think i am goin to cry....

my parents are stressing me out like its no ones business....

they had a total freak attack about my invites.

last week i placed the order for them - and i put 'along withtheir families' and than mine & mattys names etc - we are hosting our own wedding - our parents did not pay for anything.

so - last week i sent the wording via email to - my dad, my sister, matts mom, matts sister - everyone loved it - my dad never responded. this morning i walk into work - and he send me the BS thing fromal wedding etiquette site saying that it does not matter who pays if its the brides first wedding and its formal the parents names go on it. so we email back and forth a few things - my father is a man of few words - but they hit hard and i am SOOO his daughter - but you can totally feel the tension through email.
so i decide to call my mother - see what she thinks. the woman just SCREAMed @ me on the phone....what a slap in our face - you treat us like sh!t - you do this w/ everything - you do something and than ask questions later - blah blah blah - of course i think me & your father belong on that invite - blah balh blah - so what we didnt pay?? we havent helped you?? we have been bad parents?? so i hang up on her - cause seriously my parents make me feel like they couldnt give less of a sh!t about my wedding. i am being dead honest. 'ma do you want to go dress shopping next week? - i dont know i hate those shops, i hate the appointments, why do have to have an apponintment? blah blah blah' - so i go dress shopping w/ my sister like 3 months later - buy my dress - and i duped her??? i get a song and a dance w/ EVERYTHING with my mother - my father is like everytime you mention the wedding he thinks its a total waste of money - you kids are spending so much money blah blah.

they are going to give me a nervous breakdown....i know they are.....

awwww!!!!! lisdten it will blow over. the wprding i chose for my invies didnt get the best response, but at the end of the day it didnt matter.

try to relax. i know its sooooo stressful. trust me i know. but they will get over it. please dont worry. invites are ordered, there is nothing you can do about it now.

i promise it will be fine.

well - i contacted the lady who is doing the invites and she said she could change it - she only begun developing the sample.

but FH is hell bent on no parents. he is like - 'why didnt my parents blow a fit? they are not on their either. ' and he goes on to say my parents control every decision i make lately and it makes him crazy.


what do i do????

It's a piece of paper that people are going to throw out. Seriously - if you want the wording to say 'Together with our parents' they will get over it. I'm so sorry that things have been so difficult. I really wish that I had better advice for you.

I am so sorry Tricia! In the end it is your day. People will have to deal. No one should be making this more stressful for you, regardless of who they are. If you want it to say 'Together with our families' then so be it. Your parents will get over it. If they don't, it's their loss. I know it's hard but you should have the wedding you want.

****UPDATE*****

my father has an amazing ability to calm me down - (even though ironically he started the whole thing) - after much debating he just said do what you want.

so i have decided to include their names - after mine & mattys

so it will say

together with their families
tricia
& matt

children of
dad & mom
&
dad & mom

request the honor of your presence @ their wedding


so - do you all think that is a fair compromise??

I'd say that it's a fair compromise.
How do you feel about it? As long as it makes you happy, that's great. And if it keeps the peace - even better!

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

I'd say that it's a fair compromise.
How do you feel about it? As long as it makes you happy, that's great. And if it keeps the peace - even better!

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i am fine with it - because like you said - it keeps the peace. and FH was fine with it too - so it made me feel even better. and not the reluctant fine - like - whatever - but a yes - it sounds fair.

thanks for listening and caring - i am hitting such a stress patch - and i still have so far to go!!

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Posted by mtdr1106

thanks for listening and caring - i am hitting such a stress patch - and i still have so far to go!!

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I remember being there myself! We'll get you through it. In the end, there will tons of these and it will be worth it.

I'm glad you solved everything...but i have to say i see your mothers point....I know my mother will help me big time with my wedding...however future FH's dad will do the rehearsal dinner....I will put both sets of parents names on there (however my discussion will come b/c his mother has passed and dad is remarried)...but anyhoo...I will put there names there only for the purpose of acknowledging them as the parents and being so proud they raised a lil girl who is ready to marry (with the help of their wallet or not)

and not that I wanna be one of those crazy mothers...but I will want to be on my child's invite too

Either way though....I am glad you worked it out.....and try to deal with your mother....she changed diapers raised you...try to give her some of the patience (no matter how hard) that she gave you over the years (no matter how hard that was too hehe)

WOW. glad you reached a compromise everyone liked.

sorry for the stress.

I'm so sorry Tricia. We went back and forth over the same issue with our invites but ultimately decided to just have our names on it, no parents at all. I think the compromise you came up with should make everyone happy. Easier said than done but don't let anyone stress you like this because you have enough anxiety with November being just around the corner.

wow are you sure we aren't related? that TOTALLY sounds like some definite cr@p my parents would pull...especially my mother..