To ask or not to ask?

Hey Ladies,

So FH's step-brother got married a year and a 1/2 ago and we were both in the wedding party. We had a great relationship with his brother and his wife - we spent a ton of money on them...and now it's our turn to get married. But the thing is we don't have the same relationship with them anymore...they never call but when we see them in person I love them all over again. Plus they had a baby so they don't really talk to us anymore except for family functions. SO now my question is: Do you think we need to ask them being that we were in their wedding? It is his step-brother and FH said it makes no difference to him he is leaving the decision up to me...if we ask his brother I have to ask his wife too? Should I just suck it up and ask so there is no hard feelings?

If I do ask I don't want it to be like...We will talk when it's time to go get dresses and tuxes and that's it....I really don't feel like dealing with the extra drama? Any advice?

Also the step-brother and wife had a little girl who they think is being the flower girl...but we ARE NOT having kids at the wedding it's a Sunday night...so how do I work around that to...they can be in the wedding but there is going to be no kids?

grrrrr..please help ladies sorry so long, just dont know how to handle this one...because now they are starting to ask who the bridal party it and we have already officially asked our siblings but we were undecided with them...


Sorry so Long!

I would probably just ask them to be nice and reciprocate (although it is not necessary from what I hear).Its not like it will make your BP lopsided b/c it will be the 2 of them. Tell them that you want to both make an effort to hang out with them more.

As for the FG- I would tell them that you are not having childresn at the wedding or in the BP b/c you want the parents to be able to enjoy themselves. It will be alot for the parents to have to take pics and be a part of the BP while attending to their child.

DON'T DO IT!

FH is not close to his sisters, but I felt obligated to ask them to be in the wedding. BIG MISTAKE. If I could take it back, I'd have asked my brothers' wives instead.

They didn't come to the shower, didn't send a card, and one of them didn't even RSVP. They never even sent us a card to congratulate us on getting engaged. They never check in to see how the wedding stuff is going, etc.

Their MOTHER called to RSVP for them to the RD I guess b/c the phone is too difficult for them. These are women in their 30s, one married with children.

Do yourself a BIG favor -- DO NOT feel obligated to ask anyone to be in your BP. Any small drama that could come from not asking is better than the drama of having them in the BP. You want people who WANT to be there for you, who are excited for you, and who won't cause drama.

People grow apart - I'm sure they aren't expecting to be asked!

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Posted by SOTHISISLOVE53109
SO now my question is: Do you think we need to ask them being that we were in their wedding? Sorry so Long!

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The fact that you were in their wedding doesn't matter. Agreeing to be in someone's wedding while single doesn't bind you to be in their wedding if and when they get married.

The fact that they were in your wedding isn't a good enough reason alone to ask them. You have to WANT to have them in your wedding.