To brides who have or will be keeping their maiden names

Original post by EmberLynn

Aug 03, 2005 09:19 PM

My fiance isn't thrilled that I've choosen to keep my name, but he does have a point when it comes to his family. They won't handle it well. His family is very very very old school. Their mind set hasn't left the 50's. I know I'm rocky ground with them already, (I'm not catholic and my family isn't from money.)Any suggestions on how to deal with this? I was thinking about informing them soon before the wedding or just not telling them at all. Any advise?

jeanla4c Posted: Aug 04, 2005 11:16 AM

Re: To brides who have or will be keeping their maiden names

Definitely a tough one for me! What I decided to do is to add his last name to mine w/o a hyphen, that way I can use either alone or both. I am having weird reactions to beign sent birthday cards to Mrs. Jean HIs last name right now but my family is writing it all out.....his family asked what I was doing and I told them, I haven't heard any negative things. DH is totally fine with it and didn't care what I did but I have friends who didn't want to change and their DH was not happy so they did. GL!!!!

Ronkonkomonga Posted: Aug 04, 2005 11:23 AM

Re: To brides who have or will be keeping their maiden names

Posted by randella

Ok-- well, what I was planning on doing- was not changing my name legally, but using DH's name socially, etc.

I then planned to hyphenate- so I can use either name when I wanted to-- but never together- although both would be part of my legal name.

So- our marriage certificate has my name hyphenated-- but, I have not gotten around to doing anything else.

for all intents and purposes-- I am Mrs. B.. but, legally-- I am still plain ole me..

ETS-- So you can do that-- they don;t have to know that you did not legally change your name-- what are they going to do-- call up Social Security?

I love this Randi - it maps out a way to keep everyone happy. You are having your cake and eating it too. Your fiance is happy - you are happy.

I'm going to copy the entire thing!!!! I wanted to keep my name - but my fiance will practically set his hair on fire in protest if I don't take his.... my name is totally vanilla and I love it - his is ethnic and Its not me at all. I can't identify with it - I never could.

ssdbk Posted: Aug 04, 2005 11:27 PM

Re: To brides who have or will be keeping their maiden names

Posted by EmberLynn

I just dread the idea of people calling me Mrs. Josesph Anthony M. I find that so insulting. I'm sill Bonnie, I hate the idea of being under his shadow

I know what you mean. I feel bad doing placecards and invites that say Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. It's like, where is the lady's identity? So, we hope to at least do Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith. Personally I don't care if some, more old fashioned people, call me Mrs. Whatever, but for anything official, I'll keep my name (also, I have a business established in my name, so it could really suck for me to make a change).