This morning's realization...

This is 'MY' wedding and that is exactly what it is to everyone else...'MY' wedding...
Sure they are excited and want to help---when it is convenient for them but, in the end...do they care as much as I do-no. Will it be a big deal in their life if my wedding is not perfect-no.
So, I guess I just need to accept this fact and realize that MY wedding is only a big deal in MY life (and maybe FH's ) but, as for my friends, bm's, mohs etc....it really is just another event for them.

Does anyone else feel like this or am i being too pessimistic? Also, do you find that people have surprised you...that those you thought would be right there with you, aren't and those you thought would be too busy or not interested, are?

I'm totally with you. I'm about 12 days away from the big day and I feel the same way. Nothing is going to be perfect, and nobody will know if somethings aren't exactly the way I want them and it won't be a big deal.
And it's true, some people who I thought would be there for me haven't been. It's been a learning experience all the way.

Annie

I am totally in agreement with you. I (we) have done most of the work ourselves for the planning. We realized early on that interfeering do gooders were causeing too much stress.

My mom was a big part of helping me with EVERYTHING, but I totally know what you are talking about. Everyone has their own life and it would be nice if they were there more, but sometimes when something is not about them, then they just dont care.

I agree 100% too!!! We can't expect people to be as wrapped up and excited about our weddings as we are.

BUT!!!! I think there are some people that we expect to be happy for us, there for us, and want to share some of the planning with us, like shopping for dresses, etc. These people are usually a close family member or 'best' friend. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect this of them. I think it's because we know we would do the same for them if it was their wedding or special event.

I said this in another post. You find out who your true friends are when you are at your lowest point, and when you are at your highest point. If your friend can't share your happiness because of jealousy or whatever, it really hurts and that's not a true friend in my book.

My 'best' friend and I have come to the end of our 22 year friendship because of a minor guest list issue. I know deep down that the guest list was only a convenient way out for her, as she has not been on board with anything since day 1. She has been consumed with jealousy and avoided me like the plague. I found out she really isn't a friend at all.

So I think Weddings bring out the issues that are underlying in all your relationships with family and friends. I'm trying to be positive and look at it as a weeding out process before I start my new life with my husband. I'll only be taking TRUE friends with me into my new life. The others, whose true colors came out during the past year, will be left behind.

It's still an emotional strain, though.

KarenM

Karen,
I totally hear what you are saying. I had two friends of 25 years (they lived out of state) respond they were coming and call me with an excuse the week of and stick me with their dinners that I had already paid for. I have realized now what fair weather friends they were. I think I read your post about what happened. As dissapointing and sad as it is, just know it does happen to alot of us. A very good friend of mine, her maid of honor and her got in a fight one month before her wedding. They were friends for over 30 years. They havent spoken since. It does happen. It made me realize I was hanging on to those friendships that should of been let go a long time ago. Lots of luck to you!

I AGREE! Our friends have shown their true colors, as in, they all have no clue why we would get married when everything was going well how it was. W T F ? And my mother, well, isn't it like the greatest thing for your daughter to be getting married? I mean, I would think so. Her and my father LOVE FH, and there's no money issues or anything, but my mother has taken it to be that now she is old rather than, oh yay my baby is getting married! Everyone is more concerned with other things these days, and I just don't care anymore. That's why I post on here! I can get the true excitement that I need to hear in the responses from you girls! I think it takes a bride to be or a recent bride to share the enthusiasm and understanding of what goes into the planning. So don't worry, maybe you won't be as excited when THEY get married. You never know! In the meantime.... We are EXCITED!