To those of you who didn't have an eparty...

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Posted by dajc23

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Posted by Kris109

umm...I don't want to sound rude, but, I didn't have an e party, because I don't believe in them...and we got a handful of engagement gifts, from our aunts, but I felt very awkward even taking them. I really don't believe in engagement gifts either. I think too much focus has shifted to gifts...you get an engagement gift, a shower gift, then a wedding gift? I don't think it's right. I think an engagement announcement...is pretty much asking for a gift...IMHO, the people who need to know...got the phone call the night you said yes...

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You dont sound rude...FH was so completely against the idea of an engagement party, so i compromised and said fine we wont have one, but i just want to announce it somehow anyway. So thats when we printed up announcements and sent them out. I know most of my family cant afford an engagement gift, shower and wedding gift...

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Ok good! I didn't want to sound like a b*tch!
I just get crazed when it seems like it's becoming all about presents...I think sending out announcements is just fine...you may get some phone calls from people you haven't spoken to in a while!

Didn't have a party, didn't send out announcements, didn't register (still haven't), but we received cards and a few gifts from family members. I think it's kind of presumptuous to assume that just because you got engaged that you'll receive gifts... you're not married yet.

ETA: I don't mean you personally... just you in general.

I understand what some people are saying and I kind of agree. It gets to be so much when you have to go to an engagement party or give and engagement gift, the 8 months later, go to a shower, then 2 months later, go to the wedding. Especially when ALL of your friends are getting married. Sometimes we forget about how much money is actually being shelled out by our relatives and friends

ETS: none the less, I always give whatever i can. But sometimes I feel a little cheap b/c I can't give a lot b/c everything is so close together

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by dajc23

Ok I feel better now..I swear though I have never received an invitation or engagement announcements withOUT registry info...I honestly thought it was what people did.
That's why I loveeeeeeeeee this website. I learn more and more everyday
Thanks girls!!

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ive seen it too and its understandable if thats what you saw. I understand some girls dont go on websites, but they say it in wedding magazines all the time, etiquette books. I mean when ppl plan a wedding dont they read all these things

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I've heard so many things about weddings and what the 'proper' actions are in going about planning...I didn't want you girls to think i was coming off as being greedy and selfish. B/c if you knew me, thats so completely the opposite of who I am. I'm just getting phone calls from people and my mom keeps calling me with names of people who are emailing her and asking her if we're registered anywhere so they can send something. So i thought maybe I was wrong in not doing just that....

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Posted by dajc23

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by dajc23

Ok I feel better now..I swear though I have never received an invitation or engagement announcements withOUT registry info...I honestly thought it was what people did.
That's why I loveeeeeeeeee this website. I learn more and more everyday
Thanks girls!!

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ive seen it too and its understandable if thats what you saw. I understand some girls dont go on websites, but they say it in wedding magazines all the time, etiquette books. I mean when ppl plan a wedding dont they read all these things

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I've heard so many things about weddings and what the 'proper' actions are in going about planning...I didn't want you girls to think i was coming off as being greedy and selfish. B/c if you knew me, thats so completely the opposite of who I am. I'm just getting phone calls from people and my mom keeps calling me with names of people who are emailing her and asking her if we're registered anywhere so they can send something. So i thought maybe I was wrong in not doing just that....

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no not at all.

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Posted by dajc23

Did you register before you sent out your annoucements or did you just hope they would send money or other gifts on their own?? FH and I thought that maybe since our families are pretty generous gift givers that maybe we would do ok just sending out annoucements with no registry..apparently we were wrong lol we have barely received anything from anyone!!!
Am I sounding too selfish??

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I'm sorry that happened! Debi knew Fred's Parents were planning an e-party for them, last Thanksgiving, so she registered before the party,

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Posted by dajc23

Did you register before you sent out your annoucements or did you just hope they would send money or other gifts on their own?? FH and I thought that maybe since our families are pretty generous gift givers that maybe we would do ok just sending out annoucements with no registry..apparently we were wrong lol we have barely received anything from anyone!!!
Am I sounding too selfish??

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i dont think that most people give gifts unless there is a party - i've just noticed that. Unless of course they are very close to you.

ok we didnt have an engagement party - we had a small dinner

but we FH's family sent us cash - even (especially) those not invited to the dinner

we didnt send out announcements or anything like that - but FH's parents have gone to so many engagement parties for family and friends that all these people started sending us checks when they heard we were engaged and not having a party! THEN some of my friends even sent us checks when they found out we werent having a party!

it was very generous of them and now i know to do the same! but before i got engaged i had no idea!

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Posted by davenjess

We didn't have a party....

We sent out our Save The Dates in March & registered soon after. Apparently, my family was waiting for us to register to get us some items...

I'm sorry you didn't get the reaction you wanted!!!

We did have a website that we included on the std's though and the website had our registry info....

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Same for us...

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Posted by dajc23

Did you register before you sent out your annoucements or did you just hope they would send money or other gifts on their own?? FH and I thought that maybe since our families are pretty generous gift givers that maybe we would do ok just sending out annoucements with no registry..apparently we were wrong lol we have barely received anything from anyone!!!
Am I sounding too selfish??

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wait until the bridal shower, don't expect to get anything before then

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Posted by dajc23

I've heard so many things about weddings and what the 'proper' actions are in going about planning...I didn't want you girls to think i was coming off as being greedy and selfish. B/c if you knew me, thats so completely the opposite of who I am. I'm just getting phone calls from people and my mom keeps calling me with names of people who are emailing her and asking her if we're registered anywhere so they can send something. So i thought maybe I was wrong in not doing just that....

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My mom kept asking me the same thing.... 'People are asking me if you are having a party, they want to know if they should send a card / gift now or wait ..' I thought it was odd .. but I didn't have a party, didn't send out invites, just called certain people and the word spread ... and I actually got a LOT of cards and about 10 gifts ... some giftcards, a few checks, and some 'novelty' gifts - cardbox from my aunt, a lenox cake cutting set from my mom's friend, a cake topper from a good friend of mine, etc. I was suprised at the cash, but the others were typical of what I've seen, typical things having to do with the wedding, so I wasn't too surprised (but delighted nonetheless).