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Things I would have done differently

Original post by HearzBellz

OK, so we all do a review & they are very helpful, but I gotta share the things I really should have done differently (I am a Monday Morning quarterback through & through!)

First of all..... I would have looked around for better prices on my dress. Not only did I have a plethora of problems with my dress shop, but I saw my dress for $500 cheaper at another shop about 3 months before my wedding. This made me really mad, especially considering I was not paying for better service.

Also, I would have made my bustle come off the floor. I had only 2' of it as a mini-ail after thebustle & everyone was stepping on it! It is a Maggie Sotero with Swarsky (sp?) crystal detail at the hem & in the train, and people actually crushed them with their feet & they all fell off. If you get a french or inverted bustle, try to make it a double or 2-layer.

I would have had DH leave his house later. We almost saw eachother 3 times before the cermony, just b/c his limo kept catching up to mine. Thank goodness for Nextel, b/c the two-way was our saviour from that major mishap.

I would have made certain that the wish bowl & Signing frame were in a visible & trafficked area. Unfortunately, we did not join the cocktail hour & did not notice that these things were hidden in a corner, so no one signed our frame.

I would have told the hall 3 less people than we actually got yes responses. Essentially, we had to pay for dinners of those who did not show, & it is eaier to add a guest or two the day before.

I would have made sure my DJ had the photos for the video montage. There was a huge miscommunication bbetween me & the DJ & the videographer....each one of us thought the other had the pics....needless tosay we had no dinner photo montage. Not a major disaster, but the families would have liked it.

I would have had the jewlery appraised WAY before the wedding, so that way I would have been able to fight a bit harder for a proper price for our rings.

THE BIGGEST THING: I would not have expected to maek even 1/2 my $$ back to pay for the wedding. People, no matter how wealthy or not-wealthy they are, have a pre-determined number in their head of how much to give. Thank god I did not get married at Oheka or Flowerfields, we would have lost our shirts DH almost puked whn he totaled the gifts!!!! (We are generally very generous with such gifts, so he expected everyone else to be equally generous)

I definitely would have brought a list of pioctures that I wanted to have taken. We missed a lot of shots.

I would have had less people in the BP. DH family tradition is to have the youngest of each sets of sibling-cousins be in the BP. This made it huge and a little uncomfortable for us all since we did not all get along. Plus for me I would have loved to have more friends with me.

Be honest with the BP regarding what your expectations are for them. Tell them what you are paying for and what they will need to pay for. Tell them how you want or do not want their hair, make-up etc. Having a BM show up at the hotel the mornign of my wedding with MY wedding hair was not a pleasant scene.

Have 2 photographers, if available. I cannot tell you how many shots would have been missed if there was only one photographer.

I hope this helps!!!

ETA: It has been a couple of years since our wedding, but someone else posted this type of thread. Since the wedding, I do want to also say Do not sweat the small stupid things that happened on your day. Many of the 'FRIENDS' that caused issues that day ended up being flat-leavers down the road anyway. The day & all the days after are about you & your new family
JENNCHRIS Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

good thinkin sun86moon!
HearzBellz Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

I loved the detachable train idea, but I couldn't find one with a natural waist

It is sooooooo much easier though!
HearzBellz Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

A double bustle, to answer the question, is just a second row of ties to lift the train about 3' - 4' higher.

It actually makes a double or a two-tiered look in the back of the dress.

I don't know if I got any pics with the bustle to be honest with you , because I changed dresses for the Swing Band........ I'll see when I get my proofs if he got one
Moehick Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Glad to see everyone is off the $ thing. There were some really great ideas to think about...esp the bustle. My friends dress got ripped up on the back train from people stepping all over it.

Marcela1654 Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Great tips! Thank you
nov2004bride Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Posted by StepherG

Is how much money you made important? Shouldnt you plan a wedding based on the celebration not the return from guests? I guess I'm just different. I based my reception hall choice on what I could afford without giving any thought to gifts. JMO


JMO- I think everyone is sometimes a little tooo uptight.

Oh, Great tips!!I never thought of a double bustle. I need to get on this
MrsTC Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

you should never expect a certain amount...and this way you won't be disappointed

DH and I never 'expected' to make back about 85% of what we spent - but we did and were pleasantly surprised and overwhelmingly thankful!
HearzBellz Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

bumped for newer brides. Sorry about the $$ debate, it was not the intent of the post

tonimike Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Posted by HearzBellz

bumped for newer brides. Sorry about the $$ debate, it was not the intent of the post



I will throw myself out there & be a little different..

I am not getting married to make money , by no means. Im am getting married because I am in love,

But sure it would be nice to make some monety back for what we layed out, Is that all im looking for , no , & thats not all heartzbells was lookign for either , she just simply said a point ,,

I agree 200% with heartzbells, & I think that evryone who picked apart what she said about the money , well , what happen to the rest of her points...


Gezzzz they need to add a 'debate' thread here just so everyone can pick apart every litlttle thing ,,

jmo

& Im sure this will turn into a 12 page thread..
CLMon7906 Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

since this is a hindsight thread....i have to ask this question....

in the end, is it soo bad if the couple sees each other before the 'big moment'??? i mean, oops, he caught a glimpse of the woman he's in love with, the one person he is dedicating his life to forever...so he gets choked up in private instead of bawling away in front of 200 people....is that soo bad in the end??? I know it would mean a lot to me if FH could tell me these things right away (how great i look, how much he loves me and is looking forward to our day...) and tell me how nervous he is to be about to stand in front of all those people instead of finding out later and not be 'in the moment' where the confession loses it's appeal? wouldn't it be OK if your first moment together that day was in private and not broadcast in front of everyone else? i don't see why some people get sooo hung up over not seeing each other. in the end, if this plan gets spoiled, is it really a disaster?
soontobemrsc Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Posted by CLMon7906

since this is a hindsight thread....i have to ask this question....

in the end, is it soo bad if the couple sees each other before the 'big moment'??? i mean, oops, he caught a glimpse of the woman he's in love with, the one person he is dedicating his life to forever...so he gets choked up in private instead of bawling away in front of 200 people....is that soo bad in the end??? I know it would mean a lot to me if FH could tell me these things right away (how great i look, how much he loves me and is looking forward to our day...) and tell me how nervous he is to be about to stand in front of all those people instead of finding out later and not be 'in the moment' where the confession loses it's appeal? wouldn't it be OK if your first moment together that day was in private and not broadcast in front of everyone else? i don't see why some people get sooo hung up over not seeing each other. in the end, if this plan gets spoiled, is it really a disaster?


This is a good point. I was that bride that refused to let my husband see me before I walked down the aisle. When we first saw eachother we were emotional but there were so many people there and we were both so preoccupied with getting up on the alter, looking at the right camera etc that it was not as profound as I thought it would be. At that moment, your mind is racing and its impossible to stop for a moment and take it all in. In hindsight I think I would have like a truly private moment between the two of us before the ceremony.

Other than that I don't think there is anything I would have done differently. I had a perfect day and I wish I could do it all over again (except not spend all that money again! )

Although - I intended on doing slipper baskets but I got so busy and then so lazy that I tossed the idea. I wish I would have done that! My guests would have loved it!
cherish83 Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Thanks for all your points and advice!

ElegantBride Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

great pts

stephanielyse Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Posted by CLMon7906

since this is a hindsight thread....i have to ask this question....

in the end, is it soo bad if the couple sees each other before the 'big moment'??? i mean, oops, he caught a glimpse of the woman he's in love with, the one person he is dedicating his life to forever...so he gets choked up in private instead of bawling away in front of 200 people....is that soo bad in the end??? I know it would mean a lot to me if FH could tell me these things right away (how great i look, how much he loves me and is looking forward to our day...) and tell me how nervous he is to be about to stand in front of all those people instead of finding out later and not be 'in the moment' where the confession loses it's appeal? wouldn't it be OK if your first moment together that day was in private and not broadcast in front of everyone else? i don't see why some people get sooo hung up over not seeing each other. in the end, if this plan gets spoiled, is it really a disaster?


I am so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I saw DH when I first arrived at the RH in full hair and makeup, but not yet dressed (obviously dressed, but in sweats) and I don't know if it helped him, but it REALLY made a difference for me - I was so nervous before, but it calmed me down and helped me realize that the day was about marrying the man I love, not about the crazy party.
chander618 Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Thanks for all the tips

sparklehorse Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Posted by HearzBellz

Also, I would have made my bustle come off the floor. I had only 2' of it as a mini-ail after thebustle & everyone was stepping on it! It is a Maggie Sotero with Swarsky (sp?) crystal detail at the hem & in the train, and people actually crushed them with their feet & they all fell off. If you get a french or inverted bustle, try to make it a double or 2-layer.


Thanks for the tip. I decided to get a double French bustle for this reason. I have a Kenneth Pool dress with a train that has detailing. I don't think the double bustle looks as pretty, but it's should minimize people stepping on the back of my dress. My biggest concern is if the bustle were to get stepped on and rip I don't know how I'd dance with out tripping.
BKtoLI Posted:

Re: Things I would have done differently

Posted by CLMon7906

since this is a hindsight thread....i have to ask this question....

in the end, is it soo bad if the couple sees each other before the 'big moment'??? i mean, oops, he caught a glimpse of the woman he's in love with, the one person he is dedicating his life to forever...so he gets choked up in private instead of bawling away in front of 200 people....is that soo bad in the end??? I know it would mean a lot to me if FH could tell me these things right away (how great i look, how much he loves me and is looking forward to our day...) and tell me how nervous he is to be about to stand in front of all those people instead of finding out later and not be 'in the moment' where the confession loses it's appeal? wouldn't it be OK if your first moment together that day was in private and not broadcast in front of everyone else? i don't see why some people get sooo hung up over not seeing each other. in the end, if this plan gets spoiled, is it really a disaster?


It's not a disaster at all. I think some people just have that moment built up in their head from when they were little.

We took pictures beforehand, and in no way or by any means did it take away from that moment of seeing his face when I was walking down the aisle. My heart was still beating out of my chest before the doors opened for me & my father. Everyone still got choked up, including the BP that was taking pics with us.

I think less people would stress the whole not seeing each other until you walk down the aisle thing if they knew where the tradition came from.

It started with arranged marriages, to prevent either party from walking out on the wedding. It was not until their wedding day that they finally got to see each other to get married. With that into consideration, it was one tradition that I didn't mind breaking!!!

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