The Official 2007 'Already Married Brides' Advice Thread

*DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF - the people i had in charge of bringing everything to the church forgot my unity candles. It took all my willpower to not be upset but I was determined to not let anything ruin my day.

* PLEASE EAT - I ate but I didn't really have dessert and have been kicking myself since.

* Have someone in charge of gathering fam. members for pics. I didn't do this swearing I would remember. I only have pics with the part of my fam. that was at my house before the wedding. And with some family memebers that only attended the ceremony. I couldn't believe it when I got my proofs. But yeah no pics with aunts or cousins. (and I only have myself to blame).

*if your having you hair and makeup done at home let everyone else go first. I did and thank god because if I had gone first I would have been super giddy. As it turns out I only had to wait for my mom and I couldn't stay still.

*Try to have as few people in your house as possible when you are getting ready. My parents live in an apt in the city which is where I got ready. There were so many people there that it was almost impossible to move. Makes things a lot more hetic than needed.

* DO not Force the FG or RB to do anything they do want to. My FG and RB were so tired and cranky when it was time to walk into the Reception that I decided to not have them walk in. They had spent the CH with their parents and did not want to come and walk with us.

*TRY TO DO EVERYTHING ATLEAST 3 DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING*
My wedding was on the sat. the Thurs. before we went to Leonards and took all our reception stuff. We also picked up my dads tux (which he did not try on because he didn't have time). I also picked up both my dresses that day. I lost my wallet with all the tip money, debit cards, credit cards and so on. (Thank after going nuts for about 30 mins I found in my dads car). My niece was born that night. So when we finally got home my dad put on his tux and guess what.... the jacket was too small, the pants too short and the shirt was missing a button. So friday we had to go get that fixed.. something that was not in the plan for that day.

Thats it for now .....

I read on here a lot about brides being 'made' to do things or wear things or invite people they don't want such as:

Mom doesn't like my dress, FSIL doesn't like our potog, FFIL thinks we should have a video, Dad wants to invite all 55 of his co-workers..

DH and I had a small wedding (50 guests) no MC, no video, no bok / toss, no veils and and a photojournalist photographer (so no posed shots..The horror!!). Not everyone agreed with our choices.. and in the end they all agreed that we had an amazing wedding and it was really 'US'.

So, my advice is :
Have the wedding you and your FH invision!
Not the one that Mom, Dad, Grandma or FSIL want!

Here's mine....If your short a bridesmaid. DO NOT make it a family member on your husbands side!!!!!!! NO MATTER HOW DESPERATE YOU ARE!!!!! Make it someone with whom will cooperate with everyone else in the bridal party. Friendships can be lost, and family can be torn apart. Especially if it's a one sided deal, and the other party doesn't hear your side, or takes advice from an 'outsider'. Chin up to all my 07 girls, but fair warning.......things can get ugly. But.....I'm maried now, and ALLLLLLLLLLLLll That $hit is behind me, except for a bit of unfinished business. But I have a feeling it'll be unfinished for a while IMy husband and I will take care of it

Shameless bump, for 07 brides in this situation

Bump for SchmearandGoose to add her advice!!

This thread is invaluable!!!!! Thank you Melanie and to all the girls who have and continue to contribute!

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Posted by werock0709

Here's mine....If your short a bridesmaid. DO NOT make it a family member on your husbands side!!!!!!! NO MATTER HOW DESPERATE YOU ARE!!!!! Make it someone with whom will cooperate with everyone else in the bridal party. Friendships can be lost, and family can be torn apart. Especially if it's a one sided deal, and the other party doesn't hear your side, or takes advice from an 'outsider'. Chin up to all my 07 girls, but fair warning.......things can get ugly. But.....I'm maried now, and ALLLLLLLLLLLLll That $hit is behind me, except for a bit of unfinished business. But I have a feeling it'll be unfinished for a while IMy husband and I will take care of it

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I can def. relate to this one...going through some crap with FH's sis who is one of my BM's

Bump for Devon!!

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Posted by twinkletoes807

Bump for Devon!!

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haha THANK YOU!

*Carry your everyday lip gloss with you.....I wore the lipstick put on by the make-up artist for the ceremony & for some pictures but by the time I got the milleridge I wiped it off and put on my everyday lip gloss and it was so much better!! (it was the mac colorstay...that stays on REALLY well but I felt like from kissing/talking & drinking it got a little chalky feeling) Go with something you love to wear everyday & hold it b/c you do a lot of kissing!!

*Take a moment, stand at your dais and just stare at your family & friends enjoying themselves. DH & I did that I got a little teary watching everyone. You put so much time & effort into planning and it's nice to see your guests loving all of it

*Of course....take a moment with just you and your DH....we made it down to our cocktail hour but towards the end of it...we ran upstairs and our maitre'D and Bridal attendant kept bringing us plates and plates of everything from our CH & it was SO NICE to sit there without someone pulling you here and pulling you there. We sat up there for a good 20 minutes.

* Do your table greetings before dinner....we made it to every single table before everyones meals came and it was golden!!

* We did our parents dances in the beginning and I loved that idea...(i stole it from my sister)....we had our first dance...then guests sat down and had there appetizers.....then salads (or whatever order that should be in)...then right before the intermezzo we did parent dances & I loved doing that b/c then it didn't stop the party later in the night. I thought that with the cake cutting...garter toss....BoK toss....viennesse hour...the end of the night dancing would've been cut off. So that's just a thought for some of you!

* Bring safety pins for your bustle...forget about the little strings and the tiny button holding it all night....at least it didn't work for me. Towards the end of the night, I was literally holding my dress in my hand b/c it was just easier then having people step on it (mostly guys!!!!!!) and the bustle coming off. It was so annoying lol

*During dinner when a slow song comes on and no one is looking....dance with your husband. We did that at ours and it was such a special moment b/c everyone was to busy eating that some didn't realize we were up dancing & it was so perfect.

* I kept my veil on all night & I love that for pictures. Surprisingly, I thought it would annoy me or make me hot but it didn't which is why I just kept it on.

* no matter what take 2 advils that morning.....I wish I had.....by the end of the night (when guests were leaving) I developed a killer migraine & I wish I had taken two that morning.

*Try to avoid guests making circles around you & DH everytime you two begin dancing with ecahother LOL I finally was like 'NO MORE CIRCLES!!' please!! lol

*OH and when someone requests a song on your 'do not ever' playlist...just play it....who cares. Someone on DH's side brought PROPS for the YMCA (I kid you not lol) & it turned out to be one of the funniest moments of the night. My DJ came up to me and asked for permission and at first I was like 'ummmmm seriously...the YMCA & props?? ohhhh what the hell!' My crazy brother, my brother in law and Matt were HILARIOUS up there. Seeing DH with a leather vest on almost made me pee my pants! (ok, not literally!!)

*Lastly....don't feel like you have to go down and party more after your wedding is over at the bar everyone went too. It's such a long, exhausting, overwhelming, happy, best day of your life day that everyone will understand if you don't show up. (we didn't! haha & everyone was like.....we totally figured you two wouldn't come down!)

HAVE FUN, DON'T STOP DANCING EVER!!!!

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Posted by melbalalala

bump!! So many june brides that HAVE to have some advice!

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Here you go...........

Breath, Relax, and drink Wine/champagne or mimossa's while getting ready

Ok for real

You don't HAVE to get your hair done at home or wherever. I went to the salon and we had lunch after. It was so nice to get away from the hotel!! It was me my MOH, my mom and step mom. Just us. My dad, brother, and uncle stopped by but they quickly left. Take before/after/in progress pics. It really is cool looking back. KNOW what you want. This is not the day to let ANYONE change your mind. I have light hazel eyes and told my make-up artist to use purple and pink eyeshadow, green eyeliner nad 2 coats VERY dark mascara. She about died, but in the end it looked awsome


EAT SOMETHING!!!! As I said we went to lunch after and there my 2 friends met us. It was so relaxing and just what I wanted/needed. I had a pina colada, a bowl of soup and a small salad. Just enough but not to much

OK here's the thing EVERYONE will be telling you what to do asking questions blah blah blah. I told everyone I was the CEO that day! No one goes to the CEO with a problem.......they go to managers VP's or whoever. The CEO hears a problem and THEN THE RESOLUTION!!! This made the day go VERY smooth for me.

Don't fixate on the small things...i know i know i know you hear it 10000000000000 times but really it's true. I melted when my flowers came and they were NOT AT ALL what I wanted. The cake was smushed and no one listened to anything I said about the wedding day plans until the morning of the wedding. Just relax. I will always regret the flowers but in the end I married my best friend so whatever. For our 1yr anniversary he is getting me 1dz white roses and 1dz lite pink roses.

ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY!!! We had an after party at the bar after the dinner reception. Everyone that wanted to come did and it was so much fun. We drank laughed and had a blast. We alternated water and drinks so we were not to drunk, and we left before everyone. We wanted to enjoy the next day not spend it so hung over we couldn't do anything. Ok look .................you WIll be tired, but DO NOT go to bed before you.............have adult married relations for the first time
. You will never get that night back so use it! Not so romantic but we will always remember how funny and special it was

Good Luck Congrats and Enjoy!!! It really does go by so fast!!!!!


******UPDATED********


This is YOUR wedding. Do what feels right. Joe nad I pinky swore through our vows instead of holding hands. Nothing is more sacred then a pinky swear! When Minister Marx was getting ready to declare us man and wife....I was sooooooo excited I started hopping up and down and I was BEAMING. Everyone was laughing and it really weas a sweet moment. I was so excited to be his wife that I really couldn't hold it in any longer We have a picture of it and it is hysterical! We look at that and you know right away that I was jumping up and down in that pic. It is priceless. I did something you would not normally do, but I just could NOT not jump up and down (ok it was little little hopps but you get the idea)

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Posted by tricia3381

i have a question regarding the 5 ft rule-

If ur FH doesn't like to dance, but you do what do u or what did u do?

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This is mine-not a dancer at all! So i danced my rear off without him. No problems finding him when we needed to. Yes people will say keep him close...but one of us would have been miserable if we had done that-he walked around and talked to his friends-which is what he likes...and I danced with my girls-which is what I like

You do not have to make someone a bridesmaid or groomsman just because they are family. You also do not need equal numbers of boys/girls. Just have the BMs you WANT and no one else.

Don’t settle for a dress you don’t love. You will never forgive yourself. I bought a 2nd dress & I am SO GLAD I did. I have the 1st dress in my closet & I hate it. Thank God I didn’t wear it.

Don’t stress the weather forecasts. You can’t do anything about it anyway.

EAT SOMETHING beforehand. Eat while you are getting your hair done. Then eat again before the ceremony. Even if it’s a Powerbar. Everyone says that they don’t want to miss their cocktail hour, etc… Guess what? You’re not eating at your cocktail hour so just forget it. EVERY guest will grab you & need to talk your ear off. Sure, your RH will put some food aside for you but by the time you get it, dinner is being served.

If you can take your dress OFF COMPLETELY to pee. My bridal attendant went with me into the bathroom & unzipped me. I stepped out of the gown entirely. She held it while I did my business, then I stepped back in, got zipped up & I was back on my way.

As someone else said, have faith in your vendors. Do not stalk them in the days before.

Buy 2 tubes of the lipstick you plan to wear. Keep one in your bag & one in DH’s inside pocket.

That's all I can think of for now....

here's what i can think of for now...post wedding

-If you are contemplating writing your own vows..DO IT!
DH & I wrote our own, they do not have to be poetic or Shakespeare...just from the heart...and let me tell you I still cry when i read what he wrote to me. It really made our wedding our own.

-get video...i am still having trouble remembering stuff because i had such an adrenaline rush going that day (no i wasn't drunk..haha)...can't wait to see the video & get to watch from the guest's perspective and watch our ceremony...it is all a blur right now.

-take a minute to walk around your own wedding...i didn't really do that, but saw stuff in pictures i didn't remember looking at that day!

heh, I never added my 2 cents.... and as you girls know, I MUST ALWAYS add my 2 cents

1) pay for the items and vendors you really want. Don't skimp. If you select your 2nd or 3rd choice, you'll be second guessing them all day, and won't be letting go and enjoying yourself. This is especially true for the hall, photographer, and limo

2) get everything in writing. My vintage limo was not running on the big day. Becuase I asked for the other vintage limo to be our back-up WRITTEN INTO THE CONTRACT, we got their best car with no questions asked, and didn't have to pay extra

3) let your vendors do their job and just enjoy yourself! It's too late when your standing in the church / temple to fix anything. Just cut your losses and enjoy your day. It's fine that uncle mike never showed up.... party's probably better w/o any moody people anyway!

4) don't let the OOT'ers take over your life!!!! good grief, they'll move in if you let them...... push them out the door when you're getting tired... or better yet, get your parents to push them out

5) never mind paying thousands for a video guy, BUY YOUR OWN CAMERA.... a really GOOD one with spare batteries and a huge harddrive and train a good / reliable friend to record every moment. THEN, take the camera on your honeymoon Forget the wedding tapes, we love the HM tapes. So funny.... we're in such rare form throughout the trip. It was great.

Finally, enjoy yourself... it only happens once.