My FH has been getting some flak from my future MIL about how far apart the ceremony is from the reception and I wanted to get some opinions. Our ceremony is going to be at 1:30 (a full 1-hour mass) and our cocktail hour won't begin until 6 pm at Jericho Terrace. We have a lot of out of town guests, especially from my FH's side (he's from CT), and my MIL is concerned about the inconvenience. She even mentioned that she wouldn't be surprised if some people skipped the wedding and just showed up for the reception. We set up this schedule so we could take photos at Old Westbury Gardens and also a few at JT and still make our coctail hour to greet our guests. We also have a 5 pm 'pre-cocktail hour' for out of towners as a courtsey. WE figured that with the mass ending at 2:30, plus 30-minutes+ for the receiving line/photos and travel time to the guest hotel in Garden City and then back to JT guests wouldn't be that inconvenienced. My parents also might have some refreshments at their house for the in between as well. What does everyone think? I know it might be a longer wait than usual, but at the same time I didn't think it would be right for us to miss a chunk of our own reception.
FeliciaDA
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
While your time gap may seem large, I'm learning VERY FAST to do what YOU want to do and enjoy every minute of your day! I think given your circumstances, the timeframe you are working with isn't too far apart whatsoever. You are trying to please a lot of people , out of towners, etc. and I don't blame you for NOT wanting to miss out on your own party!
I was just about to post the same question ... my church is at 1pm, at least 1 hr. mass, receiving line, and depending on where we book our hall (it can be anywhere from 1/2 to 45 minutes away) I'm unsure what time to start the cocktail hour/reception. I also plan to take pictures at a separate location in between church/recept.
I think I'm just going to set a time and let whomever show up to either the church/reception, neither or both ...you cannot please everyone, unfortunately!
Good Luck!!
fallinlove04
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
my mass is at 2pm and the cocktail hour starts at 7. it is a big gap, but i did it to make it easier for me. the people that want to be at the ceremony will be there no matter what time it is. you definitely can't make everyone happy. both my parents and my fiances parents have rooms at the inn at fox hollow. our reception is at the fox hollow. they are both going to have wine and cheese prior to the reception for anyone that would like to join them. i actually don't mind the gap when i travel because then i can wear something different to the church and still have time to change. it will all work out, but you need to make the day go smoothly for you. everybody else will be able to cope with it.
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
i'm upset that my gap seems too small... church at 3 cocktail hour at 6...
Kelly9904
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
Honestly, My FI and I changed our wedding date because of a time gap. we felt it was just too much for the OOT'ers.
However, It is YOUR choice. If your parents can arrange a little GGT at your house in between so that OOT guests have a place to go I think it will be fine. But if I were you I would be prepared for many, except those you are close to, to not attend and instead only go the wedding.
Remember this, you will not please everyone when makeing wedding plans so do what you and your FH think is best and what makes you happy! in the end its YOUR day!!!!
Good Luck
ETA: Kelly I think your time gap is perfect! That was the same time gap with my MOH's wedding and there was plenty of time!!
Rob-luvs-me
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
We had this problem but decided to make the gap much less because we had many guests traveling from Staten Island, manhattan, Connecticut, and New Jersey who would be driving in for the evening and not staying over.
Basically we were told that none of them would come for the ceremony because it was too long for them to sit around.
I think though if your guest live locally or have a local hotel room to return to it will not be a problem for them - Just keep in mind that most will most likely NOT dress for the ceremony - Many of the weddings with large gaps people came rather casually to the ceremony then went home and changed during the break
kathleenmarie
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
if your having a pre cocktail hour and might have refreshments at the house then your fine. I think that the people will find things to do to occupy themselves. do what YOU want and dont let others have you concerned about things that you needednt be. My fsil is always saying things like 'what about this,' or 'what about that'..... ugh, who needs it.
LImom
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
My daughter has a similar gap set up. 2:00 church and a 6:30 reception. All of the groom's family are OOTer's who will be booking hotel rooms. He was the first to say they can go there. Our NJ and CT relatives will be welcome to come to our home although my daughter wants all the parents with her at Westbury Gardens for photos. I have a couple of friends who will be happy to take charge of refreshments at my home even though I won't be here. Do what you are comfortable with. My daughter's biggest concern is finding delays somewhere and not getting to her cocktail hour on time. She too wants to enjoy every moment of her day. Good luck.
LImom
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
Rob-luvs-me makes an excellent point. Does anyone know of a way to get these people to dress for the church as well? Can we spread it word-of-mouth that in our religion that's what we do?
september2004
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
One of the most important things for me is to make sure the timing is okay for our guests so I totally understand where your future MIL is coming from. I don't want my guests to have to kill time, when I say 'reception immediately following' I want to at least try to mean it.
I am estimating 1/2 out of town and 1/2 tri-state local guests. I am thinking of having the ceremony start at 2:00 as the reception is scheduled from 4:00-9:00. It's about a 30-40 minute drive from church to reception. We are doing it this way so those who are local don't have to get up at the crack of dawn for the ceremony, and if they elect to drive home, they will be in bed before 12:00.
As far as pictures go, I am keeping the posed shots to an absolute minimum and mostly at the church. We are keeping things small so it shouldn't be much of a problem...I hope...
jfabbride
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
We have a 3pm ceremony and 6pm reception but our church and reception hall are only about 10-15 minutes from each other. We were going to do a 7:30 reception but that seemed too much of a gap...although we won't be able to take pics somewhere else, I'm happy we did it the way we did. I wouldn't want to have to kill time in another city all dressedup for a wedding and no where to go.
But, ou should do what makes you happy....guests that are that important to you will find a way to go the church and reception...if they don't and it's too much of an inconvenience...then they probably weren't that important after all.
Good luck
gaby25
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
that's the same problem I think I am going to have. I still haven't picked a church but I have been told that for sunday weddings, the mass begins around 3:30. The churches I am looking at are in Westbury and Uniondale and the cocktail begins at 7. I'm not even sure if we will have enough time for everything since it is kind of a long ride but I don't want to miss the cocktail hour. Another thing that is confusing me is that I want to take pictures at the watermill, but I don't know if they would let us go in at least one hour early to do so.
wenndypoo
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
I recently went to a wedding where the church was at 2, and the cocktail hour at 6. I'm not gonna lie, it was a real pain in the neck. They made arrangements for everyone to hang out at a restaurant down the street. That was a nice gesture, but who wants to eat and drink before the wedding? I was an inconvienence, but it was their day, so what the heck. Alot of people didn't go to the church, but the people who wanted to be there made the effort. Bottom line, you can't make everyone happy. Make the best decision you can.
JimmysBride
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
Do what makes YOU happy. The people who truly care will be at both. Many of the same people who won't attend the ceremony because of a 5 hour gap also won't attend if there is a 4 hour, or 3 hour gap. So what are you supposed to do -- rush your pics or change your photo location for those people?
My ceremony is @ 2:30pm, CH starts at 6:30 and I also wish it was a longer gap. Honestly, most of your guests have probably attended a wedding with a gap before, it's not unheard of and they are probably expecting it to a certain extent anyway.
Maribelle7777
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
The thing is, sometimes it just works out that way. If it's a popular month, sometimes the Church can only give you a certain time and the hall can only give you a certain time. What can you do? If your mother is giving a small thing before the pre-cocktail thing then I'd say you're OK.
butterfly91804
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Re: TIME BETWEEN CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
I have the same time frame and did it so I can take pictures at the Planting Fields (mass in Manhattan and reception at the westbury manor). I figured my parents and my future inlaws will host a a small thing at their houses wtih some snacks, coffee etc. and then when they leave earlier to come take pictures, we will have a family member close up the house for them.
