Tough Situation (long, but needed to vent!)
I am feeling really bad....My FMIL is going to be hosting one of my showers...(I am having 2 due to geographical location) Her shower will be for her complete side of the family as well as any BM that I want to invite.
Now for the situation..... FMIL has been very adament about the following......She said that she would only invite my mother AND my step-mother or none at all. She will not invite just my step-mother. Now let me tell you why this bothers me so much...
I have never been close to my mother. But EXTREMELY close to my step-mother. My mother has not helped with one thing for my wedding. She does not know what my dress looks like, who is in my bridal party...(even if she did ask who my BM's were, she would not know any of the girls) Believe me...I am not complaining that she is distant from this wedding, because if she did offer to help out with anything, she would only annoy me and cause more stress on me. I have not even spoken to her in about 3 months, because the last time we talked...she hung up the phone on me...
I feel like the above situation with my mother is her loss, and I am really not bothered by it. It is actually making my wedding planning more enjoyable and less stressful by her uninvolvment.
But...I am really feeling hurt, that my FMIL knows evey detail of the above, and more and she still will not invite my stepmother (who has helped plan the whole wedding) unless I tell her she can invite my mother. I can't imagine having a shower and not having my stepmother there....especially not even invited to it. (FMIL is invited to the shower on LI that my side (fathers side) of the family is throwing) I dont want my mother there, because I dont want her playing off the mother of the bride roll to these people that she does not even know....My step-mother should be the one to play the mother of the bride roll..she deserves it more!
FI is going tonight to try to talk to her, but I dont think he is going to get anywhere. FFIL has already tried talking to her and she was very stubborn.
FMIL is afraid that my mother might find out that my stepmother was invited to the shower she had and my mother was not. I understand this would put her in a funny situtation, but I dont think there is a big chance of my mother finding out....and I feel like who is this shower for anyway....
Needed to vent.
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Now for the situation..... FMIL has been very adament about the following......She said that she would only invite my mother AND my step-mother or none at all. She will not invite just my step-mother. Now let me tell you why this bothers me so much...
I have never been close to my mother. But EXTREMELY close to my step-mother. My mother has not helped with one thing for my wedding. She does not know what my dress looks like, who is in my bridal party...(even if she did ask who my BM's were, she would not know any of the girls) Believe me...I am not complaining that she is distant from this wedding, because if she did offer to help out with anything, she would only annoy me and cause more stress on me. I have not even spoken to her in about 3 months, because the last time we talked...she hung up the phone on me...
I feel like the above situation with my mother is her loss, and I am really not bothered by it. It is actually making my wedding planning more enjoyable and less stressful by her uninvolvment.
But...I am really feeling hurt, that my FMIL knows evey detail of the above, and more and she still will not invite my stepmother (who has helped plan the whole wedding) unless I tell her she can invite my mother. I can't imagine having a shower and not having my stepmother there....especially not even invited to it. (FMIL is invited to the shower on LI that my side (fathers side) of the family is throwing) I dont want my mother there, because I dont want her playing off the mother of the bride roll to these people that she does not even know....My step-mother should be the one to play the mother of the bride roll..she deserves it more!
FI is going tonight to try to talk to her, but I dont think he is going to get anywhere. FFIL has already tried talking to her and she was very stubborn.
FMIL is afraid that my mother might find out that my stepmother was invited to the shower she had and my mother was not. I understand this would put her in a funny situtation, but I dont think there is a big chance of my mother finding out....and I feel like who is this shower for anyway....
Needed to vent.
