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Things I would have done differently

Original post by HearzBellz

OK, so we all do a review & they are very helpful, but I gotta share the things I really should have done differently (I am a Monday Morning quarterback through & through!)

First of all..... I would have looked around for better prices on my dress. Not only did I have a plethora of problems with my dress shop, but I saw my dress for $500 cheaper at another shop about 3 months before my wedding. This made me really mad, especially considering I was not paying for better service.

Also, I would have made my bustle come off the floor. I had only 2' of it as a mini-ail after thebustle & everyone was stepping on it! It is a Maggie Sotero with Swarsky (sp?) crystal detail at the hem & in the train, and people actually crushed them with their feet & they all fell off. If you get a french or inverted bustle, try to make it a double or 2-layer.

I would have had DH leave his house later. We almost saw eachother 3 times before the cermony, just b/c his limo kept catching up to mine. Thank goodness for Nextel, b/c the two-way was our saviour from that major mishap.

I would have made certain that the wish bowl & Signing frame were in a visible & trafficked area. Unfortunately, we did not join the cocktail hour & did not notice that these things were hidden in a corner, so no one signed our frame.

I would have told the hall 3 less people than we actually got yes responses. Essentially, we had to pay for dinners of those who did not show, & it is eaier to add a guest or two the day before.

I would have made sure my DJ had the photos for the video montage. There was a huge miscommunication bbetween me & the DJ & the videographer....each one of us thought the other had the pics....needless tosay we had no dinner photo montage. Not a major disaster, but the families would have liked it.

I would have had the jewlery appraised WAY before the wedding, so that way I would have been able to fight a bit harder for a proper price for our rings.

THE BIGGEST THING: I would not have expected to maek even 1/2 my $$ back to pay for the wedding. People, no matter how wealthy or not-wealthy they are, have a pre-determined number in their head of how much to give. Thank god I did not get married at Oheka or Flowerfields, we would have lost our shirts DH almost puked whn he totaled the gifts!!!! (We are generally very generous with such gifts, so he expected everyone else to be equally generous)

I definitely would have brought a list of pioctures that I wanted to have taken. We missed a lot of shots.

I would have had less people in the BP. DH family tradition is to have the youngest of each sets of sibling-cousins be in the BP. This made it huge and a little uncomfortable for us all since we did not all get along. Plus for me I would have loved to have more friends with me.

Be honest with the BP regarding what your expectations are for them. Tell them what you are paying for and what they will need to pay for. Tell them how you want or do not want their hair, make-up etc. Having a BM show up at the hotel the mornign of my wedding with MY wedding hair was not a pleasant scene.

Have 2 photographers, if available. I cannot tell you how many shots would have been missed if there was only one photographer.

I hope this helps!!!

ETA: It has been a couple of years since our wedding, but someone else posted this type of thread. Since the wedding, I do want to also say Do not sweat the small stupid things that happened on your day. Many of the 'FRIENDS' that caused issues that day ended up being flat-leavers down the road anyway. The day & all the days after are about you & your new family
julz33 Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Thanks for the tips!

MrHostility Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Your honesty is a VERY welcome thing. Please post more if you have more thoughts. And I agree that most people won't cover the plate cost, so I'm trying not to be shocked when it happens. Though I also think it's cheesy when people have the money, they just don't give it.

Sure it's a celebration of love, damn right, but you have to hope to get money back on it.
Donna Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Thanks for the honest response. I think what we have to remember about the $ issue is that while guests may or may not cover their plate, we will never 'make back' the $ spent on limos, photos, dresses, flowers, etc. So I think like was mentioned earlier go into planning your wedding on a budget you and FH or FW (see we have some grooms now) can comfortably afford.

StepherG Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently


Posted by MrHostility

Sure it's a celebration of love, damn right, but you have to hope to get money back on it.




WHY? That's a strange comment.

Actually, I give up my argument. There are people that are in it for the $$ and there are people that aren't. It matters to some and not to others. To each their own I guess.

I'm done. I'll stop responding now. I have to say that although I don't agree with some of the posts, I do appreciate the honesty.
JENNCHRIS Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Thanks for that post - I like to hear about the little things that we don't normally think of. The thing with your FH and the limo made me laugh, it's something I wouldn't have thought of.
And...
Everyone needs to relax. Every single time this subject comes up of getting your money back for the wedding everyone gets all uppity! You spend A LOT of money on a wedding, you can't not hope to get some of it back! It's not being greedy! People are obviously not having a wedding with the sole purpose of making money, but it is nice to get some back and lessen the burden a bit.
NYCHICK Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently


Posted by nsgraham


Posted by NYCHICK


Posted by nsgraham

And yes, I do know someone who made back the 25K she spent. But I shouldn't say that too loud, should I?



Did she plan her wedding with a return figure in mind, is what I mean.



Oh no, she was just lucky.




I thought so. That is what I mean, sure you could hope, but to plan your wedding around it is a bit of a stretch.
lullabella Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently


Posted by JENNCHRIS

Thanks for that post - I like to hear about the little things that we don't normally think of. The thing with your FH and the limo made me laugh, it's something I wouldn't have thought of.
And...
Everyone needs to relax. Every single time this subject comes up of getting your money back for the wedding everyone gets all uppity! You spend A LOT of money on a wedding, you can't not hope to get some of it back! It's not being greedy! People are obviously not having a wedding with the sole purpose of making money, but it is nice to get some back and lessen the burden a bit.



Very well said!
nferrandi Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

I have NO expectations of making back even half of what we're spending, but I am honestly hoping to receive enough to help pay off our honeymoon and have enough for a new bedroom set. Call me selfish, but I don't think that's asking too much.

Anniegrl Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Thanks for the tips! It would be great if everybody would do this.....

Now, what exactly is a double french bustle? I'm getting a french bustle, but would a double be better? Is it more money to do this?
JENNCHRIS Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

What's the difference between the bustles? I haven't had mine done yet.

missmmpr Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

I plan (hope) on having extra money to help refinish my basement and get some furniture for my house..I don't care if that sounds selfish
MrHostility Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently


Posted by StepherG


Posted by MrHostility

Sure it's a celebration of love, damn right, but you have to hope to get money back on it.




WHY? That's a strange comment.




It's just the way it is. Would you be hurt if you invited people to a birthday party for your child and they all showed up presentless? I know you are not going to respond, but I'm just putting something back out there for you to think about.
nrvbrd Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

While I personally was not hoping to make back the money I put in- I will admit that I was disappointed with some of the gifts- rather lack of gifts from people. That I think is downright rude

tourist Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

let's talk about another hot topic. . .

The Great Bustle Debate

I couldn't find any pictures with a little hanging below llike HearzBellz's, but here is the difference betwen bustle types, for those of you who asked.


ETA: I thin a double french bustl is just if you have a long train, to have it tucked under twice so none drags on the floor.
christy Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

It is nice to read an honest post! I was a flowerfield bride and I paid for 5 people that didnt show, and believe me...we did not get many generous gifts at all. FF was my gift! But it was worth it to me, I am in love with that place!

HappyEverAfter Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Heres something for all the BTB, I would have carried some tissues in my bouquet as I was going down the aisle. Of all the obsessing I did over little details, I did not think to bring a tissue. I cried the whole way down the aisle, while we did our vows, and had no tissue at the altar. I wanted to psssssst to my mom to have her bring me a tissue like I did when I was a kid
JENNCHRIS Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

thanks for the info on the bustles!

and hmichick I was thinking about the tissue thing, maybe I'll tuck one in the flowers or something... I know I'll be a boohooer
bride04 Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Thanks for the tips! Especially about the bustle. I have the same dress as you. What kind of bustle did you get? Do you have any pics? When I ordered my dress they recommended that the train gets turned under inside the dress so that you actually don't see the train or bustle at all. It just looks like a floor length dress without a train. Does that make sense?

sweetadeline Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Leaving aside the gift controversy and the Great Bustle Debate (!) I just wanted to say that I appreciated the tips. I also read Heartbellz' wedding review and thought it was really helpful! Thanks!

sun86moon Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Congrat! Glad you had a great time. As for the great Bustle Debate, I have my mom to thank. I ordered a gown with a detatchable train!

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