FH and I met with a photographer yesterday. We're getting married in November and having a church mass at 5p.m. It will be dark by the time I see FH so we won't have any pictures in daylight together. The photog suggested we either see each other before the ceremony (which I def. don't want to do), have the church at 1 and the reception at 7 (which would have a lot of wasted people and it's an inconvenience to them) or to go back to her the day after for shots of the two of us in daylight. My parents seem to think the dress will be a mess, our eyes will be all bloodshot and we'll want to relax the day after. Any suggestions.
MikeandJess
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Re: totally disappointed
the day after shoot isn't literally the day after. You can do it 6 months from your wedding if you really wanted to
autumnbride10
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Posted by Brian and Marie
Posted by jnkcrunk
I never get why people do pictures BEFORE The ceremony....youre not married yet!!!!!!!! !
I COMPLETELY AGREE!!!
SAME HERE!
bluegreen08
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Re: totally disappointed
I wouldn't get mad at your photographer, it sounds like they were just giving you the different options you have if you want to have daylight pictures.
I personally am doing pictures before the ceremony. I care a lot about my pictures and want everyone to look fresh, and I don't want to be rushed. My photographer also said she can set up a 'seeing eachother for the first time' situation that allows much better pictures and emotion than during the ceremony, although we'll get those pictures too. not just a 'hey, here I am!' kind of thing. I did NOT want to miss my cocktail hour (FH and his family have never been to a NY wedding, and the CH is one of the best parts!).
I'm also getting married at my hall, but if I wasn't I hate hate hate when weddings have a big break before the reception. Obviously people also hate the idea of taking pictures before, but you have to pick what is more impt to you. We are having OOT guests and I think it's a huge inconvenience for them. Where are they supposed to go? See a movie? It also kills the excitement IMO of going straight from the ceremony to party!!!
You could do some pictures before, but your pictures with FH afterwards but it seems like your issue is more with daylight than not missing your whole CH.
If you really hate the idea of seeing FH before the ceremony, your best bet might be the day after shoot. You dont have to do it literally the day after, it's an excuse to get back in your dress, but it's a bit more expensive. (hair, makeup, more photography, etc).
Good luck with your decision.
lucamon
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Re: totally disappointed
I am having my pictures taken before the ceremony. I don't care what anyone says, it's something that FH and I have decided on. We want the most out of our pictures, more so than him seeing me for the first time during the ceremony. Pictures are for a lifetime. When I walk down that isle, I am going to have goosebumps and be so emotional that nothing else matters. Ultimately, the decision is yours. Go with what you are comfortable with.
Cacarina
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Posted by jnkcrunk
do the day after shoot!!!
I never get why people do pictures BEFORE The ceremony....youre not married yet!!!!!!!!
the day after at least you are taking pictures as husband and wife!!!! i think it would be fun to put on the dress again! good luck!
What's the big deal with taking pictures before?
francine01
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I can understand how you feel. I am also worried about pics because my FH doesnt want to see me before walking down the aisle either. Technically the only pics we will have beforehand are the two of us getting ready. I like the idea that he see's me for the first time and the photographer catches that on film beforehand. I guess there really is no difference, he is still seeing me for the first time. Then at least we can have pics. I think that this is such a personal decision. Basically one that has to be lived with forever. Dont let anyone make that choice for you.
portjeffbride
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fine, we had a daytime wedding.... but I frankly don't see why it's so necessary to get outdoor pictures in daylight all your wedding memories will be of a ceremony after dark, and an indoor reception at night.... To me, the pictures should also be at night, and indoors.... so they match your memories....
I agree with everything you said, about it not being convenient with the guests to have a giant gap of time in the afternoon just for pics, and rescheduling the ceremony. I frankly don't see it being necessary.... be true to yourself, and keep to the schedule you and FH envisioned.
I think photographers can be a bit ridiculous. Why do they need hours for all these staged stuffy formal pictures? Our photographer had 40 minutes, and it all got done.... we have gorgeous proofs.
The wedding day is a day of celebration, not of portraits
Future Mulligan
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Posted by DeannaNDave07
i originally didnt want to see my FH either before the ceremony... but our photographer is setting up something with us so when we see each other for the first time before ... he will capture those moments.. it will be special in our own way!! and this way we can do all our pics before and go to our CH.
that is what we are doing as well......i also didnt want to see FH before the ceremony but it works out so much better for us doing it this way.....i think day after pics are a little weird....JMO
jeanne08
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IMO: Don't let your photographer decide what time your wedding day events take place! You are hiring THEM they should follow the schedule that YOU set!!!!!!!!
babieblueeyez96
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can you do the church at like 2 or 3??? then you til like 430ish for day shoots??? i dont know just an idea
PegaLega
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Truthfully your dress will not be a mess, yes the bottom will be dirty but that doesnt show up in pictures. If you are really not into seeing each other before hand then dont! Period, dont let a photographer tell you how your day should go, either they can work with it or they cant. Jtgarsik had her wedding at night and her pictures came out beautifully
Good Luck with whatever you choose. maybe you should set it up with the photographer to do all of your group pics before hand.
meaning the groom pictures with his GMs and his parents and then the pics of you with the girls and your family..this way the only pictures that really need to be taken after are the group BP pictures, full family pics and you and DH.
DeannaNDave07
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Posted by Future Mulligan
Posted by DeannaNDave07
i originally didnt want to see my FH either before the ceremony... but our photographer is setting up something with us so when we see each other for the first time before ... he will capture those moments.. it will be special in our own way!! and this way we can do all our pics before and go to our CH.
that is what we are doing as well......i also didnt want to see FH before the ceremony but it works out so much better for us doing it this way.....i think day after pics are a little weird....JMO
i think its a little weird also.. until LIW.. i never heard of doing that before.. besides.. wouldnt you have to spend so much more $$$ on your hair/mu keeping the tuxes longer?? getting your BP together if you wanted them all in the pics ..im just not into that.. everyone has their opinions though!
ksl268
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I had that dilemma too. Our Mass is at 4pm and sunset should about 4:30pm. By the time we leave the church it will be after 5pm and total darkness. I stressed but I knew I didn't want to do the pic's before either. Our reception hall has some lighting outdoors and we will be using that for most of the pic's if we are able to take some outside.
Shorty McBride
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Re: totally disappointed
I'm getting married in 2 weeks, ceremony is at 5pm.
I understand that there will be no daylight pics, but is that such a big deal? The church has a light, the photogs have flashes, it's really not a big deal.
If daylight is important to you, maybe a 5pm November wedding isn't the best choice!
If you want the daylight, just do photos before.
Shorty McBride
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Posted by portjeffbride
fine, we had a daytime wedding.... but I frankly don't see why it's so necessary to get outdoor pictures in daylight all your wedding memories will be of a ceremony after dark, and an indoor reception at night.... To me, the pictures should also be at night, and indoors.... so they match your memories....
I agree with everything you said, about it not being convenient with the guests to have a giant gap of time in the afternoon just for pics, and rescheduling the ceremony. I frankly don't see it being necessary.... be true to yourself, and keep to the schedule you and FH envisioned.
I think photographers can be a bit ridiculous. Why do they need hours for all these staged stuffy formal pictures? Our photographer had 40 minutes, and it all got done.... we have gorgeous proofs.
The wedding day is a day of celebration, not of portraits
yeah, what she said!
GinaBambina08
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Day after shots don't necessarily have to be taken the very next day, some brides take them up to a year after the wedding
Autumn08
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I wouldn't say the photographer is bullying you. He/she is jsut giving opinions based onwhat it is you say you want. You want day pictures but the ceremony ends after sunset.... do the math. Sorry to be blunt but you will have to do something. Play around with the timing or see each other before. I wanted to wait until the ceremony to see FH but we are getting married at the hall so we are going to plan the first sight as something special. A suggestion my photographer made. He said he can get the pictures done during the CH but may run into part of the reception. So I decided to do them before. And I'm really happy with my decision because I will be able to enjoy and visit with guests and such. I'm also happy to see FH before. Many passed brides said it helped calm them before the ceremony. But that works for me. May not work for you. Good Luck. Keep us updated.
Another bride mentioned not chaning a thing. And do pictures throughout. Which can work. If you don't mind the daylight outdoor pictures.
Also ask to see work under lowlight. Maybe you can get great outdoor shots after sunset.
oldladybride
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we didn't have the daylight issue because our ceremony was at 3:30 on9-2. But I have my proofs and the one of DH as he sees me the first time coming into the church is as the commercial says . . Priceless. I don't know if doing pics before hand even if they arrange to get that 'look' would be the same because it's not really the same as you coming to join with him in the church to exchage vows. There is something in that atmosphere, with the church lights, the music, your friends and family that inspire you.
I agree with those that say take the evening shots with flash. I have seen some on LIW and they look beautiful. Most of the RH are landscaped and hve outdoor lights, maybe fountains? It will be wonderful.
BTW our ceremony was 3:30, finished maybe 4, we had a receiving line. the trip to the RH was about 40 mins and we finished the formal photos at about 5:30/5:45. but we had an efficient photographer and a small wedding party/family to shoot so moving your mass earlier might not be a bad idea anyway.
Trishthedish
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I had the same issue as you when we got engaged.
Originally we were having our matrimonial mass (whcih takes about an hour and a half with the receiving line) at 5:00 at the end of September and I wanted pics during daylight hours. Our cocktail hour did not start until 8:30 PM.
What we did was push the church back to 3:30 this way we could take daylight pics. My pictures were more important for me to cherish for the rest of my life than worrying what people are going to do in between.
BTW, my mom ended up having people back at their clubhouse but not many people went.
ETA: It's your day, you do what you want. People will find a place to go otherwise, they just won't be at the church and they will attend the reception. From waht people tell me, my church was packed but I didn't even notice b/c I was so nervous that day.
LBride
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taking pictures beforehand was the best idea we had... our church was 5 in Decemeber.... how about taking pictures inside at the hall?? we had a beautiful day luckily but we still took pictures inside
