The Official 2007 'Already Married Brides' Advice Thread

My advice? Sweat NOTHING. A few things went wrong on our wedding day... my father's best friend - who was supposed to dance with me on the wedding day - had a heart attack that morning and could not be there. 4 other guests simply did not show... not message, no nothing. The make up artist got pulled over on her way to my house and wound up getting to us 45 minutes late. Which had us changing transport plans for everyone and actually caused the ceremony to start late. We forgot the unity candles and the memorial candles - and the ceremony had to be slightly re-written. The centerpieces were not what I had hoped for and the cake was the wrong flavor. I wound up having to start medication again 4 weeks before the wedding and I had to have my dress taken out and it was STILL too tight because I literally gained 15 lbs and bloated up like a marshmallow. The DJ played the wrong song for my bouquet toss and messed up the parent/bride dance. My best man and his girlfriend argued and I got to eat almost NOTHING...

But I never once melted down. I refused to let anything get to me. It made the day THAT much better for my guests because I was so relaxed. I think if I had freaked out they would not have had that much of a good time.

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Posted by MJDoc12

BUMP to keep this thread alive and growing

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saw your picture in the Post
very nice

I agree with a lot of what's been said, particularly to take time to enjoy the magic, and definitely not to let the little things get to you beforehand - because you really really will not give a sh!t about them the day of. I wish you could have a little preview of how much you won't care about certain things before the big day, that way you wouldn't stress the tiniest bit over the things that seem monumental while you're planning.

One thing I would add is to make sure that you do get SOME alone time with your FH. We definitely wanted to be at our cocktail hour, but at the beginning of it our maitre'd (who was AWESOME) insisted that the two of us stay up in the bridal suite for about 10-15 minutes at the beginning of the CH and they brought us up plates of the food that was down at the CH. It was probably one my fondest memories of the wedding, those 10 minutes alone with him, after having spent all day taking pictures and being surrounded by people it was so nice to be able to talk and not be on display (and to EAT!) We fully enjoyed the CH once we got there, but I am so grateful for those few special moments alone!

Is it lame that my wedding was two months ago and Im STILL thinking of advice?!?!

if you are putting an earlier time on your invites for your ceremony and having the ceremony at the RH, make sure your guests have somewhere to wait.... esp somewhere that you wont be. We were still finishing up pics in the cute lobby of my RH and the guests came at 4:30! so a good number saw me before the actual ceremony. I personally dont care but I think alot of girls would stress about that.

Thank you ladies sooo much. You're so genorous and helpful. Best Wishes for a happy married life!!

Would like to add, when you and your FH are at your table, take a few seconds and look around the room. Look at the CP's, people laughing, dancing, etc.. and just know that you planned your wedding the best you both could have and be proud of it!!!!!!!!!

Ok Here I GO!

Get the dress you WANT! Don't settle here ladies! I will forever regret not getting the Lazaro dress I dreamed about. I tried it on, loved it and it was only $1500 at a sample sale! Yes, for most of us a lot of money but after all was said and done I would have paid it. I loved my Maggie, don't get me wrong, but I know I missed out on having my dream dress. Hopefully we only get to do this once - DO THIS RIGHT!

Give your photographer a MUST TAKE LIST! Yeah after reading all the advice i forgot the damn list. HUGE mistake. I regret it big time but nothing can be done about it now and the pics I have are nice just missing some shots I really had wanted.

Eat and have fun! Yes people drove and whatever to get to your wedding but it's YOUR WEDDING! Have fun! I didn't talk to everyone but I danced my behind off and had a blast. So I missed a few people, I feel a tiny bit of guilt about it. I loved my day!

remember what is happening and LOOK AROUND YOU! All these people are there for YOU and your HUSBAND! Soak it up and enjoy it! Love the love! Love the camera - we have some great shots of me just being a silly goose! Really let yourself have fun! I was spinning around in my dress and just running around and acting like a 5 year old! It was so much fun! Screw being lady like!!!

Enjoy your day.

Ahhh now I can post on this thread actually having experienced 'my special day'

1. I can promise you that you WILL NOT sweat the small stuff, even the most tightly wound girls will not be worked up over silly things that a week prior you would have flipped over. At that point everything 'is what it is.' My BM dresses were ALL altered incorrectly, there was a small afternoon party at the RH that was running late so my guests were made to wait in the lobby rather than the hospitality suite bc that is where the small party was being held...silly things like this WILL NOT affect you as you think they might.

2. I still say HIRE A DOC, especially if you are have 150 plus guests and lots of little details. Mine (Fran) was worth every penny. There is nothing this woman wouldn't have done for us to make our day perfect!

3. Let your vendors do their jobs. If you are on the fence about a vendor or not completely confident with them, don't hire them. If you hire a real professional you will have next to nothing to worry about.

4. I took Melissa (Melbalalala) and Melissa's (MJDoc's) advice. FH and I went into the bridal suite immediately after the ceremony and just sat there for 15 minutes soaking it all in. We also imposed the FIVE FOOT rule and it worked magic. I can't recall a moment where DH and I were not dancing, drinking, partying together or at least within each others sight. I love that EVERY wedding memory I have is with him. The photog and videographer actually said how easy we made their jobs by staying together the whole night. I can't wait to see our proofs and video.

5. ABSOLUTELY give your RH about 10%-15% less of a head count than what you are expecting when they ask for your final (which is usually about a week before). The week of, we had about 10 people cancel and one couple didn't show. The day of I handed in my 'real' seating chart and the extra place cards I was holding on to and took out the place cards of the people that canceled. We saved ourselves a couple thousand $$ by doing this. Your RH will always let you add after you give your final count but will not let you reduce.

6. When the BM/maitre d (sp?) takes you to see your reception room all set up for the first time DON'T RUSH to get out. This is all of your hard work and money finally coming together. I will never forget DH's face when the BM opened the door to give us the first look at the room. He looked like a little boy at Xmas. It is such a great moment. They will try and rush you so they can get the people up from the CH into the room but TOO BAD. Take your time, take your own pics, just enjoy it!

7. I had a 101 fever the day of the wedding. This was due to stress, not eating (I can't eat when I am too busy or stressed), intense gym work outs and total lack of sleep. Girls PLEASE do your best to take care of yourself. I should NOT have worked out as much and should have eaten more bc it totally wore me down. I should have even taken vitamins. Thank God for the body's ability to produce adrenellyn bc I didn't realize how sick I was until we got back to the hotel and DH called room service to have Nyquil brought to the room! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

8. If you have a tendency to lose weight when you are stressed get double sided tape to put on your boobs so your gown will stick to you. It worked wonders. If I hadn't I would have been pulling it up all night.

9. If you have a VH have the Band/DJ and maitre d open it first to you and your DH, then to the BP and parents and THEN to the rest of the guests. I WISH I did this. We had about 230 guests and my poor BP and parents waited about 20 minutes to get a dish of ice cream or a canoli on that long @zz line.

10. You are NOT going to please everyone so in the end PLEASE YOURSELF It's a party, those who want to have a good time will and those that come with a crappy attitude won't. It's their problem not yours.

Enjoy girls and remember to take deep breaths, it's over in a flash!

Such wonderful advice!! Thank you ladies!!

I just thought of something.

Everyone talks about a 'must take' photo list....but we all forget about a 'must take' video list! You should talk with your videographer that day and communicate things that you especially want in your video. For example--letting them know ahead of time of certain parts of the ceremony that might be non-traditional, that you want them to pay special attention to...like we did the spanish '13 Arras' tradition, and we let them know that ahead of time.

For the reception, make sure you say to them that there are certain guests that you would like to make sure are on the video (and maybe some that you don't want ). Our videographer never communicated with us much, and I regret that, cause we didn't get to say to him 'hey make sure you take video of my aunt & uncle who came from peru' or 'make sure you don't get much video of my brothers disgusting twat rag (now ex)girlfriend'

Me again...
I was working on my album and thought of another tidbit of advice.

I know we all go ga-ga over cool, photojournalistic pics... things/people in the back blurred out, you and DH looking whimsically at each other, walking away from the camera, etc.

BUT... its sooo important to make sure you get some really good 'looking at the camera' traditional portraits.

I have just enough of these, but wish I had a little more to choose from, esp of me and DH. I have WAY too many of us walking away from the camera. Yes, we look like we are in love on our wedding day, but I wouldn't hang it above my fireplace.

Definitely the best thread ever.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I know it's been said already, but it's so very important:
don't obsess over the weather. There's nothing you can do about it, and when it comes down to it, it really won't change a thing about the magic of your day

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

Definitely the best thread ever.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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Tell your friends and family!