the- 'my mom is a pain'- vent

Original post by JPC1125

Oct 11, 2004 06:02 PM

Ok so i called her today cause i was excited that FH and I decided on a color scheme for out big day (white and gold)

Shes seems unimpressed and starts giving me attitude about how i caved into his idea of a winter wedding

Everything with her is us vs them as in my family versus his family

She hates them- thinks that they are too frivolous with their money, too selfish etc

so she calls me back tonight and wants to get started on 'just how much are you spending on this wedding young lady, you are being wasteful with the budget for this wedding, i'd rather you put the money towards a house instead....what do you mean avg weddings on LI are more than 20,000?!!!!!'

::SCREAMS:: I cant t ake it anymore...the main thing is that I have yet to tell her that his family has said they would pay for half if not all the wedding costs

Meanwhile, she has offered to LOAN us 2,500 for our first hall payment.

This is my wedding for cryin out loud and if we want to have chair covers, we will dammit!!!

Marisa M Posted: Oct 12, 2004 10:19 AM

Re: the- 'my mom is a pain'- vent

Just keep telling yourself that you are a grown woman and your mother is not paying your bills and therefore has no right to tell you how to spend your money. - Who cares if she would rather you spend the $$ on a house?? If YOU want to spend $100k on your wedding and be in debt for the next 1 years. - it's your choice !!
Just let her say what she's going to say anyway and yes her to death b/c if you try to fight w/ her you're just going to allow her to upset you and ruin all of the fun in the planning process.

JPC1125 Posted: Oct 12, 2004 06:29 PM

Re: the- 'my mom is a pain'- vent

well Im DEF not spending 100K on my wedding...even I think thats a waste! LOL

I mean its only about 25,000 and thats not alot in LI standards (i think) Plus, were blessed enough to have his parents offer to pay so we might only be contributing about 10,000 total

and add in the 6, 000 we got as engagement presents and thats about 2/3rds of out total budget right there

UPDATE: called her today about something unrelated and she sounds better about it- no attitude at all. I think she went to the dentist (a friend of hers) and she prob calmed my mom down. The receptionist there just got married and she prob told my mom how much she spent and mom realized mine isnt that expensive.
Damn it all but she still thinks that I dont need chair covers!!! i can never win

stacy&joe Posted: Oct 13, 2004 05:50 PM

Re: the- 'my mom is a pain'- vent

I am so sorry. I too have a parent problem who is taking all the joy out of everything they get involved in. Ack. I am glad to hear there are other parents involved who are excited for you!!

I guess the best advice I can give is advice my married friends gave me the first day I started planning - You and your FH are creating a life as total, true partners, more than you were before. That life starts today. So, don't take your eyes off that for a second -and don't let anyone take the joy in that away for anything. This process will be as enjoyable as you let it.

I used that advice (ALOT), and I get true happiness from feeling like me and FH are doing this together, with or without our parents. It's like our first married person adventure!