Do you go to someone's wedding JUST b/c they came to yours?
FH has out of state third and fourth cousins that we sent invites to. Honestly, we thought they were 'courtesy' invites b/c we invited family of the same 'level' locally and we just didn't want to offend anyone. It turns out they're COMING. We didn't think they would. We didnt even really WANT them to come b/c we're already WAYYY over our minimum. Whatever, they're coming. Great. Can't wait to meet them.
The issue is one of these cousins is getting married 2 weeks after us... in Massechusetts... and now FMIL is pressuring us to go! First and foremost, we don't even WANT to go. Second, I can't see taking time off of work (I work weekends) the week after I return from my honeymoon to go to a stranger's wedding. What would you do?
NickandTara426
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Re: Tit for Tat?
Maybe send your regrets but send a gift?
SB7308
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I would say no just b/c you said its right after the HM and you have to work since you will be off for that and for the wedding. I think thats your excuse
Kimbalina
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No,, you dont have to go. Send a gift instead
Gigi08
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If you're unable to take more time off from work so soon after your wedding, I'm sure they will understand. Send a gift and write something nice in the card...actually a call might be nice explaining why. Maybe they're sending an invitation to you with the same intentions...out of courtesy and not really expecting you to come.
Toucan311
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Re: Tit for Tat?
We will definitely send a gift. I bet they don't even expect us to come. I'm shocked they're comign to ours. FH thinks they're coming so that they're guaranteed a gift from us!
GinaZ
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Re: Tit for Tat?
Im sure if you send your regrets and explain you tried to get off work and just couldnt and send a nice gift, they wont even care. Who knows- maybe she is way above her minimum too!
Future Mulligan
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Re: Tit for Tat?
I like to do tit for tat BUT in this case i would just tell them that unfortunately you cannot make it and i would send them a nice gift
Toucan311
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Posted by Future Mulligan
I like to do tit for tat BUT in this case i would just tell them that unfortunately you cannot make it and i would send them a nice gift
I BET you do
Kerin2804
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We just had his cousins wedding way up in Pennsylvania, which we declined but we sent her a place setting of her china.
08JulyBride
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They will definitely understand if you don't go right after your wedding - will have just had so much time off of work.. Just include a nice note explaining why you can't go and that you'll be thinking of them that day blah blah blah...
lucky1010
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Re: Tit for Tat?
You don't have to go because they are coming to yours... But keep in mind, people can get upset because they are going to yours and either do a no show, show up or call and say they can't make it.
I would send a gift and call it a day
mRm2008
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I had this happen with TWO distant female cousins who also were getting married this year BEFORE me. My Nana is close to their Aunts/Uncles and I know these cousins exist, but had never met them in person. My Nana got a lot of phone calls from her relation telling her 'make sure Megan invites so and so because she is invited to theirs' so to not cause drama w/ my Nana I put invites out to them all.
I RSVP'd NO to both of theirs, sending a monetary gift instead - they both RSVP'd NO to me and did not send a gift either. Oh well such is life
LuvMyAlfonse
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Don't go. Just send a nice gift from their registry.
I am not a fan of tit for tat. On any level.
TheFutureMrsM
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Send them the exact same gift they gave you in the mail.
Thats what i would do
sophisticat13
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Posted by Gigi08
If you're unable to take more time off from work so soon after your wedding, I'm sure they will understand. Send a gift and write something nice in the card...actually a call might be nice explaining why. Maybe they're sending an invitation to you with the same intentions...out of courtesy and not really expecting you to come.
I agree. Usually it's nice to reciprocate but the situations aren't equal here...
MSeed
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I would send regrets and a gift!
bluegreen08
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Posted by GinaZ
Im sure if you send your regrets and explain you tried to get off work and just couldnt and send a nice gift, they wont even care. Who knows- maybe she is way above her minimum too!
I agree.
wo0shply
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Re: Tit for Tat?
I wouldn't go, I would tell them that you cant take off work and send a wedding gift/check.
