So I met with a florist for the first time the other day. Her work is amazing and she was willing to work with our budget! I'm still going to meet with other florists just to be safe but I think she might be the florist we end up working with! woohoo! One thing she said at our meeting kind of bothered me though. I went to meet with her by myself. FI is very involved with all of our plans, but we agreed he didn't need to come to the florist meetings until we pick someone. This was actually my idea and when i told him he looked so relieved haha. When i told the florist about why FI didn't come with me she said thats totally normal, but that she was very surprised that i didn't bring my mom because most brides bring their moms with them. It really didn't even occur to me to bring my mom.. I have always been really independent. My mom and I are very close but i generally always did big things on my own. my parents never really helped me move or anything like that. I just prefer to do things myself. I brought my mom to the Riviera the first time we went to go see it and she totally stressed me out. We have also gotten into some arguments about the dress. I just wanted other brides opinion. Should i go more out of my way to involve my mom in this stuff? Or maybe my mom should have asked to come with me? Maybe I'm over reacting (and please tell me if i am) but that comment really stuck with me.
sorry for the long post!
Alannah22
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
I think you should do things however you feel comfortable doing them. I actually can't believe that a vendor would say that to you! My mom and I are very close, but I haven't brought her to see any vendors. I ony brought her to the RH after FH and I decided that it was the one. I like to do things on my own too and I have an idea of how I like it done. I think you should let this comment roll off your back and just keep doing things the way you have been.
mara1017
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
It totally depends on your relationship with your mom. I am bringing my mom to look at dresses (not really willingly but more because I feel like u have to) but that really is it. Don't get me wrong I love her to death but we don't see eye to eye when it comes to alot of things.
People feel the need to butt in and tell you what you should do. Do what you want and feels right not what someone else thinks u should do
S00n2beWifey
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable with...I dont take my mom every where with me either nor do I think I will. I would take her though (for example) when I already made a decision on the florist and maybe picked my centerpeices and stuff to see what she thinks for sure, but you dont need to take her everywhere with you when your not even sure if thats the florist your def going to go with yourself, you know?? But if you really are in question, why dont you ask your mom? Maybe she would like to be more involved she just doesnt want to force herself into your plans?? Thats what I would do... HTH!!!!!
FutureMrsGTL
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
I agree with the other girls.. whatever you feel comfortable with. Me and my mom are VERY close.. I go to her house and/or call her daily! but I never thought to bring her with me to see vendors either... I ask her opinion after I speak to them, on pricing and negotiating...she hasnt even seen my RH that I booked like 8 months ago lol
EmilyandPeter
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
First off.. I am sorry that a vendor said anything like that.
Second, I'm very close with my mom, but I only brought her to see the RH after I paid my deposit. My parents are not paying for anything and I want FH and I to make all the decisions without being swayed by anyone. I think it is totally normal to do things on your own. Only you and FH know your style or what you want. If you are happy doing things on your own, then I say do what you want.
MrsJPH2012
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
Don't let what the vendor said bother you... I'm sure she didn't mean anything negative by it. She probably just see's a lot of brides come with someone else to bounce ideas off of, whether its the FH, a mom or MOH.
FH isn't coming with me to our floral appt bc he won't be in town, but I plan on bringing my mom. I do not want my mom's opinion, nor is she paying for it, but she's just so damn excited about everything that I couldn't imagine going by myself. So If you don't feel the need to bring your mom to meetings, then don' t bc the last thing you need is to be stressed out. You should know your own mother enough to figure out where she belongs in the planning process.
5272012
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
Wow i am surprised she said that!
So far my FH and I have done everything together (rh and photo). we brought both sets of parents to the RH after we narrowed it down to 2 to get an opinion. I also brought my mom with me to show my MOH and one bridesmaid the place :)
I am prob bringing my mom to flowers because hey, i am indecisive and cant make a decision for the life of me and i know FH will not go with me there.. but hey, thats just me!
I dont think you are doing anything wrong at all!!!
rnesenoff
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
my mom wanted to be more involved so i invited her to things but this pushed away my FH from coming - i regret him not being there for the whole process. Please do what you want - not what others feel they want so that they can control
midnight26
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
well, my mom's in FL, but if she were here I don't think I'd want to bring her even though we're close. She'd die if she saw the prices of things and she doesnt really know much about weddings nowadays...but that's my personal situation.
if you have a mom who is into this stuff, and understands it, it could be nice to have her do some stuff with you. but it's your choice. it doesn't have to be every little thing you do, but maybe some things would make her feel involved.
KristynLeigh
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
I'm not bringing my mom to too much. We definitely have a different vision of my wedding and all bringing her everywhere will do is stress us both out. Basically I involve her after I decide things.
jenclifwed
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
hi everyone,
Thank you all so much for your advice. It really makes me feel so much better to know I'm not the only one who does this stuff on their own. I got scared that maybe i should be getting her more involved in stuff. I feel so much better about this now haha thank you girls!
courtneydemarco12
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
Don't let what the vendor said bother you. If you are the type of person who wants and needs to do things on your own with out invovling your mom or anyone do what is best for you. I am the same way , both FH and I are like that so it is only after we have made our descision are any one in our families about what we did or paid for. Everyone may have their own opinions but since it is your wedding and you and FH need to enjoy your day, do what is best for you.
ChristineNorah
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
First of all this vendor should have never made such a remark to you, a comment like that is very presumptuous. I think you need to do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. Wedding planning is already stressful, the last thing you need is to stress yourself any further. I am very close with my mother and she has yet to see my reception hall. Good luck and I am sorry that vendor made you question yourself.
Ernial63012
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
I wouldnt let what she said bother you. Its your decision to make. I personally want my mother included as much as possible because I'm an only child and this is her only wedding to be included in. Even though sometimes when i talk to her about it I dont think shes interested lol. If your an indapendent person your mother should know that and if she wanted to come she should just mention it to you. Its your wedding do what you want!
thefloreswedding
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
do what you feel...if you want her involved bring her in !
i would love to bring my mom but she stresses me out too....instead of helping she makes it worse (sorry to say) i think i would tell her to come with me AFTER i book the florist...you know to help me pick out the colors etc....because i still want to include her in something you know?
MrsMikeyT
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
I worked in a flower shop for 10 years... I have no idea why they'd be surprised not to see your mom.. unless they know her personally why would they expect to see her? Most brides come with their FH or come alone the 1st time then bring someone to help with final decisions, like you said.... wierd.
I don't take my mom with me anywhere, because we've both come to terms with the fact that she's going to stress me out, then get upset b/c I'd get upset, blah blah blah. She knows I wouldn't make a big decision w/o asking her opinion, but I can't have her there to pick the things I'm going to be deciding between, if that makes sense.
Watermelon5
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
Me personally, i am super close w/ my mom but me and FH are attending all of the appointments together. i ask for my moms input but at the end of the day me and FH need to be happy so thats that lol. do w/e YOU want to do dont let someone dictate to you what your relationship should/should not be like!!!
bella_bride
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
I am surprised by the vendors comment - you should always be careful when referencing parents... what if a bride doesn't speak to her mom, or her mom is in heaven?
My mom and I have a great relationship, but I have decided that I will go to all vendors either alone or with my FH. I can be easily persuaded and it's tough for me to make a decision when I have to many opinions...
Although, I will take my mom for my dress because I know that will mean the world to her
I think whatever you feel comfortable with is the way to go.. GL!
vickyp0o1215
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Re: this kind of bothered me...
Im just surprised a vendor would say that simply bc u never know a persons situation.. u may not be close with ur mother or god forbid she may even be deceased.. so obviously she was not thinking when she said that ! ..
If your mother is paying for something I would definitely take her to the appt.. other than that its your call... my parents are not helping to buy anything but my dress.. fh and i will be going to all the apt alone...
