this is what I come home to????

megan_gallagher Posted: May 03, 2009 12:36 AM

this is what I come home to????

shouldn't i be happy right now!? we booked the church and are supposed to book the hall tomorrow, but instead i walk into my house and my mother gives me **** because the ONLY time the church had open was 1pm and we're booking the hall for 7:00... she NOW wants us to do an earlier reception! I CAN'T TAKE THIS! what should be a HAPPY time is now leaving me here typing this HYSTERICALLY crying!
Fh's mother said the same thing, but we put our foot down and for me to come home at 12:00am after a LONG day and my mother to start 'can't the church do a diff time?' (umm NO) 'well can't you have an earlier party'? NO!!!
so she called me an a$$hole and went up to bed (mind you this is the 4th time today she told me off because she doesn't listen when i talk to her and when i EXPLAIN how MY WEDDING is going to be)
If I wanted an earlier party we would have booked the sunday at the hall we ORIGINALLY wanted, but my parents talked us out of that one!!!!
I CAN'T WIN!

so now tomorrow I'm going to have to hear my father, who'll be even WORSE, then we're ALL (my parents and his) are going to book the hall... so I KNOW we're going to fight and I'll storm out in tears!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

MrsCM Posted: May 03, 2009 12:55 AM

Re: this is what I come home to????

You need to take some space from your parents and do what YOU want!

FutureMrsG Posted: May 03, 2009 02:18 AM

Re: this is what I come home to????

Don't let your mom get to you- When I first started wedding planning I fought with my mom a lot and I was miserable...I finally just started to ignore her negative comments and things were a little better. Now a year later she does not even remember that she disagreed with my choices. Wedding planning is VERY stressful and it will bring out the worst in people but it is your day so make sure you have the things that are important to you.

valthom426 Posted: May 03, 2009 09:31 AM

Re: this is what I come home to????

Who's wedding is this? It's yours and it only matters to the two of you. You and FH need to sit down, alone and in a quiet and calm environment and decide what you want. Then do what you want.

The stretch between the church and the reception happens to A LOT of people. The trick is to use your time wisely. This is an opportunity for your guests to freshen up before the reception or maybe go have some drinks (not too many!) before the reception at the hotel. It's a great time for you to get all your photos done before the partying starts.

You are not going to make everyone happy. Face it now. Anyone calling anyone else names is childish and it's unacceptable behavior. You and your FH near to set boundaries now.

springsandra Posted: May 03, 2009 09:31 AM

Re: this is what I come home to????

I'm so sorry you're going through this!!!!!!!!!!

Just take a deep breath and do whatever it is you want to do. They will show up, no matter when you book everything for.

They have a year and a half, nearly, to get used to the whole idea and plan the day out to make it perfect for them as well. Hopefully, you can calmly remind them of that, and they can start their planning now.

Plus, you'll be able to do all the wonderful pictures in between! Your mom and MIL will get to re-do their makeup, and even change dresses too! There are so many nice things about the way things are falling into place for you!

They'll start to realize all the great parts of how your amazing day will turn out and back off. Some people always want to control things so it takes a little time.

mbscheer Posted: May 03, 2009 09:37 AM

Re: this is what I come home to????

I am so sorry you are having a bad day

20mrsc10 Posted: May 03, 2009 09:50 AM

Re: this is what I come home to????

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: May 03, 2009 10:01 AM

Re: this is what I come home to????

I am so sorry you are going through this. Your parents and his need to chill out.

HOwever, I have read a lot of your posts and it seems like the drama is never ending. Maybe you guys need to reevaluate the wedding and the parents place in it. If they are giving $$$ but calling the shots, that's a huge issue that will NOT go away at any point in the planning.

You guys need to be firm in this situation. Wedding or no wedding, you need to put your foot down. If you can't afford the wedding without their help, and its causing this much distress, you may want to reconsider holding off till you don't need their help.

This is some shitt my family or would never pull, but god forbid they did, I'd have NOOOOO problem putting them in their place.

Good luck

misswitty Posted: May 03, 2009 10:28 AM

Re: this is what I come home to????

EAT CHOCOLATE!

And then, try to take a break from all of this for a bit - go to the gym, take a walk, take a drive to the beach, go to the mall, anything. Just take some time for you.

Marianne13 Posted: May 03, 2009 11:06 AM

Re: this is what I come home to????

There is always a big gap between the Church and the reception. My Church is at 2 and my CH starts at 6:30. The gap is a little bit shorter than yours but it's the same idea. People who live near the Church will go home and change and get ready. Others will find something to do or go back to the hotel to get ready.

Don't worry about it. It's your wedding.

drivwal Posted: May 03, 2009 11:09 AM

Re: this is what I come home to????

Posted by seawedding

You need to take some space from your parents and do what YOU want!

I couldn't agree more!

JAAMS Posted: May 03, 2009 11:36 AM

Re: this is what I come home to????

Wow, I'm so sorry that this is happening!

You need to proceed and do the wedding the way YOU want, because this is your day, and you and FH need to look back and be happy with everything.

Juhgail Posted: May 03, 2009 12:08 PM

Re: this is what I come home to????

Do what you want, not what THEY want.

Sit down with them and explain why you want the later party. Tell you understand their concerns, but this is what YOU want.

sucrets4 Posted: May 03, 2009 02:45 PM

Re: this is what I come home to????

I'm going to have to disagree with everyone so far.

First off, I'm sorry that you're upset. I think that it's a fairy tale that wedding planning is wonderful and stress free - it's quite the opposite!

Yes, it is a day celebrating you and your FI, but you do have to be considerate of your guests. A 5 hour gap is disrespectful to them.

It sounds like you have had other stresses with your parents, but you have to decide what's important to you. Do you have to get married at the church? What about having the ceremony at your venue?

Calm down and start thinking critically and things will work out for you and your guests. GL!

kris01 Posted: May 03, 2009 03:28 PM

Re: this is what I come home to????

SO sorry you are going thru this!!!

Just so you know..my church was at 1:30 and my CH started at 6:30 and EVERYONE gave me hell about this but it ended up working out perfect! We took pics with the bridal party in between.
and who did come to the church, some people went home, Some people went back to my mom's for coffee and cookies..some went back to my SIL's and other went to the hotel to change and relax for a bit.
Not everyone came to the church and I didn't care.

Don't worry about the gap!! Just worry about you and FH its your day and do what you want to do!!

stefandken Posted: May 03, 2009 05:40 PM

Re: this is what I come home to????

my church is at 1 and my cocktail hour dosn't start until 6... you need to do what you want and what makes you happy and comfortable... i like the time in between b/c it gives me time to take pictures and i wont have to be running around like a chicken without its head.. ill be more relaxed and enjoy my day more