Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

This weekend I went to my inlaw's house and my SIL said in front of the entire family, 'Are you going to name your son Joseph the fourth?' My DH is a third and I have absolutely no interest in naming my son the 4th. I thought it was rude for my SIL to ask me this in front of my MIL and FIL, especially considering I'm not even pregnant! LOL! What would you do? I feel so guilty for breaking family tradition and my DH is wishy-woshy about it, but for G*d's Sake -- he's not a freaking king! When will it end? It's like movie sequels ... they have to end sometime! Plus, I really don't like his middle name. Opinions?

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

That was completely rude of your SIL. I would try to ignore it the best you can. Say something like 'We'll decide that when the time comes'...

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

Well, in this case, I guess it's a good thing you're not pregnant, and of course, you can always hope and pray that you only have girls I'm just kidding. She should not have done that to you in front of the family, but it is ultimately YOU AND DH'S decision. You have to live with the kid, so you should be the one naming him. But don't worry about it now, especially because you're not preggo.

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

Well i think either way i would have said...'you'll just have to wait and see' With a BIG smile. Buys you time so the two of you can think about it. It is was really important to me DH i would but if he was wishy washy...i would suggest other names you like better in private first then anounce your decision together

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

That's what I did say....I said, 'We haven't really picked out baby names yet -- I guess we'll talk about that when I'm pregnant.' But seriously -- would you carry on the family tradition to prevent a family war or name your child something that came from your heart? I feel like I'd be hurting my DH too as much as he won't admit it.

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

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Posted by 121502

Well, in this case, I guess it's a good thing you're not pregnant, and of course, you can always hope and pray that you only have girls it now, especially because you're not preggo.

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That's what I told DH last night.


They know we're going to start trying soon.

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

well that is tough.. But like i said i would really talk about it with your DH. See what he really wants. And if he wants to keepup the tradition...yes i would give in...BUT i would also say that any other children you have YOU NAME!

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

Well, if I was hurting my DH, then of course I would consider it, but at the same time, the freaking tradition has to end SOMETIME. What are you going to do, have 20 people with the same name in the family? What about SIL? Can't she name HER son that?

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

I would pick a name that you both like. It's not up to his family to name your baby.

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

My FH is a 3rd also and he is adamant about not naming our child the 4th!! His sister has said something about it before and we let them know that we will not be handing down that name. He HATES his name

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

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Posted by matron



'Hiya, this is my son Joseph, his cuzin Joseph, my husband Joseph, and my dear ol' grandpa Joseph...'

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THAT is why YOU need to break the tradition! And not for nothing, who is your SIL to put YOU on the spot if SHE didn't even name HER son that?!?!?!?! Ok, rant over.

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

i have been fighting FH for about a year now regarding this issue... he is a JR. and wants to have a III. i do NOT want this AT ALL. i have gotten it to the point where he will 'consider' alternatives as long as his name is the child's middle name. but it took months of kicking and screaming to get to this point...

we have agreed on a girl's name, but yet to figure out the boy. i say start the negotiations now, cause it will take a LONG TIME to convince them otherwise...



ETA: one 'bargaining tool' i used was to have his mother's name the middle name of a daughter

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

Ok, I must add, granted her husband does not share the same name as your FIL, I still think that she should have named her son that, and not you

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

THAT is why YOU need to break the tradition! And not for nothing, who is your SIL to put YOU on the spot if SHE didn't even name HER son that?!?!?!?! Ok, rant over.

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She KILLS me! I guess it wasn't her name to pass on .... she probably would have if she didn't think I would. Aargh, this whole tradition thing kills me. My sister named her son Daniel the 3rd. Every time I ask her how Danny is, she has to ask 'Husband or Son?' I so don't want this!

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

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Posted by matron

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Posted by Julestrd

My FH is a 3rd also and he is adamant about not naming our child the 4th!! His sister has said something about it before and we let them know that we will not be handing down that name. He HATES his name

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AAAAAH! Can you have your FH talk to my DH .... and can you tell me how you had the balls to break the news to your SIL?

My SIL named her son Jerry Joseph, so I thought that would take care of it...at least the Joseph was in there somewhere. God, I'm gonna feel like a hick if I give in.

'Hiya, this is my son Joseph, his cuzin Joseph, my husband Joseph, and my dear ol' grandpa Joseph...'

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Just like on My big fat greek wedding. Nick, Nick, Nick Jr. and Nicki !!!

Really I think my FH had made up his mind a long time ago and the question had come up after Grandpa SR. died and he still considers maybe giving our child a middle name.

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

I love you guys. I so knew you'd understand. I told my DH 'JOSEPH' (why do I even bother writing 'DH' at this point? ) that I was posting this too bc I knew you'd all be on my side. Believe me, negotiations started in 98 when we met.

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

Smart girl! Always start early. JT, THANK GOD, is NOT a junior because he is James Timothy, and his dad and grandpa are James Joseph. But I would have fought it to the grave if I had to because technically, his dad is Seamus (he's from Ireland), so he's not really a James anyway. Did that make sense?

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Had to reread it three times to understand it, but I do! Lucky Girl!

Re: Tough Situation -- Opinions Needed

Ha! That king line was funny! I am a third and believe me there is not going to be a fourth!! The paperwork mistakes through motor vehicles and various other bills and what not that get mixed up between my father and myself is enough to drive a man crazy. It is not so bad now that we have different permanent addresses but when I was at home the two of us were interchangable on paper...until they read the birthdate!!