THE PURINA DIET!

The 'Purina Diet' Plan

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever
and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned in some way and was that why I
was in the hospital?

I said no. . . . . I'd been sitting in the street licking my
balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.