The night before the wedding...

we're having our rehearsal dinner the night before our wedding and it's supposed to end at 9:30pm. FH and I planned on going back to our apt after and exchanging our letters (its our wedding gift to each other) and then just relaxing and going to sleep since we'll both have to be up early the next morning.

well now FH's friends from out of town are all coming in the night before the wedding and are going out to a bar and want FH to go. i would really like him to stay home that night with me. i'm definitely not going to the bar because i dont need to drink and wake up puffy the next day lol. what do you think?? should he stay home with me or should he go out for a little?

it depends... are they capable of going out for a few and actually coming home before the sun rises? if so, then let him go...

I'd let him go out for a LITTLE while... you dont want him hung over on your big day...

and you could invite some girlfriends over for movies and wine.

How are his friends? I mean...are they the type that would turn it into a sh!tshow, last-minute bach party for him where he's bound to get trashed? Or are they generally more laid-back types that don't need to get wicked drunk to have a good time?

If it's open to you as well, they're probably the more responsible types. You could always go and not drink booze...have seltzer and be the DD.

---

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

How are his friends? I mean...are they the type that would turn it into a sh!tshow, last-minute bach party for him where he's bound to get trashed? Or are they generally more laid-back types that don't need to get wicked drunk to have a good time?

If it's open to you as well, they're probably the more responsible types. You could always go and not drink booze...have seltzer and be the DD.

---

good point about his friends - they're more responsible and some of their wives/girlfriends will be there too. maybe we can just stop by for a little right after the rehearsal instead of going home first. i know he would stay home if i asked him to without putting up a fight, but at the same time i dont want to feel guilty about keeping him from his friends who have travelled to see him get married, you know?

I am all about him not having to ask permission to go out... BUT... this is a huge day. He's going to have to be up and presentable EARLY in the morning. I'd ask him to stay home. I know my FH is not capable of going out for a drink.... it usually turns into ten.

ETA: Hmm just saw your updated post. I didn't realize you were invited along with him. If it ends at 9:30, you should be able to go out for an hour to hang out with your OOT friends. Just make sure he leaves with you!

---

Posted by MR1223

---

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

How are his friends? I mean...are they the type that would turn it into a sh!tshow, last-minute bach party for him where he's bound to get trashed? Or are they generally more laid-back types that don't need to get wicked drunk to have a good time?

If it's open to you as well, they're probably the more responsible types. You could always go and not drink booze...have seltzer and be the DD.

---

good point about his friends - they're more responsible and some of their wives/girlfriends will be there too. maybe we can just stop by for a little right after the rehearsal instead of going home first. i know he would stay home if i asked him to without putting up a fight, but at the same time i dont want to feel guilty about keeping him from his friends who have travelled to see him get married, you know?

---

Yeah...first off, if you asked him to stay home, you know he'd be cool with it. Secondly, they're responsible types. And thirdly, there will be other women there who will probably keep a watchful eye on the alcohol consumption. IMO it sounds like things will be fine if he went out.

---

Posted by MR1223

---

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

How are his friends? I mean...are they the type that would turn it into a sh!tshow, last-minute bach party for him where he's bound to get trashed? Or are they generally more laid-back types that don't need to get wicked drunk to have a good time?

If it's open to you as well, they're probably the more responsible types. You could always go and not drink booze...have seltzer and be the DD.

---

good point about his friends - they're more responsible and some of their wives/girlfriends will be there too. maybe we can just stop by for a little right after the rehearsal instead of going home first. i know he would stay home if i asked him to without putting up a fight, but at the same time i dont want to feel guilty about keeping him from his friends who have travelled to see him get married, you know?

---

I think this is the best solution. Especially since their OOT's. You don't have to stay long. Enjoy it!

---

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

---

Posted by MR1223

---

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

How are his friends? I mean...are they the type that would turn it into a sh!tshow, last-minute bach party for him where he's bound to get trashed? Or are they generally more laid-back types that don't need to get wicked drunk to have a good time?

If it's open to you as well, they're probably the more responsible types. You could always go and not drink booze...have seltzer and be the DD.

---

good point about his friends - they're more responsible and some of their wives/girlfriends will be there too. maybe we can just stop by for a little right after the rehearsal instead of going home first. i know he would stay home if i asked him to without putting up a fight, but at the same time i dont want to feel guilty about keeping him from his friends who have travelled to see him get married, you know?

---

Yeah...first off, if you asked him to stay home, you know he'd be cool with it. Secondly, they're responsible types. And thirdly, there will be other women there who will probably keep a watchful eye on the alcohol consumption. IMO it sounds like things will be fine if he went out.

---

ITA... and a drink or two would relax you guys...

id want him to stay home\

eta: wha if you all just ordered out, opened up some wine, and all just hung out at your place?

I would probably go out with him, take my girls, not drink, and do the letter thing on the wedding night.

HTH

FH already told me he is ignoring his friends calls all day the day before because he knows how they get and he doesn't want to be all hung over on our wedding day. The smartest thing FH has ever said....well besides asking me to marry him.

FH & I are kinda in the same situation as you except we aren't spending the night together. B/c our church HAS to have our rehearsal @ 8pm the night b/f the wedding we are doing our RD first @ about 5pm. And after RD we are going to go out to a local bar and hang out w/some of our fiends for a while. Im def not drinking and I am only staying out for an hour or so. Anyway, to answer your ques, I have decided that FH and I are going to have a romantic dinner the night b/f our RD so I can give him all his gifts and we can just be alone together. If I were you I would let him stay out w/his friends.