This is why young children should not be at weddings
Original post by 2009wedding
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My fmil and I were talking last night she said that her daughter which is my fsil wants to know if her 3 1/2 year old daughter gets tired can she go up to the bridal suite and sleep. I couldn't believe I was being asked this. The bridal suite is for me and my girls and the grrom suite is for the grrom and his guys. Then my fmil said she would stay with her granddaughter if they brought her up to the room which I was mad about cause she is the groom's Mom she should be at the wedding and be there for everything not watch her daughter's child. The child's mother should watch her or not bring her to the wedding if she feels the child is going to get tired and start acting up. My flower girl is 3 1/2 years old and she will be fine cause she has had to stay out until 12am before. I am so mad about this. I already told my RH to make sure that only my girls and I have the code to get into the bridal suite and to not allow anyone else in my room with out me there. I swear sometimes I do not understand my fh's family. This was just wrong of them to think that this would be alright with me. If the child gets tired she can bring her up to the grooms suite not my room. I do not trust my fsil or her children near my personal things or my girls personal things that we are going to have with us that day. That is my space and I am keeping it that way. My parents were pissed when I told them what his family wanted from me my Mom was like what the heck is wrong with these people do they stay up all night thinking of ways to wreck your wedding or to make you unhappy.
Dani777
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Re: This is why young children should not be at weddings
Posted by 2009wedding
I already told fh no if and or but his niece is staying in the grooms suite if she needs to sleep there is no way my girls and I are going to allow her in my bridal suite and my parents will not allow it either. My parents said they will get involved if they are found in my bridal suite with out me or my parents knowing about it. Our personal stuff will be in there that day so she is only aloud in the grooms suite and that is that. I am not giving into this since I am paying for the RH with my parents. My fh has put in a little bit of money for the RH. I will be telling my fmil the only room her granddaughter can stay in is the groom suite or have her daughter bring a stroler with her and have her child sleep in that. I am not allowing anyone up in the bridla suite and that is what I want. My parents said that is the way it should be and they have no right expecting you to give up your bridal suite for the child to sleep in when I paid for the RH. If they helped pay for it then that would be different but they didn't for whatever reasons which I understand but they have no right to control my day or even expect anything from me. I am not giving in. I am not being walked all over someone needs to say no to her.
If this is truely something that you value then yes..I would stand firm. but why is it that you do not trust her? She will be your family...so will you be afraid to leave her alone in a room in your house in the future? I don't know...that seems sorta harsh. Do the two of you get along at all? And how come she doesn't want the grooms suite to be used for this same purpose? Lastly, I don't thnk you'll be in the bridal suite at all once the party starts. Less to go to the bathroom. lol. Does that room have a safe..? Mine does.... so anyone can go up there...
2009wedding
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Re: This is why young children should not be at weddings
No I do not trust my fsil. She hates me so why should I trust someone that hates me. She has done a lot of things to me and she has done a lot of things to my family. I will never trust her until she changes and tries to make things right but she won't she doesn't have it in her to do so she just loves make me feel worthless and making my life hell. I see her every weekend to watch her children and I see her for the holidays (Jewish holidays, and Catholic holidays). I told my fh I would try again to be friends with her after the wedding when she has nothing to control or make a nightmare. I also told him if she wrecks the rehearsal dinner or does anything wrong that he has to give me his word on that I do not have to have any relationship with her at all he said ok. If my fsil ever earns my trust back that is when I will trust her again she has broken my trust over and over again and has made it very clear she hates that I am with her brother and wants me out of his life cause she hates me. I don't hate her I just think she is not well. I would love to be friends with her and have a close relationship with my fsil but I can't see that happening until she changes.
Dani777
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Re: This is why young children should not be at weddings
Posted by 2009wedding
No I do not trust my fsil. She hates me so why should I trust someone that hates me. She has done a lot of things to me and she has done a lot of things to my family. I will never trust her until she changes and tries to make things right but she won't she doesn't have it in her to do so she just loves make me feel worthless and making my life hell. I see her every weekend to watch her children and I see her for the holidays (Jewish holidays, and Catholic holidays). I told my fh I would try again to be friends with her after the wedding when she has nothing to control or make a nightmare. I also told him if she wrecks the rehearsal dinner or does anything wrong that he has to give me his word on that I do not have to have any relationship with her at all he said ok. If my fsil ever earns my trust back that is when I will trust her again she has broken my trust over and over again and has made it very clear she hates that I am with her brother and wants me out of his life cause she hates me. I don't hate her I just think she is not well. I would love to be friends with her and have a close relationship with my fsil but I can't see that happening until she changes.
Why does she hate you so much? And, what else has she done in the past? You dno't have to share if you dno't want to...
Re: This is why young children should not be at weddings
That's why NOOOOO kids at my wedding. It's no fun for the kid or the parents. Tell them to find a babysitter.
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: This is why young children should not be at weddings
This sounds like a bigger issue than a little girl sleeping in a bridal suite..i suggest you get to the root of the issues rather than letting this one incident be the cause of so much drama for you.
Jessiegrl
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Re: This is why young children should not be at weddings
It seems like there is way more to this story, and you disliking your FMIL is not really anyone business. That's just my opinion. As for what you posted..if she choose to sit in the bridal suite 'babysitting' her granddaughter that is her choice. She is the one missing her sons wedding, and she is the one that is going to look silly. No reason for that at all IMO. I understand it's a late night for a child #1..keep them home, I'm sorry but they do not belong at an event like that. #2...bring a stroller and let the kid sleep. There is no reason for your FMIL to be stuck in the room all night. Sounds like they just want to get under your skin..which they are doing. Don't let them get to you. Let it roll off your back! Let her sit up their all night if that is what she chooses!
