I am so torn right now...i had such a nice day yesterday (I reserved the date with our church) and i was so happy. when FH came over we got into a fight (about his mother...again) and he said a really not nice thing to me. so i told him to go eff himself and he didnt like that. he told me that everything needs to be done right away with me...meanwhile ive been so patient with him and his family addiction for 4.5 years that now im tired of it and im finally sticking up for myself and us as a couple...i use the wedding as a pawn, threatening to call it off (which i know isnt good) but i can never think of a way to make the situation better.
he gives me butterflies
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Re: The wedding is off???
i am so sorry to hear, once you guys are married it will be just you and him! and his family will not be as involved as much but i hope you guys patch things up and get through this. the wedding can be very stressful, and even more so when more people get involved.
stephlovesseyi
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Re: The wedding is off???
Ok, first take a deep breath... then think everything through...
Is calling off the wedding something your really want to do? The issues you are having, are they deal breakers? Meaning, if they don't change you can't stay with him. What are the family issues you are having?
You both need to sit down and talk before you make any big decisions.
coley1027
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Re: The wedding is off???
im sorry what is the issue that is causing you guys to fight so much? maybe when youve both calmed down you should sit down and discuss both of your fears and concerns about getting married. then you can calmly tell him what upsets you and maybe since hes calmed down to, he'll listen and do something about it
kabo0831
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Re: The wedding is off???
im so sorry that you are going through this, Take a breather. I do the same thing when i get into a really bad fight with FH. I think all of us have some problems with their FMIL. they always get in the way of planning.
Dont worry everything will be ok...
Abby2678
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Re: The wedding is off???
OK I am sorry to hear you are going through this but the most important thing is happiness between the two of you...You still have a ton of time to gert stuff done so relax a bit...my FH was the same way at the beginning but when we talked about it I relaxed and realuzed there is time for everything to get done...did i mention i work full time and go to grad chool full time and i am finding time to get everything done for this dec. and you still have a ton of tme...so go apologize tell him u love and need him and this is not the end of something amazing between the 2 of you!!!
longislandlibrarian
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i am so sorry!! take a deep breathe.........and make sure that you remember that what is most important is the love and relationship between you and FH.... and you need to focus on that.... however, he does need to stand up for you!!! so you and FH need to sit down and really talk itout..... try not to argue (I know that it can be hard when you are passionate about something) but I think that the love you two have for each other can overcome this !
Im a Pepper
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Re: The wedding is off???
aww! you will get through this! wedding planning can bring out the worst in any couple, and it's probably causing more stress than usual. I'm sorry to hear about the ongoing problem... but there's a reason you guys got this far!!! You will resolve everything and you're going to get married!!!! GL with everything and hope you're not stressing too much!
aliska21
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i actually disagree with you ...family will always be involved, they always there.
Future Mulligan
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Posted by aliska21
i actually disagree with you ...family will always be involved, they always there.
i agree - you marry a man you marry his family.....
aliska21
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i have the same situation w my FH..always have a prob w his mom...even tho she is the 'sweetest lady' no its true..she is...but you know what i think many people and have those problems w mothers in law. i TRY to do my best not to let it get to me..but you know what..the time comes when you just have to tell your FH what you think and...etc...ofcourse there will be a fight...you just have to come down...think of everything and sit down with him and talk of everyhting that happen, i mean the things he told you werent nice..so you would have to let him know that you not going to tolerate those kind of things....i mean ...just sit and talk calm to each other.....believe it will be so much better for the two of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dont worry everything will work out!!!!!!!!!
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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LOL okay lemme just tell you, thats prob gonna be a recurrent argument through your whole marriage... theres a reason why so many people hate their inlaws... but they deal with it and stay married...
And you will get those convos ' i dont think we should get married' .... They will prob come up a few times in the process.. I had one a few months ago with FH tellin me that.... but we worked through it and are back to normal... IMO, the engagment period is the time to find out the most about one another and come up with solutions to any of the numerous petty arguments that arise...
CMS
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Re: The wedding is off???
Posted by Future Mulligan
Posted by aliska21
i actually disagree with you ...family will always be involved, they always there.
i agree - you marry a man you marry his family.....
I agree -- if his family is a problem now, they will be a problem after you get married.
Set your boundaries NOW and don't think things will change after you get married.
I have lots of friends who's marriages fell apart because of in-laws and my sister even considered leaving her husband after only 4 years of marriage because of the constant meddeling of her mother-in-law.
This is definitely a bigger issue than wedding planning bringing out the worst in a couple.
Good luck.
novia26
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I hate petty arguments
Jflod710
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I know what you are going thru. and i have called off the wedding before. just remeber you will be happier then ever when you get ur fh away from some people.
ddnsp618
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TY everyone...i am trying to set the boundaries bu FH cant break away (a little background--he lives and works with his family) hes having a difficult time standing up to them and i am trying to give him encouragement and support but its frustrating bc they always get it their way. i dont know. and i tried to solve the issues with FMIL (i wasnt talking to her for 1.5 years). to break the ice, this past march, i sent her an email and she never replied. so its not like i dont try.
aliska21
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Re: The wedding is off???
you know what you trying to fix things up...she doesnt want to do it...dont bother.. but if he cant stand up for him self to the family..o man thats another prob... and especially when you work w/ the family...u guys need to get away from them thats my advice....i live right next door to HIS parents..and believe me...i have a lot of problems...w them..same kinda story,...i just need to move...and thats it..u guys need to sit down and think...what is the best ..that this kind of fight would not happen again!
PoppedInASnap
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Re: The wedding is off???
Ugh what family does....
Just talk to him. I know what its like to pull the 'f' word and with mr.1950's as a fh he gets highly upset...
