, to try to cut it off at the pass, we've been telling everyone how SMALL this wedding is going to be & how we want to keep it very 'personal'....SO, hopefully the rumor mill will send out the message of the expectation that NOT EVERYONE is invited (obviously)...Time will tell...
I agree. Also, I'd strongly suggest that when you do send out invitations, you go the route of writing on each person's response card how many places are reserved for them. So it would read like this:
' M ______________ 2 seats have been reserved in your honor. _______will attend _______will not attend.'
also make sure that you write out the names of each person being invited on the invitation envelopes and try as best you can to avoid writing 'Mr. X and guest.' leave zero room for interpretation on who is invited and how many people can come.
CMS
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
I don't know if this will help in your situation...but...
We're obviously not at the stage you're at, but we're paying for the wedding ourselves plus buying a house at the same time, so we really only have a certain amount of money to play with.
We have actually told family and friends that we're only having a small party for IMMEDIATE family only (no aunts/uncles/cousins/children) after the wedding because they venue can only accomodate up to 60 people (now that's LIE #1).
I figure this way, people won't expect an invite.
Don't know how successful I'll be in this though....
Christine N Ralph
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
Sorry that you are going through this! I hope everything works out for you!
MrsS4
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Re: the invites arent even out and theres drama...
aww
let the fh deal with it
tell him to tell his side if they want any control what so ever they would need to 'talk to your mother' because she is the one paying for it-- that is soo rude---
mrsjpc3
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