Tipping the Maitre'd

Getting married at the end of August at Land's End...my father has been asking what is the appropriate amount to tip the maitre'd. I've seen anywhere from $1 to $5 a head to 15% - 20% of the total bill! Any words of wisdom?

Tipping the Maitre`d

My reception site is $1-$2 per person for the Maitre'd

Tipping the Maitre`d

I think $1 - $2 per person is the going rate if the wait-staff and other service people (restroom attendants, bartenders, coat check, etc) are covered seperately or included in the per/plate charge. If the tip to the Maitre'd covers everyone then go with the higher end of $5 per head. Our per/plate charge included a tip of about 12-13% and we tipped the Maitre'd $2 per person.

Tipping the Maitre`d

I was told the norm at the Crest Hollow is $3 per head. The maitre'd shares this tip, so each place probably suggests a slightly different amount depending on the number of staff members per person.

Tipping the Maitre`d

Just be careful with that 'sharing the tip' thing. My cousin worked at the Crest Hollow and many times the staff gets absolutely nothing out of the maitre d'. So you might want to speak to the halls regarding making sure who gets what. Our hall included 18% gratuity. We tipped only the maitre'd $2 per head. It's a shame that you have no guarantee that your gratuities are actually being shared the way they are supposed to.

I hope this isn`t taken wrong but...

...this subject has come up a few times about what the reception hall does with the service charge and who on the staff doesn`t get their share. When we got married 3 months ago, we were quite generous with tips so I don't say this as a penny pincher BUT...as a bride to be (as I was not too long ago) it's not my job to make sure they are distributing the service charge as they have stated. I just don`t see how that is considered something that the bride & groom need to worry about. You enter into a contract with the reception hall and this is what you are agreeing to: that the service charge is covering tips to waitstaff, coatroom, valets, bathroom attendants, etc. When I agreed to pay this amount, I am making good on this agreement and therefore these people are covered as far as tips are concerned. If the reception hall doesn`t make good on that to the employees, then the employees need to take it up with them. When they say that the tip for the maitre`d is not included, then he is the only one you need to cover with a tip. Again, I`m not trying to offend anyone but it just seems like one worry that does not belong on the plate of the bride and groom to be. There`s enough going on with a million other plans.

I agree with Elizabeth...

I think the tipping thing gets out of hand after a while. If the gratuity is included then as far as I am concerned that's it. If a gratuity is included with the limo charge I am not going to then tip again on top of it. Same goes with the catering hall. We were told the only 2 people that we need to tip individually are the maitre'd and the bridal attendant. Everyone else is included in the service charge, which is 18%. All the books I have read state anywhere from $1-$3 per person for the maitre'd depending on how your day goes. That seems fair and reasonable to me.

Elizabeth - I absolutely agree

The only reason I mentioned that is because an earlier post mentioned that the maitre'd shares his tips out. I just was mentioning it so that you can make sure that if the gratuity charge is NOT included in the contract, and the staff just relies on 'sharing' there may be some people that lose out -if it matters to you. It is absolutely not the bride's issue and should be between the hall and the employees. I certainly did not tip anyone besides the maitre'd that night and I agree that if my contract stated 18% to the wait/bar staff, then my end of the agreement was fulfilled. I didn't mean to imply anything except to maybe just make sure that there is some other gratuity in the contract for the rest of the workers. I also believe the tipping thing is out of control - you can search some of my earlier posts - and it is not something anyone should really spend time worrying about. Didn't mean to imply anything other than that. My husband absolutely refused to tip the photographer and the videographer simply because the tipping was out of control, so I totally agree with your post. Sorry if anyone took it the wrong way.

Lee-your comments were not offensive at all

I just remember seeing it talked about several times before and I know it can cause confusion for brides-to-be. It so much easier to see this stuff clearly after the wedding :o) Beforehand, it can be confusing to figure it all out. I hate to see anyone feel responsible for the 'gratuity infrastructure' at their reception hall when there`s a whole lot more to focus on with all their wedding plans.

Lee-your comments were not offensive at all

Actually, when we picked our menu, the whateveryoucall him explained that there are sometimes problems with tip sharing and noted the amount based on our expected turnout so that THEY can check on the maitre'd. As I see it, there is nothing you could do about it personally, but hope everyone is honest.