This may sound really stupid, but

Some of the people I work with told me what they are wearing for my wedidng, and I am kinda dissapointed. (See I told you it was stupid.) They are both wearing short dresses that are more appropriate if you are going out to a fancy dinner, than to a formal evening wedding.
My boss said she is going to wear this tie-dye (not crazy 70's tie-dye) dress, which is very pretty, is more suitable for an afternoon wedding.
It makes me feel like they don't think my day is that special, like 'why put on our nice stuff', which I know they have. (We work at a fashion magazine, where we are encouraged to wear high-end designer clothes.)
We are all very close, so it bothers me. I can't say anything for fear of sound like a real bridezilla.
Would it bother you if you were having a formal wedding?

Hey, at least you know what they'll wear. Some people get surprises on the very day. The only thing I say is don't worry about it. They'll feel very foolish once they see everyone else is nicely dressed, and they're more casual. If anything, you can drop that hint at them, so save them from being embarrassed.

In the grand scheme of things that night you probably won't even notice. Besides, if they are underderessed THEY will notice and feel stupid.

But I can understand your point of feeling like they are slighting the formalness of your day. I wouldn't say anything to them though, JMO.

Good luck!

I totally understand and dont think its stupid at all!!!! My FMIL wants to find something so plain and simple its going to look like something she wears to everyone elses wedding ( and has commented how she would like to be able to wear it again to other weddings )

I am also VERY nervous of how some of our friends and family are going to show up... it is a little offensive that they dont think our affairs are 'formal' enough for their ' good clothes' lol

I'm only laughing because I can totally relate. I always am disapointed in my friends' choice of attire for other people weddings.

One friend wore a skirt & sweater for a Saturday evening & Sunday Morning wedding.
Both in catering halls.

One friend commented on a wedding she went to that 'everyone was wearing prom dreses, is that a Staten Island thing?'
I laughed, but she wore the outfit she wore to the same Sat. night wedding mentioned above, and it was a shiny shirt & skirt. pretty, but I didn't think it was approriate.

I don't care if someone wears a coctail length dress in the evening, but it shouldn't be soemthing you'd wear to work. But I'm also a no blck to a weding person, and most peopel don't care about htat either.

I won' t take it personally though. People just see thigns diferently & some don't see clothes are important.

Although you'd think your fashion magazine coworkers would

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Posted by fashionhag

I don't understand this at all. Who cares what other people wear at your wedding? As long as family and the bridal party dress apprpriately, why give a damn? You are not going to even notice it.

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Its not so much that we will notice it.. its how the consider our wedding to not be as 'formal' as it is for whatever reason

I have found that people don't get very dressed up for weddings anymore. It is disappointing but you can't really do anything about people's garb!!

I have people coming up from down south for my wedding and Ill be preparing for the worst.!!

My uncle are all wearing tuxes... but I know that FI's uncle would think I wascrazy if I asked them to do the same!!

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

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Posted by fashionhag

I don't understand this at all. Who cares what other people wear at your wedding? As long as family and the bridal party dress apprpriately, why give a damn? You are not going to even notice it.

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Its not so much that we will notice it.. its how the consider our wedding to not be as 'formal' as it is for whatever reason

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Why does that matter?

If she wanted people to wear gowns, she would have put 'Black Tie Required' and then people would wear gala type of dresses. But often I think we, as the brides, are too concerned with silly things when we should really be enjoying the celebration. Do you get what I mean?

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Posted by Uloveit22

Besides, if they are underderessed THEY will notice and feel stupid.

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My skirt wearing friend's don't think they were underdressed.

well, just be glad that they dont' take my uncle's fashion advice and wear skin-tight (oh, and i mean painted on skin-tight) jeans to the wedding!!!!!
I thought it was a little inappropriate, but honestly, I was happy he could make it in from Arizona...and it gives me one more reason to tease him. But that's the kind of thing I would expect from him.....he wore jeans to his own wedding.

I would be a little bothered if I were in your situation.....but I would also not be willing to say anything to them about it

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Posted by tourist

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Posted by Uloveit22

Besides, if they are underderessed THEY will notice and feel stupid.

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My skirt wearing friend's don't think they were underdressed.

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Your friends may not but hers are into fashion apparently and work for a fashion mag where they know the trends...I think they'd notice.

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Posted by fashionhag

I don't understand this at all. Who cares what other people wear at your wedding? As long as family and the bridal party dress apprpriately, why give a damn? You are not going to even notice it.

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I know, I told you it's stupid. But I have issues as a middle child, that people never make a big deal out of things that are important to me. Countless things throughtout my life, have made me a bit insecure.
Anyway, I am just hurt that they don't think my day is that special. I see how they get dressed up for other people's weddings, so why not mine?

Did you put 'formal reception' on the reception card, or 'black tie optional' or 'black tie requested'?
Not every evening wedding is considered 'formal', so maybe they don't realize. Maybe you can let it 'slip' that it's a formal reception. Like someone else said, it shouldn't ruin your whole day, I'm sure others will know it's more formal and you probably won't even notice.

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Posted by bridzilla
I know, I told you it's stupid. But I have issues as a middle child, that people never make a big deal out of things that are important to me. Countless things throughtout my life, have made me a bit insecure.
Anyway, I am just hurt that they don't think my day is that special. I see how they get dressed up for other people's weddings, so why not mine?

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Oh lord...girl, stop translating their behavior that way. Just because they are not dressing up the way you thnik they should DOES NOT mean they are not taking your day seriously. Not all weddings have the same dress code. I have seen weddings take place in garden where people wore white shorts and polo shirts. It has NOTHING to do with anyone not taking your special day seriously. You are going to drive yourself nuts if you keep thinking like that.

Please, go home and have a glass of champagne, and stop worrying about it.