Those who have lost a pet...

So my cat who has been living with my mother since I got married is dying. My mother and I are both really upset since we had him for 16 years. She said lately now I will be all alone (parents are divorced and my cat was her baby). I suggested getting a new cat (maybe an older cat who isn't as wild as a kitten), but she said she didn't know, she knew our cat so well and wouldn't know what a new cat's personality would be like...

So my question is this--if you lost a pet, did you wait a while to replace it (to grieve), replace it immediately, or not replace it at all?

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

We had a similar situation.

My cat was 19 1/2 when we finally had to put him to sleep. My mom had recently moved to another apartment and couldn't bring the cat with her so my brother took him. My mom was alone and hated it. Now that she can get another cat, she really doesn't want to so we never did 'replace' Roscoe. I'd give it time, see if your mom doesn't get used to being by herself.

And to you - it's so hard to lose a pet!!

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

First of all, I'm sorry.

When I lost my cat, I believe I got my current dog after like two years. I moved from where I had the cat and the new place allowed dogs, so my dh decided to get me a puppy for my birthday. Losing a pet is hard but it will eventually get easier.

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

I lost my childhood cat last April, a few months before I got married. With all of the commotion of the wedding, my parents decided not to get a kitten right away. There is still a surviving cat in the house and my mom thought he may finally get a chance to be top cat. I have been married 8 months and they have not gotten another cat as a buddy for the one who is still alive.

I, on the other hand, got married in the end of June, moved into our condo in the end of July and we got two kittens in the end of Sept. We needed some time to get used to our new home, but I was lonely without pets and when we found our babies, we knew we had to have them.

I think everyone is different, grieves differently and needs different things.

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry about your kitty Beth

And I think your Mom will know if/when the time is ready to get a new kitty when that time comes. When I lost my last cat (she was pretty young when she died) it took me close to 10 years before I really felt 'healed' to get another one! It was combination of being in apartments that wouldn't allow them, to just never feeling it was 'ready' and then living with an ex who didn't like animals (just another reason he's an ex! )

On top of it, for me I knew that I could never be Mommy to another black & white kitty again, because that would be like replacing Rudy and I just didn't want it to feel like that

Everyone is different when it comes to this, and I think if something happened to our current kitty, I couldn't bear to wait as long to get another one.

Good Luck and saying prayers for your kitty, you and your Mom

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

this is so hard and unique for everyone. my personal preference is to get a new pet in a short period of time. i feel that the pet can't be replaced but the void of a pet is horrible. my grandparents have had a couple of dogs die and they went out immediately b/c they hated the absence of a furball. my mom always swore when roxie died, that she would wait a year or so. well, roxie was put to sleep on june 21st and she was at the pound june 23rd and brought home star on the 25th. when dh's dog was put to sleep, he and i scoured for a new dog. he was apprehensive b/c his dog was amazing. i had to reassure him that we weren't replacing casey but that a new dog would have a personality all it's own. we did have to wait until his parents were ready, but 5 months later, we all brought home charlotte and yes, her personality is unlike any other.

i don't think a pet can be replaced. like people, animals have their own personalities and the owners def. have an influence in bringing it out. but once you have a pet, it is nearly impossible to be without one. it is nearly excruciating to come home and not have a little furball jumping and kissing you. i wish you a lot of luck in your decision and tihs is hard...so hard, but we all send you our love. this sounds cheesey, but i always feel that your pet has a little influence in the new little guy that comes along.

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

Well I'm sure Gregg has told you. After our dog Maggie was hit by a car we waited for a while to get Mookie. When Maggie died, Mom swore she'd never get another dog EVER, but she just needed a little time to grieve. You see how much she adores Mookie now.

I'm sorry your cat isn't doing well

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

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Posted by cocoa
i don't think a pet can be replaced. like people, animals have their own personalities and the owners def. have an influence in bringing it out. but once you have a pet, it is nearly impossible to be without one. it is nearly excruciating to come home and not have a little furball jumping and kissing you. i wish you a lot of luck in your decision and tihs is hard...so hard, but we all send you our love. this sounds cheesey, but i always feel that your pet has a little influence in the new little guy that comes along.

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Thanks for all the . It's so true, I can't imagine home without my cat running out or sleeping on the bed when I visit. A new cat would never replace him, but maybe when the time is right I can convince my mother. I also thought it was good for her to have something to take care of, you know?

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

Beth,
I'm so sorry about your cat. In some ways losing a pet or caring for a sick pet can be harder than a person because their love is unconditional and they can't tell you what's wrong.

It's really up to you and your mom. When my first cat died, we were adopted by another cat pretty quickly, but my brother waited a few years. Go to a shelter, see how you both feel.

I hope everything works out for you!

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

i'm sorry your cat is sick

when our first dog was put to sleep it was in january or february. my dad was the one who missed the dog the most so we got him one of his own for father's day that year.

she was put to sleep in july of 2003. in the meantime my sister had bought a dog while still living at home, but couldn't take it with her when she got married. my parents swear that when my sister's dog dies they are not getting anymore. but we'll see, i think my dad will be sad without a buddy to watch tv with him.

as everyone else said it's different for everyone. i would wait until your mom expresses interest in getting another one. she might feel differently after the cat actually dies.

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

My dog died right before christmas last year. DH and I swore we would not get another puppy for a while. But we were miserable and the house was too quiet. We would go to the puppy shops 'just to look' .We fell in love with this puppy and had to take her home. It was 2-3 weeks since we lost our other dog We know we didn't replace our first dog but it helped us get over the grieving.
So sorry for the loss. You have to do what you feel will be good for you and your mom.

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

We just lost our Biscut last November, a week shy of his 17th birthday. He was my little brother, and my Mom's best friend. I'm getting teary just thinking about it.

Mom took time to grieve, more because she didn't want to train a new puppy in the winter and snow than anything else. We've started looking for a new dog for my parents, and Adam and I will be looking for a new puppy ourselves once we're settled in.

I Have told my mom, though, that her new dog will NOT be my sibling. I have a sibling, his name was Biscut, and he's gone now. The new dog will have a lower position in my heart, because I just couldn't take it any other way.

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

I will probably get flamed for this, but...

we usually have more than one dog at a time. If we know the end is near for one of our dogs, we will introduce a new puppy before the older or sick dog is gone. Basically we do it for the surviving dog, but we do it a little for ourselves, too.

It make the grieving a little morre bearable to know we have a new pet-friend to love. Having said that, everyone is different, and you need to do what is right for you & your mom.

to you both

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

I'm so sorry to hear about your family cat.

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

we waited and tried several dogs until we found THE one (well..the one that lives with my father) You definitely need time to grieve

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

i am so sorry to hear about your cat!
When I was younger, we had cats and they would run away or die within 2 years usually.....but my cat now has been mine for almost 15 years....I don't know if I could even replace him quickly.
We just got a new kitten in November, and found out she has a heart murmur....so I'm not sure how long she'll live even. So, the possibility o fboth of them dying occirs to me regularly...
It's so difficult when you lose a pet....I hope your cat's last days are as painless as possible.

Re: Those who have lost a pet...

Sorry to hear this about your kitty. I lost my first cat in Elem. school and it was so hard to get over. We (my mom, sister, and I) decided we wouldn't get another one for a while and than after a couple of years, we got our second cat. Personally, it was just easier for us to do it this way.